Soul Hunter Family Life
by Slifer02
Summary: Welcome to Dartz's little family... filled with food flinging, revenge and excessive sugar-highness. Rating just in case.
1. Default Chapter

I really need to stop starting new fics... But anyways- here it is. I'll update my other two stories soon. Ummm... Please read and review! Thanks! oh, and to those who read my other story, Swapping Places, I will repost it- FINISHED- but I just can't get past this one part. However- upon my soul, I will finish it. I swear I will. Thank you for understanding.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from YGO!

* * *

Part One: Stew Wars

"This was why I suggested to skip the stew, fool."

"Ew! He got some in MINE!"

"I never knew that stew flew at that velocity before..."

"Valon! If you don't slow down your eating, you're banished from this end of the table!" Dartz, the other three's boss, moved his stew away from the flying missiles that was Valon's stew that so far hadn't been eaten and pointed down towards the empty chairs of the very long table. "Don't make me do it!"

The blue-eyed brunette placed his fork back down onto his plate and swallowed, ignoring the pain his burning tongue was feeling. When Rafeal cooked stew he made sure it was served smoking hot. And the smoking part isn't an exaggeration, it was a miracle anyone could see each other. "Whot did I do now, eh? Just eatin' my stew and you all are back ta buggin' me!" Valon protested, innocent blue eyes sliding from the disgusted Alister, to the cool but still disgusted Rafeal to the fury blue and yellow eyes of Dartz.

Alister stared down at his stew, sure he could see the bits that weren't his, but the Australian kid across from him. "I don't think I want to eat this anymore..."

Dartz angry gaze swept over the table to the redhead, narrowing into slits. The effect was like a very pissed feline, especially with the two different colored eyes and sleek white hair. "You have better finish eating that! The last time you tried to starve yourself was when that stupid muscle belly shirt didn't fit! And I'm won't allow ANYONE to faint in a duel just so they can wear a stupid shirt!"

"It isn't stupid!"

"IT IS TOO! NOW EAT!"

Still feeling disgusted, Alister reluctantly went about spooning food into his mouth. He was so sure that he could sense Valon's saliva in there... ugh... He muttered his disapproval, but continued on. The last time he had protested for too long, Dartz had made him duel some old geezer in a tutu... Shudder complete with the tights, shoes, and a little crown. It. Was. Embarrassing.

Nodding, Dartz abruptly turned back to Valon, as the stew had started to fly again. "SLOW DOWN OR I'LL BANISH YOU TO THE OTHER END OF THE TABLE!" he roared, neatly stopping the brunette. "AND STOP MUTTERING!" Alister sniffed, but said nothing else.

Valon meanwhile sighed and, once again, tried to eat the stew slowly. But its charm won over him again... and the fork lowered and lifted up and down faster and faster and faster...

"VALON!"

Rafeal glanced once among his fellow duelists, picked up his plate and got the heck out of the room. Dartz was beyond pissed now- any little idiosyncrasy of their's that he didn't like would earn its owner a punishment... and Rafeal didn't even want to THINK about the last time...

* * *

Flashback:

"This was why I suggested to skip the stew, fool."

"Ew! He got some in MINE!"

"I never knew stew flew at that velocity before..."

"Valon! If you don't slow down your eating, I'll banish you to the other end of the table!"

* * *

End of flashback.

"Can I leave now?" Alister asked, wincing as another stew bit flew past his head. "He's starting to fling his food at the wall now. And that's only his second serving..."

Dartz growled down at the table, eyes glued longingly on the stew that he hadn't gotten to even TOUCH yet. "No... you... can't..."

"Why not?"

The whiny tones pushed the wrong buttons. "BECAUSE I SAID SO, SO THERE!" An especially large blob of stew flung through the air to splatter on Dartz's forehead. He was quiet until the said blob started to drip down his nose. Nearly shaking with rage, he slowly used his napkin to wipe off the stew and just as slowly got up from the table. "I'll... be... back... And no- you still can't leave..."

Alister rolled his eyes and dropped back into his chair with an exasperated sigh. He turned to the oblivious Valon and muttering various complaints.

"AND STOP MUTTERING!" The door slammed shut, leaving a very shocked and chastised Alister and a bingeing Valon.

* * *

Rafeal whistled an old melody his mother used to sing to him at night as he worked on scrubbing out the pot used to make the stew. The recipe had also come from his parents- and it always worked wonders. Especially on Valon, although that wasn't an effect that was usually sought after- mostly it was to mend tears and get rid of worries. And it worked every time.

The door to the kitchen swung up and shut, over and over again. Rafeal turned to the newcomer, ready for anything.

"Stupid hinges... never shuts or opens quietly... over and over- stupid squeaking!" Dartz swung the door open again and then slammed it shut particularly hard, rattling the pots on the shelves next to him. His angry gaze swept around the room till it rested on the shocked Rafeal, crouched in a defensive position. "You might want to get that pot back under the water, Rafeal- and the kitchen gloves too. The water and soap's messing up my floors."

Recovering himself, the muscled duelist did as he was told, feeling very, very foolish. He waited for his boss to say something else, but nothing else came from the white-haired duelist. Rafeal was almost done with washing the pot COMPLETELY when Dartz whipped open a drawer right at the blond's elbow.

"Aha!" Dartz whipped out whatever he had been looking for out of the junk drawer, holding aloft, as though it were precious treasure.

"That's not gonna fix the door, boss," Rafeal muttered, forgetting the pot for a moment. "Oil would, but not duct-tape."

"No," Dartz agreed, eyes sparkling, "but it will allow me a peaceful meal." He left Rafeal with that thought to ponder over and left the room, starting to whistle himself.

* * *

Dartz opened the door to the dining room to a scene of... chaos. The walls were splattered with globs of various sizes of stew, which would have made the decorator of the room run in terror. Brown dots did not mix with rose pink wallpaper. Not even the overhead chandelier or the ceiling had been saved- forget the framed paintings. The causes of this mess came from a still eating and unsplattered Valon and a ducking while retaliating Alister. The redhead tried to balance a napkin up over his face while aiming and flinging blobs of gravy at the brunette. His aim, however, was terrible. The table, Dartz noticed, was also an unflattering mess.

"I HATE STEW AND I HATE HOW YOU EAT IT, YOU... YOU... AUSSIE! I'LL GET YOU, I'LL GET YOU! I'M MISSING MY FAVORITE SHOW!" Alister was beyond ranting... he was close to crossing the thin borderline of sanity to insanity.

Valon glanced up once to Alister, dim pain in his blue eyes. "That was uncalled for, mate. I'm jest eatin' here- you can leave if ya want to." So saying, the 'aussie' went back to eating.

"I AM NOT YOUR MATE, MATE!" Alister cried back, flinging an especially large blob of gravy with almost no aim at all. It splattered against the wall, two feet away from Dartz head. "Huh? Oh! Boss! Please, please, please! Let me go! I'm missin' my show!" Emotionally wrecked, the redhead dropped his head into his hands and began to sob out the characters' names that he loved oh so dearly... "And beautiful Amara... stupid Serena... silly Mina... kinda cute but way too bad tempered Rei..."

"Michelle is much cuter than any of those blokes you jest mentioned," Valon paused his munching for the shortest of times. He was back to his food just as another stew missile hit Alister in the head.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU!"

Dartz slowly circled the room till he right behind an oblivious brunette. Taking the end of tape, he ripped off a good long piece. Ignoring the stew that hit him, he timed the approach and covered up Valon's mouth easily. Clearly distressed, the brunette tried to get through the tape with a laden fork, eyes starting to tear.

Ignoring the employee's pain, Dartz ripped off another piece and taped Valon's arms to the chair. He considered stopping there, but then taped his feet to the chair legs, finding this way too much fun to just stop there.

Alister, meanwhile, was watching with a much calmer attitude, although he still sniffed now and again. As Dartz approached him, Alister started in on his pleas, "Please boss, pleeaase let me go- I need to see Sailor Moon! And Mars... and Mercury... Thank you for stopping Valon- I'll do whatever you want, just please!" He was stopped just as effectively as Valon with a slap of tape over his mouth.

* * *

"Rafeal?"

The sound of his name almost made the large bloke jump. He had thought he was alone in the hallway... but apparently not. "Yes, sir?" Rafeal replied, using the most respectable tone he knew. Dartz did not sound too happy...

"I request your presence downstairs in the dining room. Bring something to eat, if you want."

* * *

"Umm... yes, sir," Rafeal spun on his heel as soon as he knew that Dartz had finished talking in whatever he was using. Stupid lighting- why couldn't these hallways be brighter!

Dartz smiled to himself as he hid the walkie talkie under his robe. Using a system of walkie talkies through the entire building was ingenious- especially when the hallways are as dark as they are. His gaze turned onto the now squirming Alister and Valon. Both looked worse for wear. Dartz had meant to stop with just tying their limbs to the chairs, but the thought of mummifying them was just to pleasing to be pushed aside... especially when he was also bored.

The door opened quietly and shut just as quietly behind the nervous muscled duelist. Dartz smiled, making the newcomer even more nervous. "Welcome back, Rafeal- we missed you. Right, boys?" Muffled replies met the two duelists. "Anyways... would you like a seat?"

"Umm..."

"Nonsense! Sit, sit!" gesturing elaborately to the chair next to Alister, Dartz all but physically guided Rafeal to his chair. The blond nodded a greeting to the redhead and turned to back to Dartz. His eyes widened a little as his boss approached him, a half roll of duct-tape in hand. "Now... let's see... what was it that I was going to say..? Hmmm... oh never mind... I can't think of it. Oh well."

RRRRRIIIIIPPPPP!

* * *

"Well now, aren't we all happy now?" Dartz said all to perkily, swallowing another mouthful of stew. "Ugh, this is cold... Oh well... I'll be back!" He stood up with his plate in hand and left the room to find the microwave.

Valon gazed longing after Dartz, and then to his stew. He knew that it was getting cold, too... it didn't smell as good as before... and the gravy was hardening too... Sniff. Now it wouldn't taste like mommy's stew before it was rehydrated and warmed up. Sniff.

Alister silently- how could he make ANY coherent noise under the layers of duct-tape over his mouth- cried, thinking of the Sailor Scouts he had missed. His hair wasn't going to be the same either- Dartz had made sure of that.

Rafeal, meanwhile, tried yet again to get in a comfortable position in his chair. Dartz had duct-taped him into the chair as he was trying to fend the sticky wrappings off, and as a consequence, he was now duct-taped with hands in the air and legs near Alister's head. Boy, they couldn't wait for this bit of insanity to wear off so they could be cut out of this little bit of humiliation...

* * *

So sorry for making Valon sound more Yugi-ish than he obviously is, but... well, I did. Please review! Suggestions are also welcome, but I'm warning you now that I might not use them, so don't be cross. 


	2. Butt Wars

I'm back. Yet again. Yeah. Well... Thank you Shrilanka-San for reviewing- and I like your idea. However, I already wrote this chapter before, and it follows with the non plot I have... so I'll try to bring it in in another chapter. I like your idea! evil smile Okay, so enjoy!

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Part Two: Socks and Butt Wars

Disclaimer: Never owned Yu-Gi-Oh! and never will.

"HIYAH!" cried out Alister in a high-pitched voice few thought he'd be able to make, swinging a red dog toy through the air. The toy hit a tied up bunch of socks and landed onto the floor, rolling about a foot away from his knees.

"How many more do I have to get by you?" Valon asked, catching the socks Alister tossed over. He was leaning against the living room sofa, contemplating where to throw the socks next.

Alister repositioned himself in a batter's stance, holding the dog toy by its legs. Technically, it was shaped as Mickey Mouse's trousers- complete with the buttons. However, they all called it by its proper name: Mickey's Butt. "Two more."

Valon frowned, tossing the socks through the air. Alister predictably swung to hit it, but it fell short and bounced behind him. "I thought it was only once more."

"Well, now it is."

Rafeal looked up from behind his magazine, frowning himself. "Are you guys playing that stupid game again?"

"Yeah, so?" Alister swung again, and predictably missed. With a growl he exchanged items with Valon.

With a shake of his head, Rafeal turned back to his article. "Nothing."

The socks fell onto the floor a foot away from Valon's knees. "Hmm," the brunette mused to himself, fixing his grip on the butt, "I think the butt's losin' its fluff."

* * *

In the large confines of his business office, Dartz rested comfortably back into a high-back chair. In front of him sat a computer, which was currently keeping itself occupied by uploading a virus in the mainframe of Kaiba Corp.'s computer. Smiling wickedly, Dartz's eyes flicked to the security screens from cameras all over the building. In the one closest to him, his three minions were hitting back and forth a pair of socks while one sat and read yet another motorcycle magazine.

But Dartz's wasn't fooled. Even though his brain couldn't figure out WHY they had a dog toy when there was no DOG, he wasn't distracted... no... He could tell by the way Valon swung the dog toy and hit the socks that they were planning something... They were planning to get back at their own boss. sniff

Not that they were going to get the chance. Nope- Dartz had a plan of his own. And it involved the new items he had purchased this morning...

* * *

"Alister! Come up here at once- now!" Dartz's drawling voice came over into the room. The inhabitants jumped at the suddenness of its arrival and landed in one large pile. Naturally, poor Alister was stuck at the bottom.

Muffled groans and cries was barely heard under the bulks of Valon and Rafeal. The two received punches and kicks in the gut as Alister made his protesting more... vocal. "Thank you for getting off of me," Alister mumbled, ignoring the groans from his colleagues, "I'm going upstairs now." With a swipe at a bit of dust that had collected at the collar of his trench coat and Alister stalked out of the room.

Valon was the first to roll over from his stomach to his back. "And I thought that sissy couldn't 'urt a fly..," he muttered. For the first time in forever, the aussie wished he hadn't eaten lunch. It just made him feel more nauseous after being punched in the stomach. "Ugh... I don't feel so good..."

The large blond mumbled something and stretched as far as he could with his fingertips to get at his magazine. He knew he wasn't going anywhere for awhile- unlike Valon, he had gotten his share of Alister's punches before and he was used sort of to the after effects- and he might as well make himself as comfortable as possible.

* * *

Alister opened the door to Dartz's office slowly, unsure at what he would find. He figured he could deal with grinning skulls dripping wax from candles, skeletons, hanging off of chains on the walls, webs and all other manner of ghoulish items- but not this. Not the neat business desk with every part neat and orderly, the clean white carpet or even the pale blue walls.

Dartz himself lounged in his high-back chair, headphones draped elegantly over his head, the wire leading to a cd player on the desk. His head bopped in time with he music, hair becoming even more of a mess. The song didn't last long and Alister was shortly waved in. He motioned to a chair facing the desk, but Alister shook head- he wasn't about to sit down in another chair in front of his boss. Not after what happened last time, no way Jose.

"You said you wanted me, sir?" the redhead asked politely.

Dartz smiled, removing the headphones in a graceful move. So this was their plan of revenge- to act polite and drive him crazy? Well it wasn't going to work! "That's right- I did." Taking his time getting into a more comfortable position and straightening his hair, Dartz drawled on, "I was wondering what the effect of glue and feathers would do to oneself. It'd be heck on hair, I know... but..."

"Hm... I'm sure it'd be heck on one's clothing and skin too," Alister added quietly. He didn't know where this was going, but it didn't sound too good... and as if the mere mention of such torturing items weren't enough- then the sudden twinkle in the white-haired man's eyes were.

Dartz nodded eagerly, "Yes- I figured that. Common sense. But you see, I just wanted to be sure that my instincts were right. Do you understand?"

"Uh- of- of course..."

"Good. Catch!"

A medium-sized jar was thrown by Dartz and was barely caught by a started Alister. The top was apparently loose, as it had flown off, allowing its contents to spill out. The gooey material coated Alister's face, hair and basically every part of him from the waist up. A good portion, however, dripped down to his pants.

"Nice catch. Try this!" Dartz cried out again, flinging a large bunch of feathers fist full after fist full after fist full at Alister. By the time he was done, Alister looked like a rainbow-colored turkey. "Okay- when it's dry tell me how it was trying to get it all out- I'm curious, you know."

Just short of crying- the poor neat freak knew it was going to take forever a very painful forever to get all of the glue and feathers off- Alister made his slow, forlorn way out of the office.

* * *

"HYAH!"

Rafeal flipped a page in his magazine, even though he couldn't remember having completely read and understood the article on the last page. Ever since Alister had went up to his room after denying Valon a rematch fist fight although really, a punch in the stomach wasn't much of a fight, Valon had been 'practicing.' Or, as Rafeal put it, annoying the heck out of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room with him.

"HYAH!"

With a sigh, Rafeal dropped the magazine to the floor. No reading for him today, apparently. He watched as the brunette kicked the rolled up socks into the air and went about keeping it up in the air by way of kicking it and/or punching it. "Is that how you practice fighting..?" the blond muttered.

Valon caught the socks in one hand. "Well, Dartz almost killed me the one time I tried to practice against one o' you two." Throwing it back up, he muttered to himself- sort of, he did shoot a teasing glance at Rafeal at one point - "And ya think he'd be glad that I tried to teach ya both some moves... pansies."

"Oh really?"

And after a challenge like that- sort of- how could they refuse the chance to beat each other's brains out?

* * *

Dartz giggled to himself as he watched the unfortunate Alister dump his feathered clothes in the laundry hamper. Having just come out of the shower, the redhead had plenty of time to lose the unhappy face and get peeved. Glaring at anything around him- which wasn't much, just a washing machine and dryer- Alister stalked out of the laundry room to the outside hallway, an unknown feather fluttering in the air off of a lock of hair.

_Kaiba would be laughing his head off, _Dartz decided on, remembering Alister's obsession to beat Seto Kaiba. His eyes flickered to the screen next to where Alister was in, and caught sight of Valon giving Rafeal a nuggy. _That'll give Rafeal a long time to fix. Hmmm... maybe I could change his hair get with some glue... _The blond finally got a grip on the Australian and proceeded to give him a nuggy of his own. _Maybe I'll do that to Valon's hair gel. It'd be amusing to see him have his hair down after finally getting the glue out- heh, he'd look like a shepherd dog! _

Nah... better stick to the plan. With a sigh- evil ideas just wouldn't stop popping into his head- Dartz flipped the loudspeaker switch to on.

* * *

"Rafeal, a word with you please, if you don't mind."

The blond paused for the briefest of seconds, even though Valon was squirming in his grip and almost getting loose, and sighed again. Geez, their boss never let them have any fun... Letting Valon fall to the floor- and ignoring the protests- Rafeal left the room to go 'have a word' with his boss.

* * *

Five minutes later and the poor guy was running- not shuffling, like Alister had- but RUNNING to his room, in fear that either Alister or Valon would see him. He didn't even want to fathom what the two would say if they saw him like this... No... better not chance it.

* * *

"Run, Rafeal, run!" Dartz cried out in the empty room, flinging his arms up like an obsessed football fan. A large bowl of popcorn sat in his lap, half empty. Some of its contents fell to the floor at the motion. Oh, it was soooo much fun to shock him using that old buzzer of his. And then glitter his hair- it had even spiked from the electricity! Poor Rafeal, his life will never be the same after trying to smooth down three inch spikes of hair full of glitter that gets on EVERYTHING.

Now... for the Australian...

* * *

Valon tossed the socks up into the air and deftly caught it again. Both of his friends had confined themselves into their rooms, ignoring all insults, challenges, the likes. Not even Mai was around! sniff

Immensely bored, the brunette rolled over onto his side, flipping through the pages of Rafeal's discarded magazine. Why Rafeal bothered with the motorcycle articles at all- although the maintenance ones were useful, the rest were annoying- when the good parts were in the middle was beyond him.

"Valon- you're turn."

With a sigh- this magazine had much better pictures than the others Rafeal had collected over the centuries- Valon clambered to his feet and walked his slow bored way to Dartz's office.

* * *

In a record time, the brunette was rushing back into his room, unbeknowstly like Rafeal. Unlike his colleague, however, Valon was seeing red around the edges; Dartz was going to pay for this.

* * *

He. Was. Going. To. Pay...

Dartz replaced his headphones over his sleek white hair, the melody already playing. _Ah, Beethoven... such a sweet, calming melody after torturing rebels..._ He thought unconsciously, thinking over the various schemes he had accomplished in this short day... Glue and feathers... electricity... and humiliation mixed with glitter and nail polish.

Smiling evilly, Dartz tried to blow dry his nails that Valon had all too graciously painted on for him... after trying to demonstrate on his own hands and feet...

* * *

I'd like to also mention that I used stuff from Mickey Mouse, and I sure don't own that either. Okay... yeah... Oh, and I'm sorry that the tortures weren't so grand, but... I kinda ran out of nonthreatening but humiliating ideas. Please review- I love gettin' em! 


	3. Re Hic! Venge!

Okay... some thanks to dole out: Thank you everybody for reviewing! I'm stopping with the personal Thanks, cause I'm not getting them... I think somebody is deleting them, so I'm just going to say thanks from now on. Anyways... This thing is not cooperating with me today... so **Bold P**means that its in parantheses and the curses- originally they were stared out, but... that didn't work- are **Bold C's.**Thank you for understanding. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Three: Re- Hi- venue 

Warning: Underage drinking.hence the **P**hiccups in the title**P**

Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I don't own anything from Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, then I think I'd know about it by now, don'tcha think?

* * *

"Remind me again why I'm here?" Alister drawled, watching an enraged Valon pace back and forth in front of him and Rafeal. There had been very few times that the redhead had seen Valon this upset before; the last time had been when someone had hung up his baby blanket which he still can't fall asleep without it in front of Mai Valentine's room. To put the entire past in a short summary- the fists had flown and Valon had ended up locked up in a closet to keep him from killing someone. 

Beside him, Rafeal looked back down at the list of items Valon had told him to write down. Normally he wouldn't have bothered- Valon should write down his OWN lists- but the last time he had seen that look in the brunette's eye... no, better not go back to that... Among these items were:

1. Maple Syrup- the really sticky kind

2. Duct tape

3. Stew

4. Glitter

5. Nail polish

6. Donuts

7. Large case of Budweiser- very, very, very, very large.

With a list like that, it almost made you wonder what kind of disciplinary schools Valon had attended...

Speculation was kept to a minimum- not that Rafeal was one for quick thinking- as Valon had started to answer. "He must pay... Don't you want to get back at him!"

The brunette's blue eyes locked with Alister's gray eyes, daring him to say anything outside of 'Yes, Valon- whatever you say.' The redhead shrugged, "Well yeah, Valon- but what are we going to do with maple syrup for crying out loud?"

"Dunk his head in it. What else is that sugary **CCCC **for!"

Blink, blink. "Uh... okay..," Rafeal muttered, trying his best to ignore the curse his mother would use the classic soap punishment for every time he cursed as a kid, "What's the nail polish for then?"

The Australian snatched the paper out of the blond's hands and resumed his pacing. "Since you two pansies won't do anythin' till I explain every stinkin' item... Duct tape: mummifying material. Glitter: humiliation purposes. Nail polish: 'cause I fel' like it. Stew, Donuts and beer: I'm hungry and thirsty."

"You drink beer?"

"Don't you, Alister?" Valon countered, throwing the paper back in Rafeal's hands.

The redhead glanced from Valon to Rafeal, shrugged and replied, "Guilty." The blond's eyes widened in surprise- it was like learning your father was a serious alcoholic when all he's every drank in front of you was one glass of vodka and a small one at that- until he remembered where he was last Saturday night after losing to that pipsqueak duelist. **P**Blue Hound Paw booze wasn't bad, but the Red Devil's was better- if more expensive.**P**

"Thought so. Hey Rafeal- you're over twenty one, right?"

Rafeal nodded. No use to arguing- it was decided who'd get the beer now. "Do we have all these supplies here, or should I pick those up too?" he asked instead, tucking the paper into his jacket pocket.

Smiling as evilly as their employer was the day before although they didn't know that, really..., Valon kicked over a cardboard box, spilling its contents onto the floor. All but the food and beer was there. "Nah... just those snacks, if ya don't mind. Alister and I'll set up the trap while yer out. We'll get that white-haired SO **CCCCC**at 'bout five. Don't be late; we're not waitin'."

"I'll be back before then," the blond replied as he left. He didn't get much attention from the other two, as Alister was concentrating on the badly drawn diagram Valon had created.

* * *

Feeling much less paranoid than he was the day before, the white-haired SO** CCCCC**was lounging in his chair, trying to ignore his pounding head. When the bartender said that a certain drink was going to throw you over the edge, he meant it. Or so Dartz had found out. 

Suffering from the worst of all hangovers, it wasn't too much of a surprise that he didn't notice that one of the screens was fuzzy, then a total blank. Instead, he found staring at his beast's light in the sky much more entertaining and soothing to watch...

* * *

Enjoying the feeling of slapping duct tape over the camera's lenses, Alister slapped an unnecessary bit of the gray tape again. True, it shouldn't be able to see anything now... but... well- it's fun. "Done. You?" 

Valon's eyes skimmed over the system of wires to various buckets and the such with an evil smile stretched over his face. "Yep. Let's go see if Rafeal's back yet- I'm thirsty."

"Sounds good to me," Alister replied.

* * *

"Thish ish goo'," Valon was beyond the point of sloshed. To his right, there was two Rafeal's sipping at a beer- slowly, the pansy- and on the other side was twin Alister. If only Mai was here... he could deal with two of her... "Wha' kind ish i'?" 

Rafeal glanced down at the drunk brunette and then over at the equally drunk redhead. He knew he was going to regret this morning for a while- if Dartz didn't see to that, then when the sober and hung over Valon would. And if not Valon or Dartz- then Alister. Either which way, he knew he was going to get it the next day. "Budweiser- just like you asked for, Valon."

"I' sh goo'..," he repeated. "Wha' time ish i', Alis'e?"

On the other side, the redhead cracked open an eye, instantly slamming it shut as the light bored its way through to the back of his head. Ouch. He lifted a very, very, very heavy arm up as high as he could towards his face and once again tried to see beyond the back of his eyelids. Nope. Not happening.

"Don' kno'," Alister replied, letting the lead arm fall. Ugh... this was why drinking was bad. "Y'u, Raf'al?"

"About... five," the blond answered. It was a blessing that he still had control over his hand-eye coordination skills, because Valon tried to jump to his feet, and predictably overbalanced. He was spared having an even more awful headache the next day as Rafeal had caught him. Sort of.

Valon struggled to his feet, and once again tried out his shot coordination skills as he tried to kick out at Alister... and succeeded in falling over after knocking over empty Budweiser bottles. "Wa'e up, Alis'e! We hav'ta ge' Da'tz!"

Alister moaned and slowly shook his head. "Do I hav'ta o'en my eyes...?"

"YESH! Are wesh men o' a'e we MISHE **P**translation: Mice**!P"**

Glad that Valon's struggling skills wasn't up to par at the present, Rafeal wrestled the Australian back to the ground. "Valon- you really aren't in any condition to move around."

"Rafe'l- pleashe don' yell in my e'r..," Valon moaned, waving a hand in Rafeal's face. In turned out that the blond couldn't avoid the hand and hold onto the brunette at the same time, so he let him go. "Le'sh go!" By pure luck he got to his feet and started to walk down the hallway... predictably running into a wall.

Alister, meantime, sighed and struggled to his feet. Eyes narrowed to slits and feeling rather nauseous, he followed after Valon... also running straight into a wall. _Oh boy, _Rafeal gathered his two drunk friends under his arms and started to drag them- forget about trying to lead them anywheres now- towards where Valon- when he had been sober, but dying for the beer- had pointed out the trap. _I really am going to regret this... _

* * *

Dartz turned around another corner, eyes carefully searching around for the three teenagers. Crumpled up in his hand was a very wrinkled up piece of paper. and no, not all of the wrinkles came from being rudely crunched up in one hand. It seems that his three employees had let Valon try to fold a piece of paper in half again. Fools. Unbelievably, there was about fifteen different creases that Valon had created before either Rafeal or Alister took it out of his hands and folded it themselves. 

When will they ever learn?

_Never, _Dartz answered for himself. No one was down here, although there was- for whatever reason- quite a few wires hanging off the walls and ceilings. Funny, he didn't order anyone to change the wiring... Never mind. Not important. With a sigh he strode down as fast as he could- might as well get this little 'meeting' with those stupid duelists over with.

* * *

"Hic. Hic. Hic. Hic." This had been going on for the past... five minutes. Knowing full well that Valon would kill him if he had let Dartz escape the trap because of Alister hiccuping, Rafeal had unslung the redhead and propped him up against a wall as best as possible. Which, considering that the floor was, for whatever reason, always nice and slippery and that the walls had that sort of annoying quality as well, wasn't too easy. As of now, the redhead was more or less sprawled out over the floor. 

It was too bad that the blond didn't have a camera- he could blackmail the two of them for forever.

Valon was leaning against the wall, face screwing up in annoyance at every hiccup coming from the drunken Alister. "Fo' the lothe o' migth,translation: For the love of might" he muttered, swaying uneasily around to glare down at the redhead, "Cou' you shuth him upth?" Losing his balance, his shoulder slammed into the wall and he slid to the floor. "Wa'e me up in the mo'ning... mummy..."

Rafeal glanced between the two of them and shook his head. It was times like these- fortunately they were pretty rare- that Rafeal wondered whether the two of them had enough to drink... Bending over, he shook Valon 'awake,' which meant that he got a glare and a mumbled curse. "I wan'ta slee'..."

"Do you want to get Dartz back or not, pansy?" Rafeal growled- enough of all this, using the insult that would surely wake Valon up. Hopefully.

His hopes were rewarded, as the brunette's blue eyes narrowed and he tried to straighten up... with no avail. Inwardly smiling, the blond helped the brunette back up and placed the string in his hand. "Well, go on!" Rafeal gestured to the string, trying to get the brunette from glaring at him. Plus, if Valon pulled the string, then Rafeal wouldn't immediately be placed under blame of what would surely befall Dartz...

"Pan'y my sh," Valon muttered, barely staying up on his feet long enough to pull the string. Buckets clanged and cries were heard from around the corner. "THE MISH WINTH AGAIN!" With everything done and said for, the Australian passed out, falling heavily against Rafeal. Deciding that this would be the worst time to hang around for Dartz to find him, Rafeal slung Valon over his shoulder and picked Alister back up. As fast as he could he headed back for Valon's room, where- ironically, the least bits of incriminating evidence was. Plus the beer.

* * *

Dartz, meanwhile, stared down at the mess of the newly cleaned floors, feeling an old disgust surge through his system. Alister wasn't the only neat freak- Dartz was one of the worst in the book. And this mess... Grrr.. WHO WAS GOING TO CLEAN THIS UP! 

And his robe- forget it. The edges will never hang like they used to over his shoes ever again... EVER! With a 'Hmpth!' the white-haired man turned around and headedback to his office, where he could order one of the employees to clean the mess up. It would take them awhile to clear that mess up with all of those syrups, feathers and glitter... And, knowing Valon, they'd probably get doused in the stuff from some fight or another.

With a smile, he unslung the mike to the overhead system to get all three of them on the job immediately. It was certainly a good thing that it was only the edges of his robe that got messed up- otherwise he'd have to burn the whole thing.

* * *

So you see that underage drinking is bad. If you can't fulfill your plans of revenge while you're intoxicated, why bother? Oh, and thank you for understanding. I'm going to try and see what I can do than just bold P's and C's. Anyways... Please review! 


	4. Maydey, Mail is Going Down, repeat, Mail...

Time to bring in the goody-goody two shoes... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I mess a little bit with the time line and story line. Sort of. Don't hurt me, please. Oh- and why is Alister watching Sailor Moon? I don't know... Just seemed like a good idea at the time... OH! And I owe Shirlanka-San for this idea. Told ya I'd use it! Thanks!

* * *

Part Four: Mayday, Mayday... The Mail is Going Down- Repeat, the Mail is Going Down...Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or the Post Service. Or Alice in Wonderland. tiny reference Or anything else except what I DO own.

* * *

Clang! Shuffle... shuffle... shuffle... Rusty squeak. Sort through papers... Clang! Shuffle... shuffle... shuffle...

Dang wind! Abandoning the bag at slung over his shoulder and bouncing against his hip, Alister grabbed onto the hat worn only by those working in postal service. Dartz, the tightfisted clod, didn't pay them enough, so the three of them were forced to do other meaningless, humiliating jobs.

The wind died down and he continued on walking down the sidewalk to- thankfully- the last street. And there was only two more houses left... Smiling, for various reasons, Alister filled another mailbox full of various sizes of magazines, bills, and who know's what else. At least he didn't have Valon's or Rafeal's half-time job. Somehow, cleaning restaurant restrooms or take down snooty customer's orders in a fast food place wasn't his idea of fun.

Of course... neither was this. Being chased and ridiculed by kids or/and yapping dogs hardly bigger than one's fist was no treat.

Yes! The last house! With a triumphant, clang, the redhead hurried as fast as his aching feet would go back to the mail office where he could rid himself of the stupid canvas bag and the uniform and do some real fun... like dueling... or trapping Kaiba in an Orichalcos Seal... Or at the very least hide the uniform away before the other two got out of work.

* * *

Finally he left! And about time, too.

Typing in the order, Valon couldn't help but let his mind wander to what he'd love to do to this place... and its customers. It was actually a wonder that he had kept this job for as long as he had. "Excuse me. Hey- excuse me!"

Whipping the paper hat back over his head- dang thing NEVER stayed in one place for long- Valon glared at the annoying kid. "What?" he hissed. This shift was taking far too long. Much longer than he was used to, anyways.

"Well, geez! You don't have to be so RUDE!" The girl replied loudly, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the fast food place. She shook her head to clear her face of brown hair and she matched the brunette's glare with her own. "Anyways- I'd like to order."

"Alright... And what do you want? Girly." A fellow coworker and cashier shook his head- their boss was going to kill Valon if he didn't learn to keep his comments to himself.

The girl's blue eyes narrowed to a slit. "What did you call me?" she hissed.

"Are you goin' to order o' not?"

Gesturing to four guys behind her- one brunette, two blondes- the girl answered 'simply,' "Four cheeseburgers- two no mustard, one without pickles, and one without both, three cokes, one diet coke and four french fries. Got all that?"

"Four cheeseburg'rs, four cokes an' four fries. Yep. Go' it," Valon replied, receiving glares from the four kids. "I'll be back in a moment- thank you for your... loud patience." Enjoying the protests- loudest coming from the girl, he turned to the kitchen workers... to find his enraged boss behind him.

"A word... Valon- if you please," Mr. Rhiney growled, eye visibly twitching.

"But Mr. Rhiney! I hav' ta fill the orders!" Valon protested. "An' you said the other day that the customers come first. Ain't that right? Hey, Bri'n- you remember, don'tcha? Right?"

"Brian can fill the orders for you. Now c'mon, kid." Just short of being physically guided to the manager's office, Valon was half guided, half pushed, to the office.

* * *

There was no way he was going anywhere near it. No way. Never in his life would he go into stall number three- where the worst that needs to be cleaned is always there.. Sorry, I can't find any better way to say that.

With a sigh, Rafeal reluctantly opened the door to the restroom stall. Thankfully, this was the last one. If the worst to clean. Adjusting the rubber gloves and mask over his face, the blond took the one bold step needed to finish with his shift.

* * *

The little pep talk went by quickly- thank goodness. He might not have his job the next day... but... oh well. Whistling his way back to his post- exchanging insults and witty comments with his boss always got him back in a good mood- Valon couldn't help but overhear the conversation of his last group of customers... Or should he say the girl's..?

"Honestly, Yugi- do you really think that Pegasus wishes us well?" The girl asked, taking a sip of her non-diet coke.

The shortest of the four- Yugi ,and hence the one that kept Valon's attention, shrugged and answered, "Why would he want us over at Illusion Headquarters for any other reason than to help us with this... problem..?"

"To try capt'ring our souls hisself?" the other blond muttered. The brunette next to him shivered at the thought.

Yugi rolled his eyes. "I don't think he's going to try."

"Besides, Joey, Yugi beat him once before, he can do it again!" The girl chirped, giving Yugi a warm glance that almost made him go completely red in the face. "So don't get too worried. Tristan- get yer hands AWAY from my French fries!"

_They're going to see Pegasus! Ha! That bloke's already been takin' care of! _Valon thought triumphantly to himself, adding a few snickers for the evil effect. The couple in front of the cashier looked at him warily and finished saying their order in record time- just to get away from him. _But Wheeler... 'Ere- Perfect! _

"So we'll be meeting him tomorrow morning at eight? And then leaving at noon again?"

_Heh?_

"Yep, so we should be there by seven-thirty. So try and wake up on time for once, Joey," Yugi replied dryly, ignoring the look on Joey's face.

"Seven-thirty, Yug? But I nevuh get up before noon!"

Hm. That's a problem. Valon didn't get up before noon himself. "Cost is five sixty, please," he muttered absentmindedly, trying to get this little problem fixed. "Le's see... If I use a wrench- 'ere's yer change, 'ave a nice day- to sabotage the plane... No... Oh- 'ere's yer order, enjoy. Next!. Whad about Alister..? He's off for today. Hmm... Hmm... AHA! I GO' IT!"

"Uh, sir? Are you goin' to take our order or not?"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Alister looked up from his magazine- or should we say Rafeal's? Strange, the poor guy can hardly keep his magazines under check, huh- as the door to the room slammed open and shut in under three seconds. A very hyper, very pleased with himself Valon stood in front of him, smiling. Somehow, it was that smile that freaked the redhead out.

"What do you want, Valon?"

Valon plopped himself down on the couch next to Alister, smiling like the Chesher Cat all the way. "I 'ave a lit'le proposition for ya, Alister. Want ta 'ear it?"

"What is it?"

Smiling even more, the brunette opened his mouth to reply... and was cut off as the door sounded its slamming battle cry again. "Alister! Your 'boss' wants to talk to you!" a very annoyed Dartz growled, eyes blazing fury. Holding a hand over the receiver end, he continued in a lower voice, "He has called multiple times in the last four hours... Why the # did you give THIS NUMBER!" Still growling, he handed the phone over or should we say, thrusted it into Alister's hands?. "Please make this call short... **_son_**..." With a swish of his hair and Dartz was stalking back to wherever he had been hanging out for the day.

Ignoring the look on Valon's face- and dodging Dartz's swished hair- Alister spoke into the phone, "Hello?"

"Alister?"

"Yep. I didn't forget anything this time, sir, so what it is?"

"Your father didn't sound so good- does he have a cold or something?"

_If only he did,_ Alister thought, but answering instead, "Uh... yeah... a pretty nasty one too."

"Oh. Well, tell him to get plenty of rest."

"I will, sir. But why'd you call?"

His boss on the other side gave a sigh, "Well... you see, Carl's gotten ill- a nasty flu, I'll bet. There's some bug goin' 'round, that's for sure- and I need someone to deliver the out-of-town mail to... Domino City. Normally, I'd have someone else do it... but they're sick too. Or fired. One of 'em."

"Uh-huh..."

"So- can you do it?"

"You want me to go to Domino City- on the other side of the country...?" _What is wrong with you!_ "Uh... for how long..?"

"Only for a day- no longer."

_Yeah, just long enough for Dartz to kill me... _"Do I even have a choice in this?"

"Hmm... Nope! Looks like your goin' to Domino City, kid! Have a blast! Bye now!" Click. Alister held the phone in his hand limply- this wasn't good. If he was lucky enough not to die by Dartz's hands for lying in his mailmen job application over the home phone number and parent/guardian, then he'd die by Dartz's hands for leaving the city when the 'chosen duelists' are here. Great.

"What was that 'son' thing abou'?" Valon ventured, shock slowly, slowly, slowly wearing away. The very thought of Dartz- their BOSS- being a father was... well, disturbing. "Or did you lie on your job application too? Alister? You okay?"

"I'm going to Domino City..."

"Wha'?"

"I'M GOING TO DIE NOW OR LATER WHILE GOIN' # TO DOMINO CITY!"

"Oh... okay..." _I'll take the 'lying on your application,' then... _

* * *

No... there was no way he was going to make it- the fumes... too strong... Ugh... So rationalizing, poor Rafeal passed out, trying to finish his job.

* * *

Twenty minutes after takeoff, and Valon was just starting to consider asking Alister to move over so he could go search for Wheeler. He had been bugging the redhead since they had gotten on and had nearly gotten his head literally bitten off for it. Twice. As of now, he was 'resting his eyes.' Or should one say: 'trying to sleep?'

"Hey, Yug! Lookit that cloud!" The voice broke right through the brunette's thoughts, right to the very core. And echoing... echoing... echoing... echoing... It sounded... familiar...

"Which one, Joey- you already pointed out about twelve..."

Gee, that sounded familiar too... Sliding over towards the window, Valon tried to- successfully- see down part of the aisle. The two voices sounded way too close for their owners' good. Wait... that jacket looks familiar... and so does that hair style... WHEELER!

Valon straightened back in his seat, absentmindedly listening to the rest of the two's conversaiton. How did Wheeler and the Pharaoh manage to get by them without being seen? Nevermind- not important. At least he didn't have to bug Alister anymore.

Punching the back of the seat once to get the blond's attention, the brunette issued the one challenge he'd been waiting for.., "'Ey Wheeler- I challenge you to a duel! Do you accept... or are you a pansy bloke?"

"Wha? Hey!" Clearly annoyed, Wheeler swiveled around in his seat to catch sight of his challenger. "I'm not dueling- leave me 'lone, kid."

"KID!" That easily woke up Alister and alerted Yugi. "Don't you know who I am, Wheeler!" Valon demanded, oblivious to anything else. Even the other annoyed passengers.

Joey winced- that shout went right through one ear and out the other. "No, I don't know and frankly... don't care..."

"Whaddaya mean you don't care! I'm challengin' you 'ere, ya pansy!"

Joey's companion, pulled on his sleeve, easily getting his attention. "Calm down, Joey- no need to make a fuss over a little challenge..."

"Little!"

Alister gave the Australian a frosty glare and growled out, "Will you shut up, Valon, or do I have to use some duct tape?"

Valon jumped a little- ACK! Not that- and asked cautiously, "You don't 'ave any o' that with ya, do you?"

"Do you want to bet?" The redhead held the mailbag aloft slightly, grinning triumphantly. "A mailman's prepared for anything!"

Being one to be oblivious to everything, Joey glanced down at Valon, studying his face. "Hey- aren't you that cashier in Greasy Bob's Cheeseburguh Outlet?"

* * *

"So remind me again why you're sitting with little ol' us?"

Growling- these midgets wouldn't leave him alone- Seto Kaiba finally acknowledged the existence of Tristan by opening his eyes and glaring at him. _NO! They're getting immune to my glare!_ "I'm not going to justify Mokuba's and my own presence here to you. Deal with it and leave me alone."

Tristan made a face- he's starting to compete with Wheeler who's the bigger mutt- and replied, "Geez, you don't have to go all... Kaiba on me."

"And what is that supposed to mean!"

Next to his older brother, and trying desperately to ignore the new argument in a long string of arguments, Mokuba winced. That was a sore spot- Seto loathed being compared to thier stepfather. There was only one chance that he could think of to end this now... "The Blue-Eyes we usually use to travel is broken down, Tristan- that's why we're here."

"Mo...ko...ba..."

"Sorry, bro."

"Sigh"

Tristan's brown eyes flicked back and forth between the two Kaiba brothers and a slow smile stretched across his face. Tea Gardner, who had been up to that point trying to ignore the fight and read her Seventeen magazine, shook her head. Tristan would never leave Kaiba alone when he 'got him on the run.' Which wasn't often. "So... does that mean you two are going to travel with us from now on?"

Muttering various curses in various languages under his breath, Seto Kaiba mumbled something about going to get a walk and left. Leaving Tristan calling after him and both Tea and Mokuba shaking their heads with one common thought in mind: _Immature kids..._

* * *

"Hey Alister... ain't that Kaiba back there?" Valon asked slyly. That ought to keep Alister from duct-taping his mouth shut.

The redhead did a double take in the direction Valon had pointed out, spotting out Seto Kaiba easily. The head of Kaiba Corps. was stalking his way down the hallway, murmuring under his breath. "Here's your duel disk, Valon- enjoy."

Yugi and Joey exchanged glances as the mailman whipped out two strange looking duel disks and handed one to his friend. Kaiba stalked past without a glance down at the four- conversing with Wheeler or Yugi was like talking to two worms; no, make that two DEAD worms- and was followed closely by Alister.

"WHEE!" the two blond's heads swiveled back down to the Australian brunette. Suddenly feeling uneasy, they watched in silence as the guy put the duel disk over his wrist and snapped a deck into the slot. "So, are ya ready, Wheeler? I challenge you to a duel for your soul!"

"Uh..."

* * *

The next part of the plane was almost entirely empty. There was only two stewardesses yammering away over their coffee, barley giving the two a glance. They had already gotten their glares from Kaiba when they first tried to... talk to him... Deciding that they ought to make sure the pilots were still alive, they left the room, leaving it completely open. Bad stewardesses, huh?

"Kaiba!"

The person in question turned around smoothly on his feet. Hmm... the guy didn't look familiar... of course, Seto Kaiba didn't usually bother talking to mailmen... "What do you want?"

Smiling, Alister put his duel disk over his wrist, wishing that the stupid mailbag wasn't necessary for his other job. "I challenge you to a duel- winner leaves with his soul!"

"Go away, you crackpot."

"I'm not a crackpot, Kaiba- this challenge is for real. And your soul is on the line!"

"Don't you think you're enjoying this too much? The answer's no."

"Not even a short duel?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"You're forcing to do something I really don't want to do..."

"Go away."

"You're in for it now!" It was time to put his knowledge of Valon's 'annoy' methods and mail to good use... Ignoring the inconvenience of the duel disk still on his wrist, Alister ducked his hand into the mailbag and came up with some good, thick mail. "Duel me!" With expert aim, he threw one piece, hitting Kaiba in the forehead.

"Ack! What is with you!"

"Duel me!" Another thrown.

"Would you stop that!"

Smiling to himself, Alister dug through the bag's contents for more mail. This was fun! "Beware the bills!"

"That's it! It's war!" Kaiba ducked the bill hurtling at him, and got behind a seat. With a smooth, graceful swoop, he had his deck in his hand, ready to whale the stranger in the head. Wacko. "Go! Hitotsome Giant!"

Alister ducked- barely- and got behind a plane seat himself. "Electricity Bill!"

"Noooooo! Not that!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

"Are you okay?" Struggling back to consciousness, Rafeal opened his eyes to see someone standing over him. Gee, was this embarrassing.

"Um... yeah, I'm fine... Just... fell asleep, I guess," the blond muttered, trying to get up to his feet; they felt like jello.

"Are you sure you're okay? You looked a little green..."

Rafeal nodded his head- his boss was going to kill him for 'sleeping' on the job, although he wasn't exactly asleep- "Yeah.. I'm fine... Uh- if you'll excuse me.." Feeling utterly foolish, the blond gathered up the equipment, preparing to leave. He'd get to this stall tomorrow. Maybe.

* * *

"Yer turn, Aussie," Wheeler muttered, trying to find a more comfortable position. This was getting a bit ridiculous! He just knew that whomever had thought airplane seats up had taken dueling in accountant, and had apparently tried to stop the passengers from dueling...

Valon was just as uncomfortably pinned to his seat like Wheeler was squished between the two chairs. They weren't using any holograms, thank goodness, or else this would be even more uncomfortable... _Hmm... maybe this wasn't such a good idea... _"Al' right then... Take this! I'll play Metal Ar- what in bloody blazin' #!"

"What kind of magic card is that?" Wheeler asked, blinking in surprise. He had figured that Pegasus would at least keep card names G-rated... but no! That drunken idiot. His question was answered as something hit him from behind, making his vision go all wobbly. "Wha- wha was that..?" he got out, before delusion got the better of him and he muttered, "One mo'e minute, mama..."

Yugi glanced down at the heavy yellow paper that had gotten his friend in the back of his head. It looked familiar... it had writing... a stamp... and- and- whatwasitagain- and a return address..? "Hey, Joey- you just got hit in the head by a National Geographic Magazine Envelope!" Yugi cried out, pointing down at the National Geographic insignia. "See! It still has the magazine in it!"

"Wonduhful, Yug... Who threw it?" Awake now, and angry, Joey yanked his duel disk off his wrist and twisted towards the front of the plane again. "All right, who threw that! C'mon! Just try it again, you mangy- HOLY !"

"Joey! You're not supposed to curse on the show- what the #!"

Blinking in surprise- who knew the runt had it in him- Valon hid as more and more National Geographic Magazine envelopes and bills came hurtling at them- and the other passengers, for that matter- from the cut off room in the front of the plane. He had only seen one person with mail get on the plane... and that had been Alister... But why was he flinging the stuff around..?

* * *

His deck had run out of cards long before the mailman had of letters, bills, or even magazines, and so the war now had pieces of mail flinging back and forth between the two of them. Dodging behind the seat as a practically nasty looking magazine hurtled its way toward him, Kaiba moved out towards the aisle a bit to get a piece of badly aimed mail. Stretching his hand out to what seemed like an unadvisable distance when under fire, Kaiba vowed then and there to never get into another fight with a mailman again They. Were. Vicious.

Wincing as his hand was hit, Kaiba withdrew with mail in hand. This guy had good aim with mail... Duel cards were generally Seto's style, but practice with heavier objects couldn't hurt. He threw the mail... and cursed as it curved its way through the air to the room beyond. Cross winds- he hated them.

"You did a good job, Kaiba," Alister called out, feeling a little unhappy. The mail supply was starting to thin out... He smile come back, though, as his hand brushed against the secret weapon of all mail people around... "But now you must face... THE JUNK MAIL!"

"ACK! NOT THAT!"

* * *

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Feeling immensely bored- there was nobody around to torture. Even Rafeal wasn't back yet...- Dartz flipped through the channels of his spell until he found a rather... interesting picture. Valon was dodging bits of small, rectangular objects that were attacking a room full of various people. He was being followed by both First Most Wanted Soul and Second Most Wanted Soul in the entire world, and had yet to turn around and challenge them to a duel. What was wrong with that boy..?

The employee winced his way through to a room off the screen, only to be hurtled back by a very harsh tirade of objects. He crashed into the Pharaoh and the runt's friend, landing- dazed- on top of them.

Soon after that, the Third Most Wanted Soul crashed through, nearly tripping over the pile. In hot pursuit behind him came Alister, dressed in his mailman uniform, winging rectangular object after object, nailing Third Most Wanted Soul every time. He, however, did trip over the pile. Two ladies behind them- both dressed in a similar uniform- were shouting various things after the whole group. They were clearly enraged... and it looked like the fun was just about over...

With a sigh, Dartz let the screen go blank, and he fell heavily into his chair. Those fools. When they got back, they'll be working their butts off for this... humiliation. Flinging rectangular objects after one's opponent was no proper way to get a soul. For one, you had to get them in the head, repeatedly.

His thoughts were interrupted as the door opened, admitting a very tired looking Rafeal. "Sir... the mail came..." He placed the bits of rectangular papers in front of his boss and turned to leave when Dartz got an idea...

It had certainly seemed like fun to Alister... Hmm... "Oh, Rafeal!"

WHACK!

* * *

In case if you didn't understand the Most Wanted Soul Thang, a 'rundown':

First Most Wanted Soul Yugi/ Yami technically the Pharaoh, but since they share the same body

Second Most Wanted Soul Joey

Third Most Wanted Soul Seto

Thanks and please review! suggestions are always welcome, but once again: I might not use them, so don't be cross. But I'd love to get some ideas. hint, hint


	5. Security Breach

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR REVIEWING! The parantheses wasn't working agian... so if something sounds really strange- that's probably why. Ahem... Note: No squirrels were armed in the making of this... chapter.

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own anything that ain't mine, including the Barbie Song

The door to the 'Living Room', or as the only female blond in the entire building called it, the 'Wrestling Room.' Why the wrestling? Mostly because Valon insisted on arguing with everybody on every little thing. And if it wasn't over an argument, then it was over the teasing. Honestly- someday they're going to put a hole in the wall and get killed by Dartz. That'll teach 'em.

Now, however, the room was eerily empty. Not even Rafeal was flipping through the latest motorcycle magazine. Which suited Mai Valentine juuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine. She could easily avoid a certain brunette in this room- not only were there two ways in and out, but you could hear another person coming from a mile away. Smiling to herself, she pushed the door open wider and took a step inside... only to find the carpeted floor rush up towards her face.

"Gotcha this time, Alister! You lose!"

_Why is this happening to me? What did I ever do to deserve this!_ With a growl, the infuriated Mai whipped her attacker off of her and pinned him to the ground. She should have known who'd it be...

"Where the 'ell did you learn that mo... mo..." The stammers slowly died away, unlike the sudden rush of heat to the certain brunette's face. Inches above him, lovely mouth curled up in a sneer, eyes narrowed to slits, was his love. Mai. Oh dear... "Uh-um... Hullo, Mai..."

"Valon," The sound of her voice was just as cruelly beautiful as the look on her face. "What are you doing in here?" Reluctantly, she let the boy go. Cleaning herself off, she left him down on the floor, red as a crayola's red crayon and still stammering incoherent words. "Aren't you goin' to get up?" she asked dryly, enjoying the louder stammers and sudden scurry of limbs as the brunette hurried to get up... Only to fall flat onto his back.

"I, uh... sorry 'bout the uh... um... 'ow are you today, Mai?"

"I've been better," Mai answered with a shrug. She swept her hair back, walking off to get her latest paperback novel off the end table. "And now if you don't mind- I have some reading to catch up to." _That ought to get rid of him for a while._

"Oh! Um... well, look, Mai," Valon scrambled to his feet, hoping to keep her from leaving. He swore he'd do this today and if he didn't.. then he was a pansy. shudder Somehow, he managed to stay up this time, even though his brain wasn't working... "I was- um- jest wondrin'... uh.. jest wondrin' if you'd like to someday..."

_Good God no..._ Mai shuddered inwardly, horrified. He was going to ask her out. Good god... HELP! "I hav'ta go now, Valon- see ya around." Waving a hand over her shoulder at him, she hurried off, ignoring the protests behind him.

Feeling rejected, the brunette watched helplessly as the door slid closed behind her. _What is the matter with me!_ With a sigh, he trudged off towards his room, leaving the Living Room by the other exit. _Idiot, idiot, idiot... _the mental tirade continued keeping time with his shuffling feet. Little details passed by him that would usually have made some difference on any other day... like how the door to his room was open...

"WATCHA!" For the fortieth time that day, Valon found the floor hurtling towards his face- that finally got his attention. And if that didn't, then being pinned to the ground roughly and having his arms being held in an uncomfortable position did.

Gritting his teeth, Valon used any single technique he had learned from years of disciplinary school fights, growling, "Al...is...ter... Gerroff!"

"Don't think so, little Aussie!" Alister let Valon twist anyways he wanted; there was no way he was getting loose. Poor guy needed to learn new tricks- his old ones were easy to counter! "Say Uncle."

"Never!"

"Say it..."

"GRRRR..."

"I know you want to say it... Might as well get it over with..."

Outside the doorway, Rafeal passed by, caught sight of the two wrestling away, shook his head and hurried off again. If they put another hole in the room, Dartz was going to kill them. Heck, Dartz was gonna kill them any day now! He couldn't hold back the odd comment, though, and as he hurried off, he called behind him, "Forget it, Alister! You're not going to get him to give up on anything!"

"That's what you say, Rafeal! This time I got him and he ain't goin'- ugh!" Alister, having been distracted by the blond's helpful comment, caught all of Valon's sudden thrash into his chest. Good-bye air, hello pummeling. Two seconds later, still trying to get his breath back and the Aussie had him pinned to the floor. Drat.

Smiling and feeling much better than two minutes ago, Valon kept Alister's halfhearted struggles to a minimum by holding down his arms. Alister really needed to work on his escape techniques. Really, really, really NEEDED to. "Wha' was it you were sayin', Alister? OH! You wanted to say Uncle, righ'?"

"Va...lon..."

He clicked his tongue and gave a short shake of his head. _Silly boy._ "Say it- you'll be a different shade o' blue, I can tell ya that."

"Back to wrestling already, Valon? Hmph, figures." Leaning against the door frame, paperback in hand, was Mai with that strange half-smile on her face. It was strange... She was going to go read her book outside in the fresh air and think about how to defeat Wheeler, but instead she had come up here... And found Valon and Alister wrestling yet again. Figures- never follow your instincts, they get you no wheres.

"Ah... h-hullo again, Mai," Valon stammered out, facing lighting up like a red street light. I'm trying to stay away from 'red as a tomato' simile "Weren't you goin' ta... uh... read your book?"

Mai lifted the paperback up, smiling widening a bit. Leave it to Valon to be unobservant. "I decided to go to my room instead of outside. Anyways... See ya 'round, honey." With a quick smile and swish of her hair and she was striding off down the hallway. It was so easy to leave like that- and so enjoyable to watch people's faces!

Using the precious moment against Valon like the Australian had used against him, Alister knocked the brunette off of him and onto the floor. "You feeling okay, or has the Mai bug been goin' around again?" Oh, how much fun you could get out of teasing this love-sick puppy! "Well, Valon?"

"Shut up, Alister!"

"Oh! So I'm right then?"

"I'm warning you..."

"Mai and Valon sittin' in a tree- K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes-"

"GRRRR!" One tackle later and the now red with fury Valon was trying unsuccessfully to shut the redhead formerly known as Alister up. The two scrambled around on the floor, one growling like a rabid dog, the other 'singing.' "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

* * *

This has better be good; he's missing his 'free day' for this. Why couldn't have this happened yesterday when the three of them were gone? Honestly- whatever had caused this breach in security should have tried it out yesterday. They would have gotten a nasty surprise, but hey- it would've made more sense.

"Sir!" Dartz glanced over his shoulder to see Rafeal hurrying after him. Now what? He soon found out as the blond finally caught up with him and continued, trying not to make his exhaustion noticeable, "They're saying its dangerous sir. Maybe you should-"

"Oh for crying out loud, Rafeal- how many G.I Joe movies have you been watching lately?" Dartz cut him off quickly- the last time he had let Rafeal suggest something, it had included Jell-O, toothpaste and spam. "Whatever it is, they practically walked in through the front door. How dangerous could it be?"

"Uh, sir... That doesn't make any sense..."

"Just open the door, Rafeal!"

With a sigh the blond did as he was told, awaiting for some blow to come. Nothing. Sunlight streamed in on the two, as did airborne leaves from the gentle wind. Nothing. Growing impatient- or already there- Dartz asked unnecessarily, "Well- where is it?"

"Chi-chi... chi-chi!" The two men looked down at the ground, where, chewing on an acorn, was a little, harmless squirrel. "Chi... chi-chi..."

"A... squirrel broke through the security system?" Dartz needlessly said out loud. "A little... SQUIRREL! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Deeply irritated that HIS TIME was being wasted for a PATHETIC SQUIRREL, Dartz did the utterly unthinkable. He went to kick it.

* * *

The squirrel's dark eyes went wide, but it jumped nimbly out of the strange dark thing's way. The acorn tumbled out of its mouth, and the poor mammal watched it fall onto the dirty, ucky, ground... NOOOOOOOO! 'Chi-chi'ing angrily, the squirrel took an amazing jump into the air... heading straight for the White-haired tall thing.

* * *

Dartz blinked in surprise as the squirrel- annoying thing- jumped straight at his head. It landed onto his chest and began its climb up to his hair. "AIEE! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFFFFFFF!" The tiny claws of the animal skirted over him as the squirrel dodged the hands and clung on to keep from falling.

Finally, his brain clicked into what direction to run screaming in and he took off- leaving a very bewildered Rafeal blinking in the dusty wake. "SQUIRREL! GET IT OFFF! GET IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"

* * *

"Hm? What's that?" Alister held off Valon's punches easily- sort of, he almost got punched in the face at least twenty times- until the Australian slowly stopped, having heard the same shouting as the redhead.

The two exchanged looks as edged slowly towards the doorway. "Whatever it is," Valon started, sticking his head out a little to look down the hallway, "it sounds inhuman. Hey... wha's that?" Something- the something that had been and still was shouting- was rushing at him. Fortunately, everyone's favorite Australian dodged out of view, ramming into Alister on the way back into the safety of the room.

"Hey!" Alister protested as the two tumbled onto the ground. Again "Gerroff, Valon!"

"It- It- It was one o' those monsters Dartz has around all the time!" Valon stammered out, ignoring the redhead's commands. "A nasty one too!"

"The one with the big teeth or the ones with the bad breath and big teeth?" Alister asked sarcastically- it was official. The brunette has finally lost it. "Cause I saw one going around the corner two seconds ago- it had blue eyes, was ironically about your height, and had spiky brown hair also ironically like yours."

"Ve'y funny, Alister- you're killin' me..."

"Unfortunately not fast enough, apparently. Get off."

Valon sniffed, but got up. Someone had to warn Dartz- and that person wasn't lying on the floor. "I know wha' I saw- and I'm reporting this ta Dartz himself. You go ahead and make as many jokes as ya want, Alister- I'm actually goin' ta do my job!"

"And get fired for it? Please- go right ahead."

* * *

Down the hallway, door just as open as Valon's, Mai Valentine reclined on her bed, book open but eyes not reading a single word. Maybe she should lay off on teasing Valon- and quit leading him on. Hmmm...

NAH!

So decided, her eyes flicked back onto the page and actually began to see the words. Good- a step in the right direction. Now... to get Wheeler off of her mind... Hmmm... maybe duct tape his mouth shut- that ought to keep him quiet for a change! Whoa- what is that noise? Purple eyes frowning, Mai placed her paperback down cover up not a good idea, by the way, the spine gets all messed up and walked slowly over to the door. She really needed to move around the furnishings in her room- they kept inconveniencing her.

"AIEEEEEEE! SQUIRREL!"

The white blur that used to be known as the cool, collected Dartz streaked past, limbs flailing, eyes bugging out. The effect would have been hilarious if it wasn't their boss they were talking about.

Shaking her head in disbelief- and trying to refrain from laughing out loud- the blond shut her door closed. She learned her lesson- never keep the door open when 'living' and 'working' with idiots. Oh, and lock the door too.

* * *

Alister watched Valon walk down the hallway, waiting for him to be bowled over by the stampeding blur. That didn't happen, unfortunately, but he did get a small laugh from the paranoid brunette as he checked around the corner before turning. Similarly unfortunate, Valon didn't glare and start another insult argument. Sigh... this was going to be a boring afternoon.

Oh well- planning the demise of a certain Kaiba would keep him amused for a while.

* * *

Meantime, the white blur had reached the end of the hallway, where it either turned to go down or up a staircase. That wouldn't help- the stairs going up would bring him to the roof and the run down would be a loooooooooong one. Mind still panicking, and still screaming his head off, the white blur did a marvelously short U-turn and headed back down the hallway.

* * *

Dang key. Blowing the bangs out of his face, the redhead told himself to calm down. True- this key refused to open the door. True- he had tried at least a million times now. True- it was slightly bent from the wrestling match earlier. False- it was working.

"C'mon you... key!" A lesson learned from good old, never will show up again Dad- when a household item refuses to work, cursing at it will always do the charm. Usually. Warning- don't try this with dynamite or electronics; they might get mad and blow you up. Thank you, daddy.

There was a faint click, and when he tried the knob- it didn't move. Uh-oh. Alister tried the knob again and got the same result. Opps... With a sigh, he went to remove the key... and found it caught. Oh- so that was what the click was; the stupid thing broke. Opps.

This day couldn't get any worse...

Wrong. "ACK!" was all that escaped the startled- and trampled- Alister as he tumbled t the ground under the white blur seen earlier. He didn't get a very good look, but he did notice the bugged-out eyes, the feet stomping up one side of him to the other and that whatever it was, it was saying; 'Aiee.' Then, just as soon as it arrived, it left. "Ugh... ouch..."

* * *

Much to his irritation, the door to the meeting room was closed. _It bettuh not be locked! This day 'as been bad enough as it is! _Valon thought to himself as he kicked the door. Much to his relief- and Dartz's, the last time the Australian came across a locked door when he had been in a foul mood, Valon had nearly destroyed it. Anyways, it did get a few more holes than before and some curious scratches deep into the wood. It was still a mystery...- it swung open smoothly. He found Rafeal trying to spot something on the security cameras, as Dartz periodically switched their view down to the meeting room and then back to his office. The reason was still unknown. "Rafeal! Where's Dartz?" Valon called out, making the edgy blond whirl around... and fall over. "Carpet got ya?"

Using the table edge to pull himself up, Rafeal glared down at Valon. Enough with all the jokes already! "He's... busy right now. I'm trying to find him. What is it?"

"Well, first off there's one o' Dartz's monsters loose in the building- we need to work on security- an' it is cur'ently screamin' and runnin' up and down the hallway outside our rooms. Besides that, Alister's bein' annoyin' again."

Rafeal rolled his eyes- that was the usual complaint with the two of them on Thursdays. "Wait... one of Dartz's monsters..? Running up and down a hallway?"

"And stomped all over my back!" The two turned- Valon staying smoothly on his feet, Rafeal falling flat on his face- and found Alister limping towards them, mumbling various things to himself. "Besides that-"

"Let me guess-" a hand reaching up to clench at the table's edge signaled Rafeal's return to the world of standing on two feet, "-Valon's annoying you again?"

"No. My key to my room is broken- right inside of the lock."

"Again?"

"Shut up, Valon- I'm not in the mood."

Valon rolled his eyes, ignoring the glare he got from the redhead. "And you weren't before..?" he asked sarcastically.

"I'm warning you, Aussie-"

"ENOUGH!" the roar brought the two to complete silence, neatly chastised. Rafeal had made his way back to his feet and was glaring at the two... children. "Look- Dartz is... busy and there's a... thing running loose. Since he's... busy, we have to deal with this little... situation ourselves."

"Okay- I'll confront it face-ta-face, Alister get it from behind, and you Rafeal... Uh... back up?"

"Alister just got run over by the thing. Do you really think you're going to stand a better chance?" Rafeal replied dryly. Honestly, Valon needed to get some more common sense! "Anyways- if it really used to be one of Dartz's... servants than it should have a duel disk. Maybe we can beat it in a duel."

Valon made a face, and replied with a very sarcastic tone, "Oh yeah- I'm sure that it'll stop when you say, ''Old it, monster- I challenge you to a duel!' I can see it all right now... BAM! And it'll squish you flat like roadkill."

"Oh, that's a lovely image," Alister muttered, looking disgusted. "Why not try attacking it with duct tape or glue? Or- dare I say it?- nail polish?"

"Ack! Don't you dare mention that in front of me again!" Valon made as if to hit him, making the redhead duck and run straight into a chair. "I still have nightmares from it."

"And it's still on your nails- its not a bad color on you, by the way."

"SHUT IT!"

"You're a Barbie Girl, in you're Barbie Wor-ld, Imagina- ACK!" Alister was cut off from more singing as Valon come at him, swinging. With a sigh, Rafeal waded in the sudden mess of fists, kicks and dust to literally pull the two apart. Why did today have to be Thursday? They're always trying to kill each other on Thursdays... It must be something in the water.

* * *

"Do you really think this is going to work?" Rafeal asked doubtfully. It had taken him nearly ten minutes to keep the two from going at it again, and another ten to get them to agree on a plan without the knuckle sandwiches. "It's only three pieces of duct tape stretched over the length of the hallway... Somehow that doesn't sound like it'll work..."

From behind him, Alister whispered, "This is why you don't let Valon think up plans- he never gets it right."

"Who asked you, carrot top?" Valon whispered fiercely over his shoulder. Alister was just asking for it today... Stupid Thursdays... "These monsters aren't too smart- they can be trapped like this! Duct tape is one of the strongest substances in the world! Why do you think Dartz uses it to fix anything that's broken?"

"Cause he won't pay to properly fix things?"

"Shush it- I see somethin' coming!" The brunette leaned the tiniest bit further out, just to be sure he was right. Yep, something was definitely coming- and fast. "It doesn't see the duct tape! Ha- it'll run right into it!"

"Or right through it," Rafeal muttered, images of the monster hurtling through and continuing on without even slowing. And if THAT happened- then it would have a new, powerful weapon hanging off of it... Duct tape... shudder

Alister nudged Rafeal's shoulder, whispering, "Quick, push him out into the hallway- maybe we'll get lucky and he'll run over." The blond gave him an annoyed look, and turned back to the hallway... right as the thing ran into... and through the tape.

"Look out! That stuff is live!" All three hit the floor as the very sticky material waved over their heads. The monster took no notice and continued its gibbering and screams on down the hallway.

Slowly, the three got back up again, shocked. They had never seen ANYTHING do that before- not to duct tape! Whatever they were dealing with... it had powers, man- powers. How else could it have gotten through the lure of the tape?

"Well," Alister broke the silence, "what do we do now?"

* * *

Rafeal looked upon the new 'trap' and shook his head slowly. "At the risk of repeating myself and getting another glare from the two of you... I don't think this is going to work either." He gestured to the complex arrangement of duct tape, looking for all the world like a bad attempt at a spider web. "If duct tape didn't work the first time- why would it work now?"

"Because there's more than just three strips of tape running across," Alister replied, taping over a slowly curling edge. "And it better worked- this is the last of my supply."

"That's a good thing to hear," Valon muttered. He didn't even want to THINK of what the redhead had been planning with the twenty rolls of gray duct tape hidden under his pillow. Ignoring the glare, he continued, "So now what?"

Glare switching to an annoyed look, Alister guided the three to the side of the trap- well out of range of any free flying tape. "Now we wait, pee-brain."

"Hey!"

Rafeal rolled his eyes and slapped a hand over the brunette's mouth. Over the last thirty minutes of setting this up, he had to intervene more and more before another fight broke out. At the rate they're going, he ought to tape them up in the middle of the hallway as a sacrifice to the monster. "Quiet Valon- now's not the time," he whispered fiercely.

"It's coming," Alister reported, moving back down to the other two. "And once again- fast. I'd say that there's a small, minuscule chance that it'll break through."

"How small is small, carrot top?" Valon shot. "Is it fifty percent chance or just forty-nine percent?"

Alister didn't get the chance to reply, as the thing came by then, slamming right into the tape. It held for a second... and then broke, adding the ends of duct tape to the original duct tape on it. "Look out!" The three saw more of the beautiful floor as the tape waved over their heads.

It was a good five minutes later before they got back up. Valon had apparently found this an appropriate time to insult Alister's 'stinky' and 'fashion dead' shoes, which had cost the redhead an arm and a leg to get. The only way the Australian didn't find his head disconnected and offered on a silver platter to the creature was the restraining hand on his shoulder and Valon's. "Well," Valon muttered, shaking off Rafeal's hand, "that didn't work. Now what?"

* * *

The brunette and redhead looked at the small piece of paper that was Rafeal's plan. For the first time that day, the two agreed on something- Rafeal had lost it. Valon took the paper out of the blond's hand and read it over. Nope, he hadn't read it wrong. "'Ow is apple pie supposed to stop it?"

Rafeal flung over two aprons at them, and before they even had the chance to catch them, had his own on and was digging through the kitchen for some bowls and spoons. "No one can resist pie, Valon." Smiling, he placed three bowls on top of the table and wooden spoons beside each one. "And we're going to make one. Big. Pie. It won't be able to resist that, I'm telling you!"

"More... comfort food?" Alister asked dryly. There was a reason he hardly passed Home Economics in school- he could burn a hole into a pot of boiling water. "Did I mention I can't cook?"

"Oh, you can cook Alister," Valon muttered, placing the paper onto the table, "Just not without putting a hole in it."

"Shut it, Aussie!"

Rafeal rolled his eyes- more intervening was required. He thrusted a bowl in both Alister's and Valon's hands before they found a better use for them and guided them towards the ingredients he handed out. "Follow the recipe EXACTLY and make the crust. I'll do the filling." He put the recipe in between them, taping it to the door of a cupboard in front of them. "Keep those hands busy and mouths shut- or else I'll suggest an anger management class to Dartz for the two of you."

"Oh god no- not that!" Alister exclaimed sarcastically. "What does that word say..? Fruit... Loops...?"

Valon gave him a look and reached for the flour. "You need glasses, Ally- that says quite clearly: Flour."

"Al...is...ter... Val...on... What did I say!"

* * *

The silence lasted for only about two minutes. Well... it lasted for almost that much time- the stop watch being used could have been a little bit off...

"Do you mind, Alister, not spraying your pathetic bunch of... ingredients into my bowl?" Valon muttered, wiping a floury hand over his forehead. A smudge of white was left, and the annoying bangs just fell back into place anyways. "'Ow many more of these stupid crusts do we hav'ta make, Rafeal?"

Alister gave the brunette a look, but wisely kept his mouth shut. It wouldn't be a good idea if he got into another fight with Valon over this; he'd hate to admit it, but the Australian was better at this than him. The advantage was clearly on his side.

"Two more," Rafeal replied, measuring out the cinnamon with a practiced hand. He caught the hopeful glances between the two and couldn't help but smile as he broke the bad news to them, "For the both of you."

"What!"

"Get back to work, Valon- we might not have much time left."

* * *

"That doesn't look cooked," Alister commented, for lack of anything else to say. The pie was very... very... large. It was a wonder they got into the oven at all. "Although... I wouldn't be able to tell either way if my life depended on it."

Rafeal shrugged it off- everyone's said that about something once in their lives-, "It's cooked. If we waited any longer, the edges would be burnt to a crisp."

"At least it would've been cooked," Valon replied. "So... where do we put it?"

"Hmmm... well... that's the problem..."

* * *

Mai Valentine sighed, throwing her book off to the side. It landed on the floor with a thud and slid a couple feet. This was getting boring. With a sigh, she slung her legs over the side of her bed and crossed the room to the door. There had been no loud noises for a while now- it should be safe by now.

Still, she opened the door slowly, just ready to close it at the slightest unexpected noise. Nothing. Good. Smiling- maybe she could find Valon and tease him some more- she took a step out... and nearly burst out laughing from the view at the end of the hallway.

Yes, she had found Valon. And his 'friends.' The three of them were struggling to place what looked like a pie on top of a very small end table that must have come from the Wrestling Room. Hmm... Now what was with the duct tape? Trying to guard the pie from... whatever? Ha!

"What are you three doing? You're going to burn the top of that end table and Dartz will kill you for it!" She called down, making her slow way down the hallway towards them.

Valon did a double-take, looking very shocked. "Mai! Look out! The monster is gonna come down that way in any second now!"

Mai blinked several times, trying to understand what he had said. Monster? What had he been smoking lately..? "What are you, crazy Valon? There's no monster here-"

"LOOK OUT!"

"Wha-?" She turned around, only to find the white blur heading right at her. The next thing she knew, there was a ceiling in her view and nothing else. Blinking and feeling like the victim of a sale stampeding group, she rolled over to watch what would happen now to the three clue less losers.

The white blur went right through the duct tape- and the three of them- like a knife through butter. The end table was knocked over and the thing tripped over the furnishing, landing a face plant into the pastry. The limbs of the white blur slowly stopped twitching as something small, furry, and brown hopped off and ran off.

"Wait a minute... that looks like..," Mai got to her feet, wiping off the dust on her skirt, "Dartz... Uh-oh..." Slowly... very slowly... she made her way to her room, gaining speed until she was like the Roadrunner Looney Tune, slamming the door shut and locking it. Yes- when living with those four, it was better to keep one's door shut and locked. No matter what.

* * *

Ah... that was fun to write. Okie dokie- Thank you and please review! Thanks! again! 


	6. Think about THAT, boss

THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING! And now... onto the torture- I mean story! And I owe my big sissy for some of the ideas. Once again it seems that parantheses are not working today... Hmm.. well, if it sounds totally out of context, then it is supposed to be inparantheses. Okay? Please Understand, I do try to fix it! But anyways... Why are you reading this! Don't you want to read the next chapter! That's why I'm writing these! So SOMEBODY would read these! Don't you have LIVES! Get on wid it already! Ahem...

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing that ain't mine- and I'll tell you when that happens.

Chapter: Think That Over, Boss

* * *

Rafeal slowly shut his bedroom door closed, feeling and looking dazed. When their boss had finally gotten out of the apple pie, he did not look too pleased. No, he seemed to be feeling the exact opposite. And if the look on his face wasn't enough to tell them that, then the whack over the head was.

Oh well, it couldn't get much worse than this. Well... not too much worse... Right..?

* * *

It got worse. For an agonizing hour, the four were left to their own devices, each knowing that at any second Dartz would call them down. Any second now... Finally, much to their relief, he did. 

And, considering the guy had been mistaken for a monster, duct-taped twice and just did a face plant into a whole lot of apple pie, he seemed strangely calmer. If you call a glaring and just short of killing everything within an hundred mile radius calm.

The four stood in front of his desk, none looking straight at him. Mai had grabbed her nail filer as soon as she stepped into the room- doing anything was better than just waiting for the ax to fall. Valon stood next to her, keeping himself buys by trying to wipe off a speck on his goggles that just wasn't there. Alister kept himself from going insane by making up new patterns in the rug in his mind. Rafeal, on the other hand, kept his mind occupied by repeating over and over again that no matter how bad the punishment turns out to be- it could always be worse.

"Rafeal." The sudden sound made the owner of the name jump in surprise, nearly hitting his head on the ceiling. Dartz's eyes narrowed to slits as he continued, oblivious to his employee's reactions, "According to your... version of the story, all three of you fell for Valon's... story, and because of that, followed through with the... traps."

Mai's head snapped up, mouth open and moving, "Hey, I wasn't in on their stupid plans."

"Shut it." She fell silent reluctantly and went back to her nails. Stupid pinkie finger was just not shaping out right. Dartz swept a hand through his hair, growling as he came across a very large tangle. "And I already know that, dear- which is why you're just getting a slap on the wrist. Maybe."

Valon couldn't help but wince at the thought of what lay in store. This punishment was going to be far worse than any other one. Maybe they'd be used as target practice. Or perhaps they'll get off a little easier and just have to endure knitting baby sweaters for a month. Hmm... he'd been meaning to get to those little booties for a while...

"Valon- according to the story, you were the one that made the... mistake. So- you're obviously guilty. Alister- second to become convinced. By association and actively helping; guilty. Rafeal- third. Same charges, guilty. Mia- by excessive annoying female idiosyncrasies known only to you, guilty."

"I didn't know that there was a trial," Alister muttered. Leave it to their boss to get melodramatic over a bit of pie filling in his hair.

Mia snorted at the charges against her and demanded, What do you mean by 'excessive annoying female idiosyncrasies'? That could be called sexual discrimination."

The smile on their boss's face stretched a little, looking more like bared teeth. "You're the only female- AND employee- that feels the need to outright disobey orders. Yes, Valon does that, but not upon when he receives the orders for the first time. You are loud and overall annoying. You break down in duels against your rival. But the worst of all... YOU WRECKED THE BATHROOM WITH ALL OF YOUR STUPID COSMETICS AND PERFUMES!" Breathing heavily, Dartz slowly got control of his temper. Spying a lone paper clip on the edge of his desk, he picked it up and began to mangle it.

"That was only once, 'sir,'" Mia protested softly. She didn't want to invite that temper on her!

"Have you ever tried cleaning that junk up? There's still a smudge on the mirror!" Dartz broke the paper clip in half and flung it aside. "Anyway- your punishments... but who to start with..? Hmm... Ah- I know! Mai Valentine- you are on probation for three days. Prove to me you are a worthy employee and you're back. Maybe. Alister- one week probation. Rafeal- same. And Valon..."

The brunette looked up, feeling for the first time that day hopeful. Not one of them had been sentenced to becoming target practices OR members of a knitting circle. Maybe he wasn't going to die after all...

"You're fired."

* * *

"It could be worse, ya know," Rafeal muttered, unintentionally catching everyone's attention. 

Thunder rumbled, turning their eyes upwards. "Please don't say it could be raining- that has been said way too often and it'll start any second, anyways," Alister commented.

"'Ow 'bout you don't say anything at all," Valon growled, fixing his goggles over his eyes. He sure was lucky he was allowed the motorcycle out of the 'deal.' Although he didn't get why Dartz would call it a bad paint job- yellow and black was a good combination.

"I was just going to say-"

"Forget it. I'll see you guys around sometime... Good luck with yer dueling..." With just about all said that needed to be said, the motorcycle roared to life and spun off- Valon with it. of course

"Do you think we'll ever see him again?" Alister asked out loud.

Rafeal shrugged. "Most likely; he has a talent for showing up again and again, no matter what the situation is."

"Well I hope he comes back soon," the redhead muttered, just as the rain began to fall. Rafeal looked down at him in surprise, thinking it too good to hear- could they have finally become... 'friends?' "Or else we'll be dealing with that Valentine by ourselves."

Nope. Oh well.

* * *

About six days later: 

The door flew open on the World's Smallest Apartment. Yes, the World's Smallest Apartment, being rented by the World's Most Annoyed Australian Brunette. Who was, at this very moment, throwing the World's Dirtiest Motorcycle Helmet onto the floor. The World's Most Annoyed Australian Brunette stomped over to his private storage of Torture Equipment.

So that white-haired... BRAT thought he could get rid of the World's Most Annoyed Australian Brunette! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He'll NEVER get rid of him THAT easily!

* * *

"Wait a minute... Why do I have to duel Wheeler!" demanded a very indignant Alister, having just heard the day's new assignment. "That isn't part of my contract! Not that I have one... but still!" 

Dartz gave the redhead an annoyed look. "Ms. Valentine is on a longer probation now thanks to the... what did you nickname it again, Rafeal?"

The blond stirred in his chair, awakening from him mid afternoon nap long enough to reply, "The Bathroom Incidents."

"Ah yes... That was it..."

"Just because she switched your shampoo with glue, put itching powder in the towels and clogged up the drains so you couldn't wash any of the stuff off doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer!" Alister protested, counting off Mai's revenge schemes just to be sure he got them all.

Settling back into his chair, Rafeal muttered something along the lives of 'Mai put gelatin on the doorknobs, locked it from the outside and also made sure there wasn't anymore hot water left,' before the Z's started up.

Flinching and hissing, Dartz opened his desk drawer open, searching for the one thing that would teach them about listing those little 'pranks' again. "Never ever, EVER mention those to me AGAIN!" He shouted, flinging the secret weapons at them. Cute little squeaks or squeaking meows and barks were heard as the multicolored plushies of various shapes hit their marks.

"Sque- Woof- woof!" A cute little puppy dog hit Alister's head and plopped onto the floor. The redhead picked it up, ignoring the other plushies and stuff animals being flung around the room. He stared down at the little button eyes, looking so cute, shuddered and dropped it. These cute little minions were pure evil...

Rafeal never moved; and it didn't look like all the plushie puppies or cats in the world could make him move any time soon, either.

"We- uh- we get the point, sir," Alister fended off the plushies as best as possible, but they soon overwhelmed him and he become the center of a plushie pile. Rafeal unresistingly followed suit, still snoring away. Finally, the rain of plushies ended, leaving a much more calmed Dartz behind.

"Good... Now... where was I..? Oh yes! So, since Ms. Valentine is 'out of work,' you're the only one left who is awake enough this afternoon to get the job done. Understand?"

A plushie's tail wagged back and forth as the buried duelist replied, "Why not let Valon back? He's the one with the grudge- he can duel Wheeler."

"ACK! NEVER name that... AUSSIE in front of me AGAIN!" Another desk drawer was opened and more plushies began to fill the room. The rain finally subsided, leaving the room looking like a plushie storm hit it. Which was what had happened...

"Ummm... okay, sir. I'll- uh- go find Wheeler first... Once I can move my arms again..."

Dartz tilted his head to one side. Hmmm, maybe he had used to many plushies... Nah! "Get going, pansy, before I plushify you again! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"R-right away sir!"

* * *

"Yawn... I think you got a... yawn... plushie in your hair still, Alister," Rafeal half murmured, half yawned out. Keeping a hand on the wall for balance, he tried to stumble his way down to the kitchen for a quick coffee break. Then, onward to the duels! If he could stay awake... 

With a growl, the redhead whipped a hand through his hair again and again. "Where is it! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFFFFFFF!" For once in a millennia, Alister willingly messed up his hair in search of the offending plushie. "Evil, evil, EVIL PLUSHIES!"

Stopping beside the crazed redhead, Rafeal meant to bat the plushie he was so sure was there... only to more or less whack Alister so hard that he fell face first onto the floor. "Got him... Yawn.."

"Two mo'e minutes, mommy," the dazed Alister slurred out. Everything was spiraling and doubling before his eyes... whoa- pretty colors! "I'd wike some bwonies, pwease!"

Rafeal groaned as he bent over, picking Alister 'up'- his head came up about two inches off of the ground- by the collar of his coat and proceeded to drag him along. "Look Alister- no matter how good an idea it is to sleep right now... yawn... I mean... I'd LOVE to be doing that, too... but... yawn... we can't- we got a job... yawn... to do..."

VRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

Now fully awake- very loud sounds tend to do that to him- Rafeal snapped his head up and almost fell over. That motor sounded rather familiar to him. But from where?

VVVVVVRRRRRRROOOOOOOOMMMMM!

Ah yes- that's Valon's motorcycle motor when he's performing a wheelie backwards while zooming over twelve security guards' heads while laughing maniacally and switching a pack of torturing equipment from one shoulder to the other!

Excited as well as awake, Rafeal lifted Alister up higher and began to shake him a little. "Wake up, Alister- it's Valon! He's ba-!"

A yellow and black motorcycle shot through the end of the hallway wall, carrying a laughing World's Most Crazed and Annoyed Australian Brunette with it. It zoomed by Rafeal and the slowly awakening Alister with barely a glance and right into the closed door of Dartz's office room. Their boss looked up from his chorus of plushies, shocked and then Valon's spiky hair got in the way of their vision.

"Aw drat, Alister- you missed 'im!" Rafeal dropped the redhead onto the floor, where the poor guy nearly fell unconscious again. "Oh well- he didn't seem to happy. Let's go get our job stuff done with. The last one down to the garage is a smelly garbage can! La, la la, la, la la!"

"Ugh... okay, Rafeal... I'm movin'..," with a groan and muttered curse, Alister stumbled after him. It seemed as though there were cotton balls in his head, making him almost trip every so often.

* * *

"V- Valon!" Dartz stammered out, shock quickly turning into fury. "Get out of here! Don't you know to knock before entering a room with a closed door! It's okay, Blue, it's okay. The bad teenager will leave soon... shhh, it's okay..." 

The brunette whipped the helmet off his head and placed it on the edge of the handlebars of the motorcycle. Just as calmly and quietly, he dismounted off the bike and walked slowly towards his former boss, pack of torturing equipment in hand. "Ya know, Dartzy, I miss duelin' and gettin' paid fo' it. Course- I like the duels themselves... but gettin' paid money outside of a part-time cashier job is nice..."

"Get away from my plushies! How dare you get near them! They never did anything to you, you snot-nosed Aussie!"

"'Ey! I already blew my nose- now let me get on with w'at I was goin' ta say!" Valon growled, eyes narrowing to slits much more narrow than Dartz could ever hope to achieve. With a gulp, the white-haired man fell silent, gathering his plushies closer to him; there was no way to know what this loony would do to them! "Now... where was I..? Oh yeah! I liked my job 'ere- and I only made one li'le mistake here, too! Jus' one, Dartzy- one! And now I'm stuck as a stinkin' CASHIER fo' it! Do you know that you can't survive on a cashier's salary these days?"

Dartz thought it over for a minute and nodded in agreement. It's strange, you never think about it, but it's true...

"Right- glad you see it my way. Now this will go a whole lot more easier that way!" Valon dropped the pack onto the ground, ignoring the look in Dartz's eyes. He dug through the bag's contents, looking for the one particular item... Aha! "Looky wha' I found, Dartzy! Duct-tape!" Smiling evilly, two rolls of duct-tape in hand, Valon made his slow way around the desk. "I believe this is your favorite gagging material, no?"

"HELP ME, MY PLUSHIES!"

RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!

* * *

"Now, now, Dartzy- we can't have you shouting your 'ead off for the whole world to 'ear, now can we? An' with that in mind, we can't let you get away, either," Valon continued on with a merry tone, ignoring the muffled protests as his former boss tried to say something. Ripping off another piece of tape, he manacled Dartz's wrists together, and then his ankles. Finally, to make sure he would NEVER get away, he taped a good amount around the white-haired man's chest to the chair. "There we go! All better, in my opinion. Wouldn't ya say so, Dartzy?" 

Dartz's eyes nearly filled with tears. His poor plushies; once he got the tape off of them, their fluffy fur would NEVER be the same AGAIN!

"Okie dokie, then... On with my other complaints. Let's see, what else do I have in 'ere. It took me awhile to collect it all, but I got 'em! Check 'em out, Dartzy!" Valon upended the bag onto the desk, enjoying the way his former boss's eyes widened in- ohdarewesayit?- fear. "I think... some glue in the hair would do you good. 'Old on, now!"

It only took two minutes to get the top off the jar and have it all emptied over the victim's head. "Hmm... I wonder what you'd look like with a beehive hairstyle. 'Old on, Dartzy- this'll only take a minute!" And it did. "OHHH! You look so... so CUTE, Dartzy! I think your dollies agree, too; don't they?"

"Squeak."

"I knew they would! Now... le's see... Ah yes. The glitter is next! An' THIS is for tryin' to split me an' my up not that we ever went together... but...!" The glitter sparkled its way down over Dartz's new do, making him look like one of Tinkerbell's victims. The next item to opened for Valon's torturing pleasure was a bunch of post-its. "An' this little post-it wanted to cover yer nose! An' THIS little post-it wanted to become a pompom for your hair!" And so on.

Now the stamps make their appearance. "Now, these little Garfield and Bambi stamps will be your plushies' post-it beauty marks! Come ta me, little doggy!" Dartz's eyes grew wide as his beloved plushies suffered the same fate as he did. They had even a miniature beehive on top of their heads, too. "Ahhh... don' they look cute, Dartzy? I thought you'd think that- but you don' need to cry over it."

Valon raised his wristwatch in front of his eyes, clicking his tongue once. "Sorry to tell ya this, Dartzy- but our little fun will have to come to an end soon; its almost three-thirty! An' my shift begins at Four. But anyways... It's time for the real fun; MAPLE SYRUP, FRUIT JAMS AND APPLE PIE TIME!" The brunette's eyes lit up as he opened the jar of maple syrup. "Le's see... Now- my demands slash complaints: One- I don't like being yelled at for 'motivation.' Two: I want my job back- my only job of sanity- and YOU TOOK IT AWAY, YOU ! Three: You're goin' to give me back my job, right? Five: I don't like American cheese. Six: When I ask for no American cheese on my sandwich, I expect ta see no American cheese on my sandwich. This all sounds reasonable so far, right?" On each demand, poor Dartz was bombarded by a fresh jar full of maple syrup or jam. And there seemed to be no end in sight...

"Seven: I don't want to have ta dry clean my clothes two days straight jus' 'cause you had a little temper tantrum last night. Eight: I hate American cheese; but I said that one already, didn't I? Sorry- that one shouldn't have counted, heh? Eight prime: I demand my own arsenal of duct-tape. Nine: I hate stinky perfumes that aren't Mai's! Ten: You take too long in the bathroom in the morning- just like Alister, the bloke! Eleven: No excess sugar or caffeine is to be provided to Rafeal; he wakes up and is hyper for the rest of the morning until the next sugar low." Valon paused in his maple syrup flinging long enough to venture away from the topic a little, "Have you ever had to talk to a hyper body builder duelist for two hours straight? AND make sure he didn't get jailed or get beaten up by some chick? Heh? HEH!"

Dartz shook his head frantically. He didn't know what Valon was talking about- the only time that had happened was when he had sent the two of them to go get donuts at the local grocery store. Apparently the line had been a rather long one, and Rafeal had been just a little too hyper... But he hadn't heard about the police or 'chick' part before today.

Oh. And his hair was NEVER going to be the same after today; it was already goopy from the amounts of jam and syrup already dumped over his head.

"Lucky bloke. Anyways; no sugar for the body builder- its a bad idea, trust me on that," Valon muttered, searching through the slowly diminishing pile of jars. "I'm on twelve now, right? Good. Twelve: I like blueberry pies- Rafeal should bake those kinds. Thirteen: I don't like having to do stupid chores that YOU should hav'ta do, but won't because you have us four to boss around. Fourteen: No more having to do the Macarina in a tu-tu just because I spoke back to you. Fifteen: No more filming me doing the Macarina in a tu-tu just because I spoke back to you for blackmailing purposes. Do that to Alister- he's the better dancer. Sixteen: I WANT MY JOB BACK, SO GIVE IT BACK NOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!"

The Granddaddy of all apple pies in the world was dumped over Dartz's head, splattering over the desk, floor, plushies, ceiling and the walls. All that was visible of Dartz after that was two different colored eyes blinking out globs of filling and crust from his vision. Valon leaned in close, holding a can of whip cream in one hand. He sprayed a bit of the cream onto his head and dolloped it on the victim's nose, saying brightly, "So... do we have a deal, Dartzy?" He held the whip cream can up closer as a threat.

Resisting the urge to cry- no matter how small; I mean, his hair was going to have to be NUKED to get all of this crud out!- Dartz nodded slowly. He didn't want to have to deal with this evil minion any longer... maybe he'd leave after this...

"Good!" Valon cried out happily. "I'll start today, okay? Full-time and NO MORE PART-TIME CASHIER JOBS! HOORAY!" Giving the dazed and nearly deafened Dartz, Valon ran off with his motorcycle and depleted bag, whooping all the way away.

Well. That was fun. Flexing his wrists against their bonds, Dartz inched closer to the plushies. Luckily, unlike himself, they hadn't suffered the syrup, jam or pie damage. Good. His priceless collection of mint condition plushies would be alllllll right.

And he can get Valon back tomorrow!

* * *

Wiping tear drop away from corner of eye Ah! That was fun.. sniff Now; please review, if you'd like. THANK YOU! 


	7. Raffy Has Left the Building

Hullo- I'm sorry it took me awhile to update, I hit a snag or two. anyways... For this chapter, I owe San the Silver Wolf Demon for the idea. Please read and review! Thanks!

Disclaimer: Nope, I haven't won the lottery yet.

* * *

Chapter Seven: Raffy's Has Left the Building

Rafeal placed the last of his three Guardian Monster cards onto the shelf lovingly, feeling that same old glow of warmth that he always did. These cards had kept him sane when he had been younger. He didn't even want to THINK about what would have happened if they weren't there on that deserted island all those years back...

The faces of the cards were well worn; the outlines of the pictures were scarcely visible. Considering what the cards had been through, it was a wonder that they hadn't been destroyed by natural forces of water, skin oil and various sands and dirts they had been forced to be next to. The blond would NEVER get rid of these cards- not even if they were, oh let's say.., torn up, trampled on, pig swallowed and vomited out, thrown in a puddle and then dried in mud or even baked in some delicious pastry and burned to a horrific crisp.

Never.

Whistling to himself, Rafeal leaned against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him. He shuffled through the rest of his deck, doing a mental checklist of each card in his deck. Yep- every single one was there. He slid the deck into his duel disk and placed it down on the ground next to him.

Now there was nothing else to do except anything he wanted. Zzz... Zzz... Zzz...

* * *

"Armor on! Foot Kicker- AWAAAAAAYYYYY!" Taking little time to aim, Valon kicked the sad excuse of a soccer ball, sending it up... up... and... into a very large batch of prickly bushes.

Alister didn't bother to see where the ball went; after thirty-six times of the same exact thing, it became quite pointless to look. "You can't use your armor cards in kickball, Valon!" he repeated for the millionth time that day.

"Ha! Jus' like I can't hit you with the ball to get you out, right? 'Cause ya might break a nail, I'll bet!"

Resisting the urge to slam a thorn bush down the brunette's throat, Alister growled out, "You have to hit the runner from the shoulders down- you keep hitting me in the back of the head!"

"So?"

"So it doesn't count!"

Valon just shrugged the matter off, but kept his grin on; he could keep this up all day, but Alister would give in sooner or later. He knew from experience at other games... Take basketball for example. Now, anyone could play the game with the rules; it took someone special to convince a goody-goody two shoes to play it hopping on one foot, going in slow motion AND wrestling the opponent to the ground in order to get the ball. Oh, and no fouls. "Jus' go get the ball, ya pansy."

"No- you go get it. You're the one who bloody kicked it!" the redhead retorted, trying to futilely smooth the bump in his hair caused by the unfailingly accurate throws Valon had earlier made. The next time Dartz suggested that they go 'play outside and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air'- actually meaning 'get out of here before I kill you'-, he was going to shove the white-haired idiot outside to play a sport with Valon and see if HE liked it! Ha, that would be the day.

"But YOU'RE the defense- you have ta get it."

"I HAD TO GET IT FOR THE LAST BLOODY THIRTY-SIX TIMES!"

"Yeah... and..?"

Rationality becoming a thing of the past, Alister stomped his way over to a very calm Australian, wishing for something large and heavy to clobber the minion with. "You... are... going... to... get... it... Even... if... I... have... to... drag... you... over... there... MYSELF! NOW MOVE IT, AUSSIE!"

Valon blinked a couple of times, feeling as though he had just experienced the howling winds of a hurricane. "Ya know, you should use a breath mint, Alister... I mean really-! ACK!" The next thing he knew, his feet was no longer on the ground. But his head was. "Hey! That was a cheap trick! An' give me back my cards- aaah! Okay- okay! I'm movin'!" Not wishing to feel the wrath of his Foot Kicker card, the brunette got to his feet and ran the way over to the bushes. Thank goodness he didn't wear belly shirts... although, the thorns were going to do a number on his arms...

* * *

Ten minutes later found Alister leaning comfortably against the side of the headquarters building. Smiling to himself, he watched as the very irritated brunette try to find the soccer ball in that thorny prison. Hmm... he needs some more happiness in his life- and the redhead was the one to share it.

"Hey Valon, how's it going over- in- there?" Alister called out, smile widening.

The brunette's head snapped up, eyes narrowed. "It'd go faster if ya helped out, Alister! Ack!- why of all the stinkin' thorns in all the world!"

"Why not try to your left? Or did you search there already?"

Muttering obscene curses under his breath, Valon ducked down into the stinging bushes. He had thought that he'd seen a certain oblate spheroid... Nope. Candy wrapper. Hey! Hersheys- he LOVED Hersheys! Ahem... back to the search...

"Found it?"

"Does it bloody well LOOK like I found it, you bloody idiot!" Valon shouted back. He hadn't foreseen this happening in his afternoon of fun and games, that's for sure!

Struggling to keep from laughing his head off, Alister replied with all sincerity, "I thought you were Australian, not British, ol' chum."

Muttering even MORE obscene curses under his breath, Valon ducked out of view again, sure he had seen something... AHA! "Gerroff o' me, you stinkin' BUSH!" With that, he ripped his way out of a particularly sharp bush... and landed right in another one. Over the sound of breaking plant limbs and his own curses, he could still hear that redhead's laughter... Ohhhh... he was gonna pay for this... Can we say no more hair spray..?

"Didja find it now?"

"DIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

"AHH- wha'?" What had started as a bloodcurdling scream- sort of- quickly turned back into laughter. The idiot had missed. Two feet away, tripped, and NOW the brunette misses! This is hilarious! "You finally get the chance to hit me, and the wonder thrower misses? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Resisting the urge to pick grass and dirt out of his teeth, Valon made his slow, defeated way back to his feet. He glanced down behind him, spotting a half buried rock in the ground. Great. Arms ripped to shreds, humiliated, and he trips over a stupid rock on his only chance to shut Alister up! WHAT IS WITH THAT! "Jus' shut up, already! It wasn't that funny, you idiot!" the brunette growled, brushing off the dirt on his shirt.

"Ho-how can I-I after th-that!" Alister laughed out, just barely.

Valon rolled his eyes and started walking off. "The ball went through a window- if ya want to stay alive, I suggest ya get off the ground before I ge' back with the ball to shove down ya throat!"

"Wh-whatever you say, banana heels!"

With a well practiced, "GRR!", the brunette turned the corner to the building, heading for the front- and only- entrance to the building.

* * *

CRASH!

That was all it took for the blond to snap his eyes open, wide awake. No one was allowed in his room without prior permission- that much was granted to him through being the 'employee leader.' Actually, it was the only plus to being the 'employee leader.' Whoever broke that little- very little- rule was gonna wish he was never born...

Rafeal took his own time searching his room, looking for the perpetrator. They couldn't have left... His eyes swept over the shelf that was no more... went on... and immediately swiveled back to the now destroyed shelf. "What the-?" He swung his legs off his bed and made his slow, dazed way over to the remains, eyes wide to an unbelievable size. This just couldn't be happening...

He ignored the soccer ball- in fact, he flicked it aside with barely a glance- and shifted through the splintered wood pieces. The shelf could easily be replaced, that wasn't what he was worried about, though.. Wood piece. Wood piece... C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Valon turned a corner, still feeling miffed. A million Hershey candy totting aliens with jelly beans for heads could have waltzed by without any notice from him at this point. If there was one thing the brunette hated- it was being laughed at by someone he could easily beat in a duel. Almost nothing else got him this riled up; usually. Taking a moment to rest and think, the brunette found himself outside of Rafeal's room. Whatever.

Let's see... the ball went through a window along the back... Rafeal's room is along the back- like Mai's. There was also one empty room if anyone else became a less-than-complete-zombie employee, but so far... naddah. But that room's window was always shut, and Mai rarely stayed around long enough on Saturdays to trust her window open. So- that left Rafeal.

"AIEEEEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO !"

Valon paused along the hallway, suddenly feeling very, very freaked out. The voice- it was familiar... but... it wasn't the side of someone he usually saw... right? "Rafeal? Rafeal...?" Taking the utmost care to not do anything rash, the brunette opened his large blond coworker's door open, seeing a scene that was most definitely unknown to everything his brain knew of Rafeal.

The blond himself was crouching over what looked like saw dusted wood and was... crying? Yep- definitely crying. In his hands, in about a million pieces, were the three cards that Valon knew was very, very, very special to Rafeal. Heck, he had joked about the 'relationship' the two shared once- and very nearly got killed for it. What had reduced him to this! The brunette's gaze swept over the rest of the room, coming to a short stop on the soccer ball.

Opps.

"Heh, hey Rafeal... are you okay..?" Valon asked softly. "Uhhh... Rafeal..?" The blond hadn't, didn't move. Trying not to get any attention, he continued on with a lighter tone- and just as softly-, "Well, huh- I'm just gonna get my- Imean!- Alister's soccer ball... I- uh- HE accidentally kicked it up here... Uhh.. Thanks... and uh... see ya..?"

Rafeal's huge hands closed over his wrecked cards- the very same cards that had kept him sane for a total of THREE YEARS! Well- there will be no more of that! "Valon... did you kill my cards with that vile oblate spheroid!"

The teen jumped in the air, landing heavily on his feet. "Uh-uh-uh... n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n- gulp- n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nooooo! Of course not, mate- uh- Rafeal! Heh, heh... And, uh, ain't it a regular sphere..?"

"Of course not- if you take in the evidence of the heavy layers of duct tape, the thorn bush twigs sticking out of it and the various bits of rocks and grass in it... then you get an oblate spheroid because it is no longer completely round. Understand class?"

"Ummm... okay..."

"Right. Now did you, Valon, DESTROY MY GUARDIAN CARDS WITH THIS VILE OBLATE SPHEROID!"

The brunette in question- literally- flinched at the roar, trying to ignore the instinct telling him to curl up and pretend he was dead. He hadn't done that since... well... never mind. "Uhhhh... no..."

"Oh. Okay."

Carrying the cards and oblate spheroid with him, Rafeal made his way out of the room, leaving a stunned Valon to blink over the sudden turn of events. Actually, to the blond's slowly deteriorating mind, the brunette no longer existed. Instead, there was a certain redhead that needed to be... 'talked' to...

* * *

After deciding to take Valon's advice and leave before the brunette got back, started off for the garage where the bikes were; if Dartz reallllly wanted them outside of the building, then he couldn't object to them keeping their bikes in tip top condition, right? Right.

Whistling a tune known only to him, he put in the password to open the garage doors- goodness knows why Dartz has a garage or even tries to keep it protected with a nonfunctioning security system- and waited patiently for the ancient motors to whir into life. Hopefully the squirrels hadn't bitten the wires in half again- it'd be a beep to try and open it manually.

_Whir... whir... whir... _Oh please open, you stupid thing!

"Were you planning to go somewhere, Alister?"

Frowning- what was Rafeal doing outside around noon? He generally sleeps in on days off until Valon shakes him awake, wondering where dinner was- the redhead turned around, not taking in the sudden change in light or the creepy background music. "Any where's is better than here," he answered, trailing off as he caught the maniacal look in the blond's eye.

"Oh really..?" Rafeal replied, juggling the oblate spheroid back in forth in his hands- he had unceremoniously shoved the card bits in his back pocket after leaving his room. "Do you know what this is?"

"Um... that looks like it's-"

"ADMIT IT, YOU REDHEADED PIXIE, YOU DESTROYED MY GUARDIAN CARDS WITH THIS OBLATE SPHEROID!"

Alister blinked a couple of times, shocked at the sudden change in demeanor and volume in Rafeal's voice. "Oblate... spheroid..?"

The soccer ball was practically shoved up his nostril. "This," Rafeal growled, eyes narrowing. "Now... before you can escape on that stupid motorcycle... you... will... PAY!" And, before Alister could get the soccer ball out of his face and run screaming in terror, he found himself wrapped in chains- suspiciously like the ones the blond puts on his motorcycle during the winter- and was being dragged towards the large leafy structure known as... the elm. What? Did you expect some silly nickname for a skinny wimpy tree like the elm?

"Umm... Rafeal- would you please ex- ow!- plain why I'm being dragged off to the elm?"

"You... will... pay... You... will... pay..."

"Thanks for clarifying your motivation with me."

"You... will... pay... You... will... pay..."

* * *

"Before you finish off your little 'revenge,' do I get the chance to defend myself?" Alister asked, still trying to move any of his limbs. Rafeal had done a very thorough job of wrapping the redhead to the elm with what looked like an endless supply of chains. Hopefully the blond would be considerate enough to let there be blood circulation throughout his body.

Rafeal snorted, pulling on the chains hard enough to tighten the entire length to the point of no circulation. "Go ahead, pixie- do your worst! Your magic sugary concoction will never work on me! So go ahead- attack!"

"Uh huh... Tell me Rafeal- have you been drinking more coffee than Dartz lately?"

"THE CARROTS WILL NEVER OVERTAKE SWEET SUGAR AND HONEY-COATED CAT SANITY! DO YOU HEAR ME!"

* * *

Dartz swigged down the last of his thirtieth cup of coffee, ignoring the bitter taste. Ahh, coffee... What a marvelous substance this is! Now why didn't the ancient Atlanteans have this stuff back then? It's... it's... marvelous!

Nodding his approval, he placed the mug into the sink and turned to leave the kitchen. For the first time that week, there was nothing he had to do that included his useless employees. No having to get apple pie bits out of his hair, no washing out glue, maple syrup or jam, and, better yet, NO SQUIRRELS!

"Squeak."

Hand paused over the door knob, Dartz swept his gaze over the room. That squeak sounded waaaaaaay too familiar for comfort. "Is someone there..?" he called out softly, ears tuned for any sound of life other than his own.

"Sq-squeak."

"No! It can't be! Not that... that... SQUIRREL!" Dartz scrambled to open the door, finding himself unable to due to his panic-crazed mind. "OPEN YOU STUPID DOOR! OPEN!" Much to his surprise, it did open. Dartz hurried through, running right into a muscled wall. "Ra-ra- Rafeal! Thank Atlanta, you're here!" He squeezed through the small space between the blond and the wall and gave Rafeal a small push towards the kitchen. "There's that squirrel in there- get it, get it!"

Rafeal caught himself, as the 'small push' nearly threw him waaaaay off balance. The redheaded pixie said that the brunette puppy was the one that glued the oblate spheroid known as 'the blasted soccer ball' into his room and that was how his precious Guardian cards had been annihilated. He was only inside to find the duct tape so he could shut the pixie up.

"Squeak." The 'squirrel' made its appearance over by the counter next to the sink, coffee mug in claw. Around its muzzle was a ring of brown substance known as coffee, and anyone would have sworn that it was smiling. Actually, it had been saying: this is good coffee, how do you make it? But Dartz can't speak squirrel. It never moved as the hulk made his slow way to it.

Much to Dartz's amazement, the demon let itself be picked up the scruff of its neck and carried up in the air. Even more to his amazement, Rafeal didn't immediately throw it outside the window like he usually did to small pesky things. In fact, the blond idiot was looking down in the sink.

Eyes narrowed and clearly miffed, Rafeal placed the squirrel on his shoulder, giving it a small pat on the head, and turned back to Dartz. "What are those down in the crater, feline?" he growled, pointing at the sink's contents.

FELINE! "You better have a good reason for calling me a feline, you offending- ack!" Before he could say: You better have a good reason for calling me a feline, you offending- ack, Dartz found his air cut off by Rafeal's hand.

"ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT I SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF PIXIES AND PUPPIES! WHY MUST I CLEAN UP AFTER MALODOROUS FELINES TOO! GOOD SNOWMEN ABOVE- WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!"

_Good Atlanta- let me live through this, please!_ Dartz's mind repeated over and over again, as his body tried desperately to attain some good, clean air. "Ra-af-ea-al!" he choked out, not quite sure where to go after that. Honestly, wouldn't it be better if the blond's attention was on the squirrel; he might actually let go after ten thousand years.

Crazed piercing blue eyes glared down at his own, effectively shutting him up; chokes and all. "Get him, Fluffy." The squirrel pantomimed a salute and hopped down from Rafeal's shoulder into Dartz's hair. "Good boy, Fluffy. Aren't you a good boy- aren't you a good boy! Yeees you are! Yeeees you are!" Crooning done with, Rafeal dropped the doomed Dartz to the floor, writhing in agony to get the tiny claws and fluff out of his air. Again.

"Good boy, Fluffy. Have a good dinner; buh-bye now! Buh-bye cutsie wootsie Fluffy!"

* * *

The screaming didn't reach her until she actually took the brave steps out of her room. For the days following her lengthened probation, Mai had been verrrry careful around the place. She couldn't get fired- there was no way that she was going back to where she had come from.

Besides- there's only so much you can do to Dartz that wouldn't be repetitious.

However, there is also only how long you can stay looking at the same four walls and yards before going bonkers, and Mai Valentine had reached her limit. She really needed to get out here. Hmm... maybe she could go duel Wheeler and throw his dead body into a river; a big, stinky river.

Or maybe retreat back in her room and shut the door.

Rafeal turned the corner just then, eyes staring at the floor_. Now what?_ Mai mentally asked herself, adding in a mental eye rolling for good measure. Ignoring the screaming- it wasn't like screaming was uncommon here- she walked over to Rafeal and stopped right in front of him. Feeling strangely concerned, she even went so far as to ask, "What's wrong, sugah?"

The blond's gaze jerked upwards before she even finished the word 'sugah.' Unnerved, she took a step back, thinking that she really should've just retreated back into her room and locked the door. This place was getting crazier every day. "What do you want, great Dust Bunny Lady?" Rafeal asked in an awed tone.

"Ummm... I'll just be goin' now- bye!"

Strong arms wrapped around her waist and she found herself being... bear hugged by the blond version of the Hulk. "DON'T LEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEE! PLEEEAAASE DON'T, GREAT DUST BUNNY LADY!" At that point, Mai couldn't tell which was worse- being suffocated or being called a ball of dirty fluff.

"Lemme go, you oaf!" she cried out, limbs flailing. "NOW! And get a breath mint, wouldja!"

"C'mon, great Dust Bunny Lady- I'll introduce you to Fluffy and his new friend! Maybe we can have a tea party together and start a bowling team and bake cookies for Christmas and- and- oh gee... Just stuff! WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!"

"GOOD LORD- GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

Rafeal fell quiet then, suddenly looking very, very, very unhappy. "Don't you want ta meet my friend?"

Taking this moment of weakness to her advantage, Mai kicked out and pushed herself away violently. She got loose- sort of- and turned to run when she found that her arm was still in the crazy idiot's hands. Shoot- that'll dampen her plans of escape a bit...

"It looks like someone needs a time-out!" Rafeal continued, not feeling any of Mai's new kicks or punches. Even her obscene cursing and shouting didn't reach his ears; or, if they didn't, they didn't register into real words in his brain. In fact, they ran screaming in the other direction at the chaos going on in what had been a perfectly sane mind. "Here's your corner, now be good or else I'll have ta chain you up like Pixie. Buh- bye and I'll be back eventually!"

The closet door was slammed behind her sprawling self as she was thrown unceremoniously into the small closet. She scrambled to the door, hoping to find the knob and open it... Nothing.

"Buh-bye now, Great Dust Bunny Lady! I'll see ya again soon- and be good! Bye!"

Uh-oh.

* * *

Ever since the sudden departure of the crazy ape, Valon had kept himself 'busy' by pacing back and forth in his room, muttering incoherent things under his breath. He knew Rafeal would be back- there was no question about that. No, the only question was WHEN he'd come back.

"Why did he have to go crazy now! Sure, his stupid Guardian cards go' ripped up a little, but no' that badly! Some duct tape would've fixed 'em up just fine and he goes and crumples them up! Wha' is with that idiot!" With a sigh, Valon stopped his ranting long enough to look out his window... and see a squirming redhead chained up to a tree, several squirrels throwing acorns at him. "Holy-! Has everyone in this place gone absolutely bonkers! And where is a bloody good card fixer-upper when ya need one! In Illusion 'eadquarters awaiting to 'ave 'is soul taken away from 'im!"

The door banged open, and in its place stood a very overjoyed Rafeal. In his hands was the oblate spheroid more commonly known as the beat up soccer ball. "Le's play some Dodge Ball, silly Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy!" the blond chirped out, throwing the oblate spheroid up. It hit the ceiling and was stuck there by the sticks clinging into the plaster. "Oh boy- that's not good; hee,hee!"

"Uhh... 'ullo, Raffy- feeling better, I take it?" Valon asked stupidly, trying to keep the conversation on something semi-sane. Maybe Rafeal had been drinking too much coffee from a bad filter again...

Rafeal's smile widened. "Finally! I have another Squirrel-Puppy friend! Can you believe it, Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy, that no one else wants to play with me! There so evil- but our other squirrel friends are keeping them occupied in time-out. Like Fluffy Squirrel is with Dartzy the Feline, and Invisible Hair-Ripping Squirrel is with the Great Dust Bunny Lady and Larry, Billy, Georgette, Carry, Sally and Bob Squirrels are with the Pixie! See- they're playing a rare version of Acorn Baseball down there; Pin the Pixie!"

"That's a lot of squirrels... where'd you find them all, Raffy?"

"They were colonizing with the six foot three inch polka dot bunny rabbits beneath the bathroom counter- remember?"

Valon nodded slowly, eyes trailing over the blond's shoulder to sweet, sweet freedom. "Riiight... that's right."

Rafeal's eyes narrowed and his demeanor suddenly changed at the drop of the hat then. "Hey... you don't look like a Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy!" he cried out, effectively jarring Valon's attention back to the situation at hand. "WAIT! You look EXACTLY like Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy's arch nemesis! You're the Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Spike-Haired Fluffy Polka-dot Goggle-head Sugar-Crazed Squirrel-Puppy, aren't you!" the blond demanded, glaring down at poor Valon.

"Uh... well I... Uh-um... heh, what I mean is- oh jeez!"

"I'LL SAVE YOU, BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE BARNEY SQUIRREL-PUPPY FROM THIS CUTE EVILNESS!"

"Rafeal! PUT ME DOWN, YOU OAF!"

* * *

Twenty hours and a hundred cups of coffee later:

"Feeling better now, Rafeal?" Dartz drawled, sliding the Tylenol medicine bottle across the table to the blond. Taking two, the employee in question nodded. "Good. Next time this sort of thing happens- take a few deep breaths and find the scotch tape, all right?"

"Yes, Master Dartz," Rafeal replied, checking over his newly fixed Guardian cards for the millionth time. "Thank you so very much for the scotch tape- and I'm sure I got everyone out."

"Good."

"Can we kill him now? Please?" Alister asked, tenderly putting ice on the last batch of bruises the acorn-flinging squirrels had inflicted upon him.

Next to him, trying to ignore the fact that he was wearing pink clothes and goggles, was Valon. He couldn't wait to get the dye remover; his hair had used up most of the jar they already had. However, after being released from clothes pins off the cloths line- the dye needed to dry in the breeze- and having to wash his hair for a longer time than Mai or Dartz, didn't lessen his thirst for revenge. He nodded his agreement with Alister earnestly, never moving his glare from Rafeal.

Dartz rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No. We still need a soul from him." _I just KNOW I'm going to regret that decision some day... _"Just get that squirrel out of the... building. Now!"

"Yes sir..," Rafeal sadly did as he was told, letting Fluffy Squirrel out through the kitchen window. "Bye Fluffy!"

"Now what did I tell you about squirrels, Rafeal?"

"They're not pets- they're pests."

"Good," Dartz purred, taking a sip of his most recent cup of coffee. "Now- are you sure you got everyone out of their... time-outs?"

The blond nodded as earnestly as Valon had shortly before. "Yes sir- just like every tangle in your hair is out, so is everybody out of their punishments."

Valon and Alister exchanged looks and turned back to the other two. The brunette's eyes were narrowed the slightest as he tried to put his finger on what was different about this scene. "I don' know, Raffy... It feels as if someone's missin'..."

* * *

Somewhere upstairs, locked in a hallway closet:

"WOULD SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

* * *

I'm so sorry that took me so long to update- but here it is! Thanks for reading and please review! 


	8. Newbies

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! AND I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY THAT IT HAS TAKEN ME SOOOOOOO LONG TO UPDATE! This one is seriously messin' with the story line, but I already did that once, so whatever. Anyways, this one is off the episode where Yugi's soul is taken after Yami lost the duel to Rafeal. And all 'curses' are now 'bleeps.' Enjoy! (Please read and review, too! )

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing already copyrighted; including YGO, and quite glad too. I mean- if you owned a very popular show/manga/whatever you want to call it, then you'd have to keep thinking up new all powerful cards and new story twists and plots! but then again... that could be fun... you could make someone shave off Yugi's hair and then dye his clothes! Hmmm... Does anyone have a bit of cash to lend me..? Ya know- a couple of million..? I'll share the rights with you! j/k

* * *

Chapter Eight: Newbies

There was a sudden jolt as the rope ladder Rafeal was clinging onto for dear life was being trailed off by a helicopter. Nearly crying out- but quickly remembering that it wouldn't look too good for him if his enemies knew he was just an itsy bitsy bit afraid of heights- he glanced down at the bottom rungs, thankfully about ten feet below his feet. "Oh great..," he muttered, rolling his eyes as two other idiots joined him in clinging onto the rungs for dear life.

His attention was drawn back up towards the helicopter as the driver and part-time psycho, Alister, leaned over the open edge, shouting down, "Are you climbing up here or not, Rafeal? I can't pull you up- you know that!"

_He's asking me to move from my safe position on a rickety, badly strung together bits of STRING! What is wrong with him! _Shoving thoughts of slipping on one of the rungs and plummeting to a very painful death, the blond replied as... well, as calmly as possible with thoughts of impending doom written all over his mind, "Aren't you supposed to driving the helicopter, you baboon?"

"Oh beep- you're right!" the redhead swore and hurried back to the cockpit. He had gotten to used to there being manual controls- too used to them that he sometimes forgot when they were there and when they weren't...

Rafeal rolled his eyes and glanced back down to the two stowaways. What are they doing..? Fighting! In the air, only about two thousand feet above very sharp, death-causing rocks! Tightening his grip on the rung- and gulping down a sudden lump in his throat-, Rafeal repeated the previous mutter, "Oh great..."

* * *

"So wait a minute- if you played this card first, then why didn't Yugi just counter it with some trap or another?" The first stowaway demanded, shoving his companion's most prized card in his face.

The three of them had gotten up into the helicopter shortly after Alister had found a nifty button that enabled the machine to pull the ladder back up. Since then, about fifteen minutes later, Rafeal and the redhead had stayed mostly silent, forced to listen to the two annoying shrimps practically yell back and forth at each other. It was worse than any normal Thursday back at Headquarters. Let's leave it at that.

The green-haired companion, gingerly took the card out of the brunette stowaway's hands. He let his companion suffer a little as he took his good time fixing a pair of oversized, bug fashioned eye glasses over his nose. Apparently the glasses were always falling off, as he had to readjust them every two seconds. The sunlight would then glint off the lenses and onto the windshield... and then into Alister's sunglasses, making him swear under his breath and pray that there wasn't any large rocks in the way at that moment.

"Because," the pip-squeak finally said in what sounded like, after fifteen minutes of conversation, a permanently whiny voice, "he didn't have a trap set. Besides- once we get.. you know... then I'll beat Yugi and that'll be that! No more traps in store for me! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

In the front, seated beside a swearing Alister, Rafeal cringed. Once they got back and the two were rejected by Dartz, he could not wait to personally fling them out into open air and hear their screams as they plummeted down to earth. Of course... he could just imagine that they'd sound just as annoying as they did now, but... well...

The brunette rolled his eyes, muttering in a very gravely voice, "Yeah right; you still couldn't beat Yugi even now, Weevil."

"I heard that, you baffoon!" Weevil whacked his friend over his head, making the guy's eyes go cross-eyed for a second. "Not like you could beat Wheeler, Rex- so I wouldn't be talking if I were you!"

Rex recovered quickly- unfortunately- and retaliated with a blow aimed at Weevil's head. Unfortunately for him, the green-haired shrimp ducked at the last second with a cry. "I will be able once... well, ya know."

"Yeah right."

In the front, Rafeal cringed again, as his mind finally took a guess at what the two morons were following them for; to get the Orichalchos Stone. Oh boy, were they going to get a surprise from Dartz when they got back...

"Bleepin' sun! Holy bleepin bleep!" Alister half muttered, half growled as the moron in the back readjusted his glasses again.

* * *

"Now look you two," just before they finally got to what could be called freedom- in a sense- Rafeal found the poor timing on Alister's part rather annoying. Why couldn't he have said everything back on the helicopter when he had nearly shouted himself hoarse? "Master Dartz isn't as... patient as we are- so I wouldn't suggest yapping your heads off on stupid trains of thought."

"Or whacking each other over the head," the blond suggested. Hey, if they were going to warn the two fools, might as well be as thorough as possible.

"Or readjusting your glasses every two seconds."

"Or talking back."

"Or suddenly breaking off on an irrelevant argument."

The brunette rolled his eyes even as his companion enjoyed throwing glaring rays of light into Alister's sunglasses. "Should we just turn around and go back to where we came from?"

"Please do- AND QUIT IT WITH THE BLEEPIN' GLASSES ALREADY!"

Weevil sniffed, but did as he was told. "So are we going to meet this 'Dartz' or not?"

Rafeal glared down at Alister- lucky for him, he was just barely taller than the redhead, so it wasn't impossible to stare down on him- to keep him from strangling the annoying shrimp. Hopefully he wouldn't have to physically restrain him from committing murder... "Yes, just... don't be yourself."

Ignoring the glares from the two, Rafeal and Alister half pushed, half kicked- Alister was still a little miffed- the large door onto the meeting room, where their boss would be.

* * *

Behind his favorite high-back revolving chair- complete with a cup holder- Dartz crunched the Styrofoam cup in one hand. Ever since Rafeal's crazed rampaging he had taken to drinking his coffee out of Styrofoam instead of ceramic mugs. It ruined the taste, but they were disposable and easier to squish in one hand.

"If that baboon even thinks that he got the pharaoh's soul, then he has an extra week of cooking duty coming to him!" The Atlantean growled in harmony with the crunching noises.

On his right and a few chairs down, a certain blue-eyed brunette smirked. "Is that 'cause Raffy's a little slow an' needs ta learn 'bout the double soul part again, or is it because you like 'is cooking?"

Dartz gave him a glare, which was smirked off by the blithe teenager. "Perhaps I'll give Alister the privilege of cooking for once- just to mix things up a little."

"'Re you kiddin' me? 'E'll end up poisonin' us- you know he can't cook!"

"As if we haven't gotten a fair share of food poisoning from your misadventures in cooking, Valon."

"I asked Rafeal if the mild was still good an' he said it was!" The brunette protested with a sniff. "Besides... a little bout of Salmonella poisoning never hurt anyone."

"Alister couldn't move for almost a week."

Valon shrugged. "The bloke's a pansy- what can I say?"

Dartz opened his mouth to give the brunette EXACTLY what he could say, when the door busted open. Behind it stood two really annoyed looking Doom bike riders and... who the Atlanta are they..? "You're late," the boss snipped for lack of anything else to say.

"Last week- didn't you say the milk was still good? You did, right?" Valon cried out, making the poor blond's head ache. "Oh, an' you didn't get the pharaoh's soul, by the way..."

"Wha-? No- I said that it had expired two weeks ago," Rafeal replied absentmindedly. "And we're late because of those two." The slightest gesture was made to the two shrimps, who had up to that point ignored the conversation and had been looking around at their new surroundings.

"Now," the brunette mused, nodding his head, "Now this place looks a bit more like a secret hideout." He adjusted his hat and continued on with a smirk, "Especially with a fellow shrimp here."

Valon caught the glance from the brunette and frowned. He pushed back his chair and stood up, easily showing that he wasn't a 'shrimp.' "I'm no shrimp, shrimp."

"Dang it; we really are in the land of giants!" The brunette elbowed his companion, taking no heed of the Australian's glares.

"Quit elbowing me, you simple-minded dino head!"

From his place leaning against the wall by the door, Alister rolled his eyes and muttered, "As if riding off the edge of a cliff on a bicycle in order to get hold of a rope ladder was ingenious..."

The green haired kid's eyes narrowed at the remark. "Well, if blondie hadn't chopped the ladder to get to... whatever that rock thingy is called-"

"A plateau?"

"-Whatever!- then we wouldn't have had to go to such drastic measures!"

"Blondie!" Rafeal growled. He had been called many things before, must of them unpleasant, but not 'blondie.' Of course, no one had stuck around long enough after their first insult to even consider calling him 'blondie'...

Rex gave Rafeal a sympathetic look. "Don't worry- he insults me all the time."

"As if I care..."

"Enough!" Dartz cried out, bringing all rising arguments to a halt. "Now- who are you two and what do you want?"  
The two stowaways exchanged looks and with a shrug the brunette turned back, replying for both, "I'm Rex and the insect brain over here is Weevil."

"Hey!"

"And we're here- ow!- 'cause we'd like ta join ya!" Rex proclaimed loudly, rubbing the spot on his head where his companion had hit him. "So... where's the sign-up sheet? Or the application form?"

Valon sat back down in his seat, still glaring daggers at the brunette. "Out back near the exit, bloke."

"You really ARE an Australian! Sweet! Ya know- my mom was supposedly from Australia, but my family never went back not even for a visit! so I never actually got to see the place and-" The daggers being thrown at the brunette was increased as Rex prattled on in excited tones. "I even know a song about da Land down unduh! Ready? Here it goes: I come from the land down unduh/ Where-"

Before anyone could restrain him, Valon had gotten out of his seat again and whacked him upside the head. "That is NOT 'ow you sing that song!" he growled out, holding up the kid by the front of his shirt.

"Uh... okay..," Rex muttered, feeling as if he was being held over a really, really, really high cliff. Very high. SOOOOOOO HIGH! Ahem... "Would you put me dow- ack!"

"Just don't start singin' that song again... And don't mess with me!"

"Valon, go sit back down and shut up. Alister, you have an extra week of cooking duty. And you can shut up too. Rafeal... well... I'll come back to you. And you two," having neatly cut through the arguments and punished his employees, Dartz could now turn his full attention on the newbies.

The two began to literally shake in their shoes and back up as a very miffed Dartz hovered over them, eyes narrowed to slits. Whimpers escaped, mostly incoherent. The words that weren't incoherent were as follows; 'I want my mommy- but don't tell anyone I said that,' and 'gerroff my foot, you dino brain! And let go of my hand!'

"Here. And stop with the shaking and whimpering already- you're acting more frightened than Valon did."

"Hey!"

"I SAID TO SHUT UP! Anyways... quit it- I leave the killing to my employees," ignoring the glares from Valon- poor guy- Dartz handed the two newbies a duel card each. A mixture expression of relief and joy filled in the empty space on their faces... until they saw the ever so lovely picture on the magic card given to them.

Rex blinked in surprise, then turned his own glare up at their new 'boss.' "Hey! These cards are blank! What kind of joke are you trying to pull, eh!" Weevil nodded in agreement, adjusting his glasses in annoyance... and once again sending light rays into Alister's sunglasses again.

"I said to SHUT UP! WHAT IS SO BLEEPIN' HARD ABOUT THAT, EH!" In more quieter tones.., "One more word out of the either of you- even you Rafeal, so make that the three of you- and you'll ALLLLLL be dueling in tutus again!" Ignoring the mouthed-out words of protests, Dartz turned back towards- or down- to Rex and Weevil. "If you can hold onto these, then your in. If you can't, then..."

"Then we can just color these in ourselves..?" Rex offered. "It'll be annoying tryin' to use a ruler to get all the lines right... but I think we can do it."

"No."

"Then we'll just get to go?"

"No."

"We win a prize?"

"Not quite."

"Uh... well, how 'bout-"

"Grr... JUST HOLD THIS FOR A SECOND!" Grabbing hold of both Weevil and Rex before they could run away in terror, Dartz forced two shards of green crystal into the boys' hands. "Now, please explode. Actually, implode; there'll be less of a mess to clean up afterwards."

Rex and Weevil exchanged uneasy glances. Exploding hadn't been on their 'To Do' lists for quite a while now. "Sorry sir," Rex said with a shrug, loosening his grip over the crystal, "but I don't feel like I'm exploding. Though my left hand feels all fuzzy."

"...Fuzzy..?"

"Yeah! Fuzzy..."

From his safe distance out of his boss's immediate reach, Valon smirked and offered, "Maybe that's because your hand is on top o' your head, mate."

"Oh... right..."

Resisting the urge to strangle something- or more likely, someone- Dartz made his way back to his seat. Stiffly, he brought the conversation back to the original topic, "Well, now that that has been taken of... Welcome, Rex and Weevil, to our little... family. And a largely dysfunctional one at that."

"As if the last two minutes haven't been enough proof of that," Weevil muttered. He went to adjust his glasses again- to keep them from sliding off and to add more sarcasm to his point- but received enough glares from the tall redhead to refrain.

"Quite," Dartz agreed from his new place in his favorite chair- complete with a cup holder. "Now, Valon and Rafeal will show you off to phase two of... initiation. Alister- go make some lunch for everybody. And this time don't burn anything. Oh! And get me an aspirin, would you?"

Ignoring the snickers from the group, the redhead muttered a 'Yes sir,' and walked off. Shortly after him came a silent Rafeal and Valon, forced to bring the chatting-like-schoolgirls Weevil and Rex to wherever they were going.

With a sigh, Dartz leaned further back into his chair. Life around here would get much more... interesting after this. At the very least, it'll make betting with Rafeal on how long Valon could stay out of a fight more entertaining.

* * *

"Wow... That's a LOT of cards!" As soon as Rafeal and Valon had pushed open the doors, Rex's eyes had bugged out at the sight of every single card ever made in the entire world displayed in numerous glass counters. He and Weevil browsed along the aisles, shooting Rafeal and Valon questions that meant nothing.

Weevil's hand strayed to his glasses and this time it was the large blond that got the reflected rays of light in his vision. "So we can take whatever card we want- right?"

Dodging out of the hopping and cursing blond's way, Valon replied, "That's right. Just not the God cards- got it? OW! That was my BLEEPIN' FOOT, bloke!"

"Why not?" Rex shoot back from his place near the back of the room. There were all of the dinosaur cards, arranged in a beautiful display of alphabetical and power order... Sniff... He could just cry from the beauty of it all...

"Crossing the streams..."

"That's from Ghostbusters."

"Right- and the same concept applies here; use the God Cards and Orichalcos together and get fried. Go' it?"

Rex winced and turned back to the display of monsters. "Ouch..."

"Exactly," Rafeal muttered, rubbing at his eyes. Now he could understand why Alister had gone into all of those barrel rolls- those glasses didn't just reflect light, they magnified its power! "Now are you two done?"

Valon leaned back against the wall, looking upwards thoughtfully. "Although... watching someone twitching and writhing in agony might be kinda've amusing..."

"We would be if we could get at the cards, dolt," Weevil replied for both of them. "It's not like we can just wiggle our fingers over the case and go 'Abra Kadabra' and get the cards."

"And it'd be an efficient way to get rid of idiots... or pests... hmmm..."

"Hey Weevil- I don't like the way that bloke is lookin' at me..," Rex whined, poking his companion in the shoulder. He kept a close eye on the slowly smiling Valon, who stopped glaring at him for the first time that day.

Ignoring the smug tones in Weevil's voice and the recent developments, Rafeal dug in his pockets for a key to open the cases. After each of them had been 'initiated' in the Doom Bikers, they had been given a copy of the key that would allow them access to the cases if they wanted to change their decks. "Hmm.. Hey Valon- do you have your key with you? I think I forgot mine..."

"And it would be interesting to watch what would happen after the duel was over... I mean- if you already died from the shock, then would your soul still be given over to the Orichalcos?"

"Valon! Snap out of it already!" Rafeal even went so far as to snap his fingers in front of the brunette's face to try to get his attention. It didn't work. "Valon!"

"And if your soul was still taken away, then would it count as a whole soul? You'd think that it'd only count as half, but who knows? Hmmm..."

Weevil's eyes narrowed. "Does he always act like this? And I thought you guys weren't drug addicts..."

"Wha-? Oh, no! We're not addicts- I quit three years ago myself- and he only acts like this when he starts thinking seriously... Valon- snap out of it, you stupid oaf!"

Suddenly inspired, Valon ran off towards the very back of the room, where the three God cards were displayed under 'spot lights.' In other words, they were illuminated by flashlights suspended by wires because the electricity bills were getting too high to illuminate the whole room with fluorescent lighting. He slipped his copy of the key out of his pocket and opened up the case, selecting the Slifer the Sky Dragon. He took his time closing up the case and walking back towards the stunned group.

"Hey Rex... ya wanna be part of a experiment..?"

Rex's eyes doubled from the mischievous tones in Valon's voice and the implication the words held. "HELP! HE'S GONNA KIIIIIIIILLLLL MEEEEEE!" Before you could say, 'Rex the Stupidest Paleontologist Ever' he was running out the door, a suddenly hyper Australian right on his tail.

"WAIT! IT'S ONLY A EXPERIMENT, MATE! NO ONE'S GONNA GE' HURT! Yet... COME BACK 'ERE!"

Weevil and Rafeal exchanged glances, shrugged, and followed at a slow pace. Why get in that mess when you can laugh as the 'victor' was punished horribly because of his idiocy?

* * *

Inside the kitchen, dressed in layers upon layers of 'protective' equipment- multiple aprons, several pairs of gloves and for whatever reason, a gas mask- Alister squeaked his way around, trying his best to not burn anything. Or get burned. For whatever reason, Rafeal had found today a good day to make hamburgers or something along those lines for lunch, as that was the only thing that was defrosted. Drat.

He turned the stove top on placed a pan gingerly on top, wincing at the hissing sound the water from the undried pan made as it hit. If Valon complained over the burnt edges or something stupid like that, he was going to get a nasty surprise; can we say a smack over the head with a frying pan that was still scorching hot?

Before he got any farther than that, though, the kitchen door banged open and in came... Rex..? The guy was screaming as loud as a singer in a bad rock concert, giving the redhead an instant headache. Valon came crashing through the door shortly after, waving a card through the air and following Rex around in circles, laughing maniacally all the way. Finally, Rex tripped over a chair leg, spilling onto the ground. The Australian was on him in a heartbeat, pinning him to the ground.

"I dare ya, pansy! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Alister watched for a few seconds, and slowly started to smile himself. This could be fun...

In one smooth moment, he whipped off the bird wing-like gloves and had the badly mixtured groundbeef and various other ingredients in hand. Taking precious little time to roll the gross concoction in a beefball- a version of a snowball- he pinned the back of Valon's head first. Before the Aussie realized what was going on, the rest of his head was covered with chunks of meat.

Rex wasn't spared either; he got nailed in the face. The carnage didn't stop there. Before the two had gotten behind a kitchen counter, they were both almost completely covered in the beefballs. Every time either one looked over the edge to see if the redhead was going to chuck another beefball, he would, making the two scurry back for cover.

Leaning back into a kitchen chair, Alister smiled to himself, rolling the next chunk of raw 'hamburger' into a beefball. Yes, this was much more fun than trying to cook. Behind him, the frying pan was starting to smoke...

* * *

Rafeal and Weevil followed the sounds of maniacal laughter easily; sound traveled easy and Valon's voice was hard to miss. Strangely, though, the laughter stopped as soon as the two reached the kitchen doorway.

"Where's this?" Weevil asked, frowning slightly. He was going to have to ask for a tour of this place, a tradition he had tried to avoid ever since he was a little kid and had been forced into tours of every single place he had gone to- even if he only going to be there for a second at most.

"The kitchen," the blond answered, opening the door. A large beefball flew out of seemingly no where's, nailing him right in the face. Weevil's frown vanished as another large beefball nailed him. "..And that would be Alister..." Rafeal continued behind a mask of impenetrable beef mixture. Hmmm... he was going to have to teach Alister how to make hamburgers someday...

The insect fanatic wiped the badly mixed burger bits off of his face, face screwed up in disgust. "So I noticed..," he growled. "Does this happen often?"

"Usually with duct tape and glue."

"Some how that doesn't surprise me much."

Rafeal shrugged and swung the door closed again, just before another beefball smacked them in the head. "C'mon- time to go."

"Go where?"

"Go buy some ingredients for apple pie."

"We're gonna make a pie..?"

"You'll see."

* * *

From behind the counter, both brunettes slowly- very slowly- came to a compromise. As soon as they had taken care of Alister, Valon would go back to chasing Rex around and trying to pound his beanie covered head in. Rex meanwhile, would happily run around, screaming himself hoarse.

"So... we agree now?" Valon asked, sticking out a hand for a handshake.

Rex took a moment to think over the terms, shrugged and shook on it. "Yeah sure- anything to get out of Psycho Pixie's way."

"Psycho Pixie? 'ey- that's wha' Rafeal called Alister when he went crazy for an afternoon!"

"...Should I ask...?"

Valon shook his head, daring a peek around the corner. The beefblob almost took off his glasses. "No. Now... we need some ammunition..."

"Would dust bunnies do?" Rex asked, holding up two tiny balls of dusty fluff. "I don't think they'd be able to travel that far though..."

"No- but I have a better idea. That cabinet nearest to us has all the ingredients we need. I'll go and try to get everything. You... try to distract the redheaded pixie." The Australian inched towards the corner.

Rex followed after him, just awaiting for a beefball to nail him in the head. "How am I supposed to distract him using dust bunnies?"

"I never said to use the dust bunnies, mate."

"..Oh.."

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Would you please stop yelling in my ear?" Rafeal shouted as loud as he could, not coming within an inch of getting over the insect fanatic's voice. The poor kid was forced to ride on the back of the blond's motorcycle, as he still didn't have a drivers license. "You're turning blue, by the way- think about inhaling; it saves lives."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Look- my driving skills are NOT that bad! You should see what Valon and Alister get themselves into! It's a miracle that Alister can still call himself a pacifist after all of those shouting matches he's gottin' into!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

"Okay, look- you stay here while I go to get the stuff, all right?" Valon asked, resisting the urge to bang his head against their only shelter. This guy was getting very annoying again... "And don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Oh- and try to learn from this; maybe you can stop being such a bloke."

"Isn't a bloke a good thing?"

"Not in the way I said it two seconds ago, bloke." Not awaiting for a reply, the brunette turned back to business, taking the shortest of looks out from behind the counter. The redheaded pixie was busily mixing more ammunition up for the disastrous beefballs and was paying little attention to what the two of them were doing. "See ya on the flip side!"

"Okay," Rex said, watching as his newly made friend suddenly leaped out and rolled along the floor towards the other side of the room. Apparently the pixie had taken notice of the new developments and started flinging more beefballs. Miraculously, none hit the Australian, and he came to a stop by banging into the wall; head first. "Ouch... that had ta hurt..."

Valon came to the same conclusion; it was after all, his head that had hit the wall. Fortunately though, it seemed that Mai was right in saying he had a very hard head- he didn't stay dazed and drooling onto his shirt for long.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Alister's singing voice called out to them. "COME ON OUT, YA PANSY!"

"So sorry, Ali- but no," Valon muttered, slowly getting to his knees. Let's see... to get to the cabinet required an ungodly amount of time to get all of the things they'd need. Oh well, the good die young. So decided he literally jumped up- was instantly nailed by a million beefballs- swung the cabinet up and grabbed every thing his hands came in contact with.

* * *

Rex relaxed against the shelter wall, continuing the head game between the two dust bunnies. "Don't leave me, Fred!" The one dust bunny that looked as though it had a badly shaped hat on said.

"Oh, but I must! I love the chick down the street far more than I could ever... EVER love you, Frieda!" The other said, turning its cheating back and 'walking' away.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Back to the real action. "AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!" With everything he had in hand, Valon leapt back over towards the 'shelter', wincing as more of the dang beefballs hit him. It seems that Alister has been working on his aim...

He landed right in Rex's lap, bringing the other brunette back to reality. They landed in a messy tangle, ingredients everywhere. "Hullo again," Valon muttered around a mouthful of beef and all manner of... things...

Rex blinked several times in surprise, but replied back civilly enough, "Hello. How long have you been gone again?"

* * *

"Weevil- do you have a quarter?" Rafeal asked, searching his pockets. He'd rather not break the dollar over a lousy twenty five cents.

Weevil muttered something obscene, but checked his own pockets. "Just use the dollar."

"Not unless if one of us has a quarter."

"Nope. But I do have two dimes and five pennies."

Rafeal rolled his eyes and asked, "May I borrow the two dimes and five pennies, then?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

* * *

Rex looked down at the crude mixture they had concocted with the flour, cinnamon, dried apple pieces and molasses that the other had managed to grab. "Will this work?"

Valon shrugged, picking up a bit of the mess and starting to shape it up in a sphere. "Well le's find out..." He brought his arm back, and barely taking the time to aim at the redheaded pixie, threw the mess. He dodged beefballs that had been thrown in retaliation. "Well... it caught 'is attention."

"VALON, YOU LITTLE BEEPIN BEEP BEEP! YOU GOT MY HAIR!"

Rex picked up a bit of the mess himself, wincing as the cold molasses got all over his fingers. "It definitely caught his attention..."

"Right. So- ready... aim... fire!"

The fight became a war of the Messy Molasses Balls versus the Dreaded Beefballs.

* * *

"I still think we should be using water guns compared to this half-baked pie filling," Weevil muttered, blowing his bangs out of his vision in one annoyed breath. The green locks went right back into their original position, annoying him even more. "By the way- how are we going to get Alister with all of this mess?"

Rafeal shrugged, shifting his share of the mix from one arm to the other. The sooner they returned Dartz's vases in their proper places- pie filling absent- the better. "I figured that if he'd calm down if we drenched him with the stuff. Ever since we used apple pie on our boss, the poor guy has been a pie phobic."

"Wouldn't it be a bad idea to drench a 'pie phobic' with pie filling?"

"Um... Maybe..."

"Do you ever think anything through, you big lousy- NOOOOOO! I'M BLIIIIIIIIIIIND!"

"Too bad you can't be mute."

Weevil tried to aim a kick at the suddenly doubled Rafeal's leg, but predictably missed and fell flat on his rear. The vase came to a dangerously close angle of spilling the contents onto himself; not that he cared. "My glasses... they... they FELL into this stupid, bleepin' VASE!"

The blond knelt down beside the insect fanatic, placing the other vase next to his knee. "Is that all?" he asked, trying to keep the grateful tones out of his voice. For the entire time he had been stuck with the kid, he had been hoping the glasses that sent the burning rays of light into his eyes would disappear. For good.

"Is that... all...? Is that... ALL! IS THAT ALL!"

"Yeah...?"

With a growl, the green haired kid whipped the vase though the air, somehow spilling the contents out over the blond's head. "IS THAT ALL!"

With a sigh, Rafeal wiped the goop off of his face in one sweep of his arm. It was good that his trench coat was going to be dry-cleaned this weekend- he'd have to kill the kid if it had already been clean. "That was uncalled for."

"Oh really..?" Weevil squinted up at the blond, trying to glare at the same time. If only his parents hadn't had to wear glasses, then he might not have had to be as blind as a bat without his glasses. "TAKE THIS, THEN!"

"What the-! HEY! Quit that!" The blond found himself scurrying to his feet, only to land back onto the ground, closer to the door with each landing. Bug toys after bug cards after bug imitation items hit him over and over again as Weevil let loose his anger.

"HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE!" Shrieking laughter literally cut its way through the air until Weevil found himself down to his last centipede. "Oh darn..."

"That's it, you little punk!" Before Weevil could even consider whaling his companion with the last bug, he found himself being thrown through the kitchen door. "Take THAT!"

* * *

For the first time in the past two days, Dartz snapped a paper clip in half. If the poor bit of metal had a voice, it probably would say something- or shout something- along these lines: "HEEEEELLLLLP MEEEEE!" or... "NO! WAIT! I HAVE FOURTEEN KIDS AND A WIFE TO TAKE CARE OF!" or... "YOU BLEEPIN' BLEEP! LET ME GO!"

Unfortunately it didn't, otherwise it would have kept the poor fools in front of him amused in their last five minutes of life.

Dartz's narrowed eyes swept across the faces of the unhappy duelists, each in a mess. Valon would have to wash out his hair for another hour, only this time to clean out the egg and beef instead of pink dye. Rafeal was going to learn that pie filling was a good substitute for glue in the most inappropriate times. Dino Dynamite Rex... well... he was actually lucky- all he was going to have to deal with was icing a few bruises that his companion had managed to land on him.

* * *

Flashback:

Their ammunition gone, Rex and Weevil shivered in their boots under the menacing shadow thrown by the Psycho Pixie. Unfortunately for them, the hits they HAD managed to get had only angered their opponent more... and now they were going to get the complete force of his anger...

Until a little known flying insect by the name of Weevil Underwood crashed through the doors, hitting the oblivious Alister in the side. Hamburger mixture crashed to the floor, spilling out onto the floor and nearby humans. Rafeal came flying in two seconds later, pinning both Weevil and Alister to the ground.

"TAKE THAT YOU PUNK! AND THAT, AND THAT, AND THAT, AND THAT! BWAHAHAHAHA- NOW YOU ARE NOT SO HIGH AND MIGHTY, EH! HEH!"

Weevil squirmed his way out of the wrestling match that had suddenly begun, crawling his slow way towards the other two. "Well," the insect fanatic muttered, collapsing against the wall beside Rex, "that was unexpected."

Rex erupted into giggles, barely managing to get out, "Way to use those flying acrobatics, Weevil- which bug did you learn that trick from, eh?"

Unfortunately for him, he learned yet again that his companion did not appreciate bug jokes. Especially at his expense.

Shifting his gaze from one wrestling match to the other, Valon couldn't help but comment to his former friend, "Wow- you can really get yourself into trouble, bloke."

End Flashback.

* * *

Weevil was probably the luckiest one; all he had to do was collect his bug collection... at the mercy of Rafeal's supervision, that is. And as for Alister... martial arts lessons. And lessons in how to dry clean kitchen gloves.

"Now... does anyone have anything to say before I give you your... punishments..?"

Rex raised a hand, "Yes, I do. Isn't that long amount of writing before where our futures were already said enough of a given punishment?"

"No. Anyone else?"

"Can I go duel Wheeler now?" Valon asked, wiping out the latest drip of beef. He was going to kill Alister for getting his hair. It was so uncalled for.

"That's my job!"

"Aw, shut it, Dino brain," Weevil muttered, waving a hand at his friend, "It's not like you can beat Wheeler anyways."

Beside him, Alister rolled his eyes... and groaned from the jolt of pain. Rafeal had given him a few good punches before he woke up and realized he didn't have green hair. Or glasses. "As if you could beat the pharaoh. Or anyone else for that matter."

"WHAT!"

Rafeal never said a word, but still managed to keep everyone quiet. One good growl was all that was needed.

If it had been possible, their boss's eyes would have narrowed even more. "ALLLLLL of you keep quiet. As for your punishments..," his eyes sweeped over the fools again, and he slowly smiled, enjoying the look on their faces as a result, "Well... How does extra chores, humiliating hobby lessons, family time together and a... switch in dueling assignments sound to you...?"

"When you say, 'switch in dueling assignments,'" Valon began, inching forward and resting a hand on Dartz's desktop, "do you mean... like... I could be chasin' after the snotty nosed Seto something or another-"

"Kaiba?"

"-shut it, pixie- instead o' Wheeler?"

Dartz smile widened, placing the two halves of the paper clip onto the desk. "You bet, Valon."

* * *

I am so sorry that this is (a) so chopped up, (b) badly written and most importantly, (c) took so long to update. Thank you all for reviewing SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! Anyways- here is where you get to do some more... Besides reviewing- which I would love to see happen - you get to vote.

Would you like Weevil and Rex to stay for a while or... to leave immediately? And when I say immediately, I mean I get 'rid' of them in the next chapter. It's your choice so... PLEASE REVIEW AND VOTE! THANK YOU SO VERY, VERY, VERY, MUCH FOR THOSE THAT HAVE WAITED THIS LONG FOR MY LAZY BUTT TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER! COOKIES FOR ALL! Once I can bake one without burning the bottom... COOKIES FOR ALL! EAT THE COOKIES! EAT THE COOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKIIIIIEEEEEEES!


	9. Team Switcheroo

Thank everyone for the reviewing! (I didn't think you'd review the very next day I submitted the chapter but... looked like I was wrong...) I am so... so... SOOOOO sorry that it has taken me weeks to write back. I'm planning to write about two more chapters and then probably submit another story and work on that. I will also work on this one, but it's probably gonna take me a while to write new chapters with the other story, too. Sorry, Again. BUT I WILL CONTINUE WORKING ON THIS! I can't help it- I like this popularity too much... This is the most reviews I've ever gotten with a story... I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH! (Which is one reason I can't just stop writing up more chapters just cause I submit another story, right? Right.) Anyways... Looks like Weevil and Rex are staying for a while- but that doesn't bug- no pun intended- anyone, does it? This is also going to be a mix between Sailor Moon- sort of- and (obviously) YGO. So... Enjoy!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or YGO, but I do own my OC. Who? You'll see. (I'll give you a hint; she's not from either show.)

Chapter: Team Switcheroo

"No- you have to hit the ball with your racket, bloke," Valon called over, ignoring the glares he received from the other side of the court. The group had escaped from the building as soon as possible, before Dartz could have made up more embarrassing punishments. Only Rafeal and Alister escaped Valon's strange idea to play a 'rousing' game of tennis.

From the far side to Valon, holding the tennis racket by the head, Rex replied, "I did hit the ball with the racket."

"And almost hit me," Weevil muttered from his position at the net. Unlike the other two, he actually knew a little bit about the game; Mostly about the injuries one could sustain while playing. And with this knowledge, he now knew one helpful thing; if the ball is headed right at you, then duck.

"That was when I served the ball!" Rex protested, waving the racket wildly.

Valon hit another ball at them, grabbing the two's attention easily. "The point is: you're 'olding the racket wrong. Grip the 'andle, bloke. Now... let's try this again. Weevil- you go back. Rex- you move up to the net before you upset another court's game. Ready? Good. HIYAH!"

The tennis ball soared over the net, taking a high bounce on the opposite side of the court and headed straight for the green haired teen's face.

"AAAIIIIEEE!"

Valon's and Rex's eyes followed the rebounded tennis ball's journey as it went high into the air. "Wow..," Rex muttered, blinking.

"Nice hit. Too bad it's in the wrong court," Valon said picking up another tennis ball. "Sorry- he just learned about hand-eye coordination two minutes ago!"

Breathing heavily and looking even paler than usual, Weevil got back to his feet, using his racket to help himself up. "You... you hit it... at my... head, you MORON!"

"You hit it, didn't you?"

"I hate this sport!" Weevil declared, kicking the tennis racket towards the chain link fence behind them. "You and dino brain here can play, but I refuse to! I'm going to go deface that stupid motorcycle..."

Valon dropped his racket to the ground and took off after the other teen. "Not my motorbike, bloke!"

Figuring that the game was officially over, Rex followed slowly behind them, even as Weevil took his first kick at the Australian's motorcycle. "I'd suggest another coat of paint if it scratches off that easily!" Rex called out, watching as Valon tackled Weevil to the ground.

"You can insult my dueling style and deck, insult my motorbike and even the way I dress," the brunette growled, pinning the perpetrator's arms down, "but NEVER EVER EVER EVER touch the bike! Never."

"You're a little late, bloke," Weevil grunted, trying his hardest to move- and predictably couldn't. "And once I get back up, I'll destroy that stupid bike which isn't even a bike- it's a MOTORCYCLE!"

Rex didn't even look once at the wrestling match. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that his companion was dead bug meat. Instead, he sat down on the seat- after setting the motorbike/cycle back up- awaiting the outcome of the match. Once he got his driver's license, he was going to get a motorcycle just like this one... with a flaming dinosaur skull- a Tyrannosaurus Rex even!- on front. Oh yeah, man...

* * *

A sudden ringing coming from the motorcycle woke Rex back up from dreamland. "Oh, hey- Valon! Your motorcycle is ringing!" He looked over at the wrestling match, wiping off the bit of drool off out of the corner of his mouth. Sometime during his nap, the two had apparently decided to finish their argument in an even more harmful sport: basketball.

"Guys..?"

The corner of Dartz's eye twitched as it came to be five minutes without anyone answering. Why is it that when one of his employees called each other, the receiving end would pick up immediately, whereas whenever he called, nobody picked up?

They must know that it's him... There's no other explanation than that.

* * *

"There's no way that you'll hit a shot from there," Valon said, keeping a wary if amused watch on the shorter teen. For the entire game, Weevil's only points had come from jump shots- mostly three's. It was the only thing that had kept him in the game against the power lay-ups Valon kept doing.

Weevil held the ball out of reach, even though the only pressure he was getting from four feet away of the half court line was Valon's shadow. "Well then, let's make this a little more interesting," he replied, taking the shortest of time to push his old glasses back up his nose. He winced as he noticed yet again that these stupid, five-year-old, wire rim, nearly broken down lenses, taped together bridge glasses weren't his beloved bug spectacles. Unfortunately, someone took his glasses, as their had been nothing left after cleaning up the vases and the hallway.

"How is this going to get anymore interesting?" Valon asked warily. The last time someone had suggested to 'make something more interesting,' he had wound up asking Mai out on a date... dressed as a girl...

"If I make it from here, than I win and you'll be my slave for a week. And if I miss... then you win and I'm your slave for a week... Okay?"

"Sounds good ta me," the brunette answered, taking a step to the side. "Go on. 'Ope you're ready to do all my chores."

"Is that the best you can come up with?" Weevil sniffed, now taking his sweet, sweet, sweeeeeeeeeet time in lining up the shot. "Honestly; you have me here, pressure practically weighing me down, and all you can come up with is that?"

Valon shrugged, smothering a smile. "Sometimes those under pressure tend to do themselves in. Especially when they're faced with having to alllllll of my wishes for a week if you miss."

"True. Of course, you're faced with the same ordeal and you don't have to deal with pressure."

"Nope."

"It only clogs your mind up with stupid 'what ifs?'."

"I can only imagine, Weevil."

"Lucky."

"I sure I am."

Trying to keep his mind focused, the green haired teen bent his knees, jumped up, letting the ball go up in a beautiful arch... It was lined up well- a little bit off, but the rest had gone right in, so why wouldn't this one?- so all that mattered was the distance... Up... up...

SMACK!

Weevil's mouth flopped open comically, eyes widening as the ball that had looked able to fly above a soaring jet was rudely stopped in it's tracks. It bounced a few times, ending back up at his sneakers. Valon's laughter brought back to the real world and his shocked face suddenly darkened into an angry one.

"REX! When I get my hands around that scrawny dino neck of yours!" the insect fanatic stomped his foot in anger, both hands shaking, bunched up into fists. To Valon, "I demand a redo- it would've gone in if it hadn't been for the idiot!"

The Australian fake wiped a tear out of his eye- although it wouldn't have surprised anyone of them if he really HAD been crying from his exertion- but shook his head to indicate a negative. "Sorry mate, but the deal was whether you made the shout or not and you didn't make it. Remember, blocks are perfectly legal in the game no matter the size of the player."

Rex, meanwhile, ignored his companion's ravings long enough to push Valon towards the still chiming motorcycle. "I imagine it's for you," he muttered, also ignoring the various punches and kicks meant to actually hit and hurt him. Still under fire, he turned around, letting the Hyena known as Valon 'walk' off- apparently the brunette didn't have much coordination when laughing.

"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!" Weevil yammered, aiming a punch at his former 'friend's head with both eyes shut.

Having been in one too many fist fights- most of them with Weevil- Rex grabbed the slightly- very slightly- shorter teen's arm and swung it away, making Weevil overbalance and fall flat on his rear. "Calm down, Weevil," Rex said, wiping the dust off of his jacket, "it's not like you bet a week's worth of servitude to him if ya missed the shot."

Weevil growled, struggling to get back to his feet. "As a matter of fact, you stupid, idiotic... STUPID PERSON, I did. And now- thanks to you, I'M THAT CREEP'S SERVANT FOR A WEEK!"

"..So..?" In the face of that tirade, Rex only blinked. He shoved his hands in his pockets- unhappily reminded that Wheeler also did that- and walked off, leaving his companion red faced and sounding as though he was suffering from an asthma attack.

* * *

Valon pressed a yellow button on the handlebars of the motorcycle, trying to keep his giggles in check. "H-hullo, Val-lon 'ere... hee, hee."

The reply was unmistakably Dartz's voice, sounding strained and annoyed. "Do you ever answer before the stupid... thing has been ringing for over twenty MILLION times!"

The brunette sat down on the seat, pretending to actually ponder over such a 'question.' "Sometimes."

There was some comment made in the background of where Dartz was, followed shortly by laughter. "I'm sure Valon would be interested in hearing that comment, Alister," their boss finally said dryly (sounding far away to the brunette, as the Atlantean was talking to someone else and not directly into the 'mike'). "And I'm sure that Miss... Valentine would too."

Valon frowned, wondering what exactly his red headed 'friend' had said. "What did 'e say?"

There was more laughter, excluding one voice. "Well, Alister- would you like to tell Valon what you said?" There was a muttered reply- presumably Alister- before Dartz came back on completely. "You can beat him up later Valon. Just bring Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum with you back here."

"Tweedle Dum... and Tweedle Dee!" Weevil practically screeched, face morphing into a miffed insect's 'face.' Rex made his own protests, but nothing that either of the two- let alone Dartz- could hear. "Why I oughta..."

"Is that Tweedle Dee?" Dartz asked. They could all hear the smile on his face in his voice. "Then Tweedle Dum is somewhere nearby, correct?"

Valon clamped a hand over Tweedle Dee's mouth before more damage could be done. "Yes, sir- for both. We'll be there in another... hmm... how long did it take us to get down here..?"

"Do you mean to leave out the five minutes of avoiding cops, three minutes worth of avoiding hitting traffic cones, ten minutes of getting lost, a minute of avoiding to ask for directions and the four minutes of being chased by that 'killer bee?'" Rex 'answered,' counting off the blocks of time on one hand.

The Australian frowned, trying to ignore the sarcastic tones in the bloke's voice. "That bee was ready ta sting me- you'd be running too, if it had buzzed at you in that tone of... buzz."

"Rrrrriiiiiiigggggghhhhht."

What could have become a World War Three fight was broken by Dartz's voice coming over again. "Killer bees? Hmm... I could use them for killing off that annoying wench that is always hanging around the pharaoh... then I could get the pharaoh once you idiot's actually get his soul... Hmm..." There was a moment of silence as all three teens looked down at the com link in shock. "Anyways- get down here. NOW."

"But sir- I hav'ta get the tennis rackets, tennis balls and that stupid basketball packed up before we can lea-"

"NOW VALON!"

"Yes sir."

* * *

For a room to go from noisy to quiet in a matter of seconds- not even that, really- is rare. But quiet it became as Valon, Rex and Weevil slid into their seats around the large wooden table.

Shortly after getting off the link, Dartz had more or less disappeared. He entered the room now- as grandly as possible-, closing the door with his feet as his hands were full. How he had managed to open the door in the first place was beyond them; some sort of Atlantean power, probably.

"Okay, so you wanted the latte... you wanted the decaf... and I wanted the chocolate eclair. Okay, then," the Atlantean shoved the items into Alister's and Rafeal's hands, still muttering to himself- lack of employee service was one of the many topics- before even recognizing the newcomer's existence. "Did you three want anything?"

Weevil and Rex exchanged glances, and the latter of the two were about to say something... until Valon effectively shut him up with a elbow to the side. "No thank you, sir. We're fine."

"Good- because I am not about to go out to Starbucks again. That place is worse than dandelions! They just keep popping up!"

"Umm... right..," Rex blinked once. "Why are we here again..?"

Dartz's glare focused on the brunette, but he answered instead of- for once- insulting. Or should one say he hadn't a good insult to use that wouldn't have been repetitive..? "To get your new mission of course. Duh."

From far down the table, Alister winced at the 'duh.' Dartz couldn't for his life say anything that could be termed as 'teenager talk.' (Although 'duh' isn't reallllly that 'teenagerish... Well- even after ten thousand years, the guy STILL couldn't say it.)

"Oh."

"Right," the Atlantean rolled his eyes, ducking a hand under the table to pick up a hat he had hidden before. "Now- I'll pick names out of this hat, and- now why are you all laughing!" Angrily, he dropped- pounded- the paper filled, large, Mexican straw hat onto the table. "It's the only hat in the ENTIRE building... not counting helmets, that is... ALL RIGHT ALREADY! SHUT UP!"

The group more or less quieted, although there was the occasional giggle. Just the thought of where Dartz had FOUND the hat got them into giggles or snorts of mirth. The only smile that wasn't plastered on any of their faces was poor Rafeal; who had somehow spilt a large quantity of coffee onto himself during the laughing fit.

Dartz had the thinnest smile on his face that the five had ever seen. "You know something... I do believe that you all deserve... worse punishments than this one..."

The laughing died immediately. "You don't really mean that... do you, sir?" Rafeal finally asked for all of them after a long. drawn out. paaaaaaauuuuuuuuuse.

Their boss's smile grew wider, more natural. "You shall see. You... shall... see..." Enjoying the dismayed and uneasy looks on their faces even more, he went on, "Anyway. I put folded pieces of paper in here with all of your names- including Ms. Valentine, wherever she is..."

"-hopefully not dueling Wheeler," Valon growled, momentarily forgetting the possible foreboding 'punishment' looming slowly into sight.

"Wherever she is-" Dartz repeated, casting the Australian a dark look, "and the papers also have the names of the... targets on them..."

"Most Wanted Soul Number 1, 2 and 3?"

Rex's face scrunched up in puzzlement; it was another tiny detail that had been left out in Valon's recount of a 'regular day.' "Who are they?"

Weevil made a face and smacked his little minded companion over the head. He enjoyed it too; immensely. "In descending order: Yugi, Wheeler, and then Kaiba. Dolt."

"..oh.," the brunette replied, trying to ignore the newly rising lump on his head. "Who's Dolt?"

"A certain Dino-Breath I know."

"..ah.. Who's he?"

"BACK TO BUSINESS NOW- and no, there's no one who's soul is targeted and is known as 'Dolt,'" Dartz cast one last glare around the table at them all, just daring for one to open his mouth and say something. Just one little word and they'd become lunch for the worms... "Now- I'm going to draw a name out of the hat. If it's one of you guys, then the next name that is a TARGET will be your new assignment. Understood?"

Valon, Alister and Rafeal nodded calmly, all of them used to this sort of things. Weevil shrugged it off, figuring it was one of his boss's idiosyncrasies he'd have to get used to- if he wanted to live, that is.

Now, as for Rex...

"What if you draw one of our names- lets say Mai- and then the next one you draw is, say.., Valon's?" the brunette snapped off, oblivious to the practically fire-breathing ten thousand-year-old right in front of him. "Does that mean that one of them has to get the others soul? Who would win in that duel? I hope it'd be Mai... she's prettier than Valon... and less bad-tempered and blood thirsty..."

Weevil didn't get the privilege to hit the nincompoop; Valon stole the first open opportunity. The dinosaur fanatic never knew what hit him- not that it stopped him either. In fact, the only thing that happened was another 'what if?' question popped into his mind.

"Or what if it's Wheeler versus Yugi? We can't 'make' them fight each other- not unless if one of us dressed up as one and somehow convinced Joey or Yugi that we're Yugi or Joey... Would that even work? I mean- who among us is short enough (but not too short) to be Yugi and who among us would dare brave the fashion dead clothes Wheeler wears?"

"Rex- do you want to live?" The mouthing off duelists 'friend' asked as a warning, warily watching as their boss seemed to completely ignore Rex and dig around the hideous hat. The Atlantean came up with what looked like a roll of duct tape, smiled and flung it over at Valon.

"If you would do the honors, Valon..."

The Australian ripped off a piece of tape, grimacing at the fate lying in store for the motor mouth. He STILL gets nightmares from... well... you know... "Gladly." And with that, he slapped the piece of sticky evil over the fiend's mouth, muffling his words. "Dang it- he's pretty loud!"

"You could say that again," Weevil muttered, pushing his glasses- but not his beloved ones!- back up. No one else in the entire WORLD could know how long and loudly Rex could ramble on for. NOBODY.

"Almost... done... There we go!" Having slapped on enough duct tape over the lower half of Rex's face to suffocate a horse, Valon tossed the roll of duct tape back towards Dartz. He caught it smoothly and put it aside- as a warning to others. "Although it does make you wonder... what would happen if- oh never mind, I won't say anything more!"

Looking calm and possibly just the slightest bit happy, Dartz plucked a random paper out of the hat, opened it and read it the name aloud. "Burger King's Whopper on sale for 2.99..."

"Wrong side, sir," Alister pointed out, trying hard not to smirk. He didn't want any more anger directed at him than how much there already was.

"I know that! Ahem... Valon."

The Australian looked up. "Yeah?"

Ignoring the question, Dartz pulled out another piece. Show me the name... "Valon."

"Yes?"

Another piece. "Valon..?"

"What?"

"Valon?"

"What!"

"HOW MANY BEEPIN' VALON'S ARE THERE IN HERE!"

"WHAT!"

"QUIT WHATTING ME!"

"THEN STOP CALLING ON ME!"

Muttering darkly, Dartz upended the hat, spilling what looked like a million papers out. "What in bleepin' bleep Atlanta!" Choosing a paper at random he opened it and read it. "Valon. Another Valon. ValonValonValonValonValonValonValon..."

"WhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhat?"

"Rafeal! How many dang Valons did you put in here!"

The blond blinked once, taking a sip of coffee before answering. "I only put two in 'cause you said Valon might have to do two missions... Which doesn't make much sense to me since there's Weevil and Rex..."

"Then why are there so many slips of papers with his name on it?" Dartz exclaimed loudly, gesturing to the large pile. "This doesn't look like two slips!"

"Well..," Rafeal reluctantly admitted after another long pause, "Alister took over the job... and 'added one or two more,' according to him, anyways."

The Atlantean's glare shifted to the redhead, who's own glare was directed at Rafeal. "Oh really?"

"Yes sir."

"Ah... well then... Alister- HOW MANY BLEEPIN' SLIPS DID YOU ADD! Or does this entire pile belong to Aussie over there!"

Valon's cry of protest fell onto death ears. Alister took a moment to consider his answer, shrugged and replied, "I honestly don't know."

Blink. "What do you mean... 'don't know?'"

"Well, I went through about ten sheets of paper."

"Ah." Dartz leaned back in his chair again, whipping a ball-point out of his jacket. "Then I'm just going to assign you all new targets. Starting with... Valon."

"What?" Valon asked, whacking an unfortunate loud mouth known as Rex who had unwisely started to 'snicker.'

"I'm assigning you a new target."

"Oh. Why didn't you say that the first time?"

Dartz rolled his eyes and grabbed a random piece of paper out of the pile. On the back he wrote Valon's name down in neat script and an arrow next to it. "You're new target... is... Kaiba." Beside the arrow he wrote down the CEO's name.

"Wait- why can't I go against Wheeler? I actually have a reason to hate him."

"Alister- you get Wheeler. I hope you can handle him- according to Aussie, he's been punched out more than once by the blondie."

The redhead's eyebrow shot up. "I thought it was the brunette pinhead that hit him, since he never lost to Wheeler in a fist fight... according to Valon, that is..."

Rex and Weevil began to giggle as the brunette's face reddened, then began to laugh hilariously as Rafeal added his point to the story. "I thought that Mai's doorknob was looking worse for wear..."

Casting a death threat at them all- ignored by Dartz, snickered at by Rex and Weevil, and smiled knowingly at by Alister and Rafeal- Valon muttered something and sat down.

"Right... well, enough of that," Dartz smiled to himself, "back to business. Now... Rafeal... You're new target... uh... here- that blond in that picture. She's been annoying me."

"Does she have a name?" Rafeal asked, studying the picture carefully.

"Yes... Moon something... no- something Moon- but her real name is Serena Usagi."

"What! Wait- let me see that!" Before anyone had the chance to react, Alister had taken the picture. "She does exist... sigh..."

Rafeal blinked once, not at all unhappy at the loss of the paper. That smiling girl looked just as annoying as Dartz claimed she was, and he was NOT looking forward to this mission.

* * *

(In some house in a neighborhood deceptively close to Tokyo Tower)

Grouped with a large supply of various plushies, a blond hyperactive teenage girl hugged the plushies closer to her chest. She flopped over onto her stomach in between two of her closest- and only- friends; one who was trying to read a Quantum Physics book as her four other friends insisted on watching the latest Yu-Gi-Oh! marathon. The other gave the blond a slight look- almost everything she did drove the raven haired girl up the wall- but turned back to the TV. She'd never admit it, but her favorite character- and in her opinion, the cutest; not that wild horses could EVER drag that out of her- had just come on again.

The blond hugged the plushie even closer, blue eyes large and glittery as her own favorite- and the most agreed upon cutest hottie on the show- had just come on himself. The three other girls- including herself- squealed in delight, driving their Quantum Physics reading friend up the wall.

"Could you guys please keep the squealing down?" The blue haired girl asked with a sigh. "They're not real people, anyway!"

"That is where you're wrong, Amy," the only brunette declared happily. With her foot, she hooked the strap of her book bag and dragged it over to her. She sifted through its contents while trying to keep a close eye on the show- and the guy that also has a striking resemblance to her ex boyfriend- and finally came up with a messy pile of papers. "Here is ample proof that at least SOME of the hotties on this show are real."

The other blond sitting next to Lita- the brunette- snatched the papers out of her hands, eyes as wide as saucers. Her eyes only widened as she saw the pictures, as what the papers were. "Ohmigod! THEY DO EXIST!" She more or less handed off the papers to the other blond, who sorted through those quickly with the raven haired girl looking over her shoulder. Amid squeals and giggles of delight, Mina dug through her own school bag. "Serena! Where's your year book? Do they go to our school!"

Amy gently took one paper out of Serena's hands, and nearly lost her place in her book. Amid a crowd of people in a very busy city street, there were the three new 'cuties' on the show, calmly walking along like normal people. Still, a part of her mind couldn't help but hang on to sanity. "You guys do know that with the technology at bored peoples' hands today- ANYONE can fake a picture like this?"

Raye- the raven haired teen- answered for all of them, "Amy- they're real." And even that was only when she could find the strength to tear her violet eyes up from the page of Serena's yearbook. "Ohmigod- that looks just like that brunette, whatshisname, Valon!"

"He's mine," Mina declared, "You can take Alister."

"If Alister was a brunette and wore a baggy shirt, he'd look just like my ex!"

Serena turned the page, after knowing quite well that the last picture wasn't Valon- Raye needed glasses. She, along with the rest of the gang- except for Lita herself- replied, "Lita- you say that about every guy you come across who's tall."

Ignoring the new developments as best as he could- he had plenty of practice since the first day the three of them had been brought together- Dartz wrote down the last three names, in this order: Mai, Rex, Weevil.

"Who's left to get?" Weevil asked, thinking he'd probably be stuck with dueling the wimps in the Los Angeles area. It didn't get much worse than that. "Can I go after the pharaoh?"

Taking his time to consider that, Dartz shrugged. "No; you're not the next one on the list."

"But does that mean he's my... target?"

"Only if you agree to mop the floors of this entire building with a toothbrush."

Weevil considered the chore for a second, held back his pride and nodded. "Okay; when and where should I start?"

Blink. "Mai will go after... hmm... She'll go after... Ah- I'll get back to her. Rex, you're going after-"

The brunette's eyes shut and he crossed his fingers- also trying to cross his toes for extra good luck. "Please be Wheeler, please be Wheeler, please be Wheeler," he 'chanted' 'softly,' only to be ignored- and disappointed. (It had come out muffled, like such: "Pleath be Wheelth, pleath be Wheelth, pleath be Wheelth.")

"-the Pharaoh. With Miss Valentine. Good- that takes care with you two. Now, as for you, Weevil..."

The green haired teen's eyes had narrowed to slits. "You said that if I performed a ridiculous and humiliating task, than I'D get to duel the Pharaoh. And I agreed. BUT you give the job to a drama queen and Mai. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO GET A SOUL FOR YOU IF YOUR GOING TO JUST KILL MY HOPES AND DREAMS!"

Dartz blinked once, and calmly wrote down one word. "You're going to do chores."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, or as soon as Rafeal could pry the picture of his new target out of Alister's hands, and the dejected feeling teens were thrown out. Making sure they had everything with them- decks, duel systems, picture, pepper spray, another pair of socks, etc.- they grumbled their way outside with their motorbikes- Rex 'borrowing' Mai's- and, still grumbling, took off for their targets.

Weevil grumbled as he watched the four of them take off before he went about cleaning the floors with a toothbrush. He realized that one of his boss's other idiosyncrasies was to take things FAR too literally. It would make for an interesting game of 'Truth or Dare' but not when it concerns doing chores...

It didn't help his temper ten minutes later when Dartz walked by, muttering absent mindedly to him, "Brush in a circular motion, dolt," before slamming another door behind him. Weevil shouted various obscene phrases- most of which started with 'bug'- and threw toothbrush and bucket after his boss. Fortunately for him, he had no aim and Dartz didn't notice anyways.

* * *

Swerving to avoid hitting Rafeal's front tire, Alister swore under his breath from yet another bump hit the back of his motorcycle. Looking over his shoulder- and missing the glare directed at him from Rafeal- the redhead could see the brunette fix the helmet over his head- poorly adjusted and the purple color clashing with his green hat horribly- and trying to drive with one hand.

"Watch where your going, would you!" Alister called back, moving his motorcycle a good thirty feet away from Rex.

"What?" Rex called up, nearly going in a circle as the handlebar did a nasty trick of their own; twisted suddenly. Next to him and swearing worse than a sailor, Valon braked, barely missing Rex. The Australian gave the teen a glare and started forward again, zooming through the gap Alister had made and trying his best to stay away from the disaster.

Rafeal spared a glance over his shoulder to locate Rex and inwardly shuddered. The idiot was now right behind him and for some reason, that didn't make the blond feel any better... "Would you please drive away from me?" he asked, his voice barely above the roar of the engines.

"WHAT!" Rex shouted again, his vision momentarily blocked as the helmet fell forward again. Whatever Mai had done to her helmet- it was indeed hers, right down to the overpowering lilac stench rising from it and assaulting his unprotected noise- there was no way anyone would be able to fix it by just adjusting the chin strap length.

Valon slowed done just enough for the other two to catch up and for just long enough to growl out, "We should just strap him to the nearest cactus and leave him!" Noting the agreeing nods from the other two, he sped up again, muttering out curses as the fiend's tire came dangerously close to the back tire on his motorcycle. "Mai's gonna kill you if you mess up her motorbike, mate!"

Rex frowned and pushed the helmet back up. "It's a motorcycle, bloke! Oh fer crying out loud! This is a stupid helmet!"

"WATCH THE ROAD NOT THE HELMET!"

"Opps... sorry Alister..."

* * *

"All right, Tristan," Joey Wheeler growled out, slamming the hood down on the group's only transportation in this desert, "you are no longer allowed to drive." The brunette still sat behind the wheel, vainly hoping that the only problem with the smoking car was a flat tire. His hopes vanished, and he made his slow way out of the car. Next to the door, also hoping the only problem with his car was a flat tire, Duke Devlin went into hysterics.

Or close enough to it. "TRISTAN! This is my ONLY car- and the ONLY car that we can use in this season and the next! Why did I let him drive! Why? WWWWWHHHHHYYYYY!"

Wincing from the wails and hoping the crazed state of mind all of his friends seemed to be going through at the moment wasn't as catching as it looked like, Yugi Mouto and Tea Gardner silently shut the car doors gently closed. "Ya know, Duke," Yugi started hesitantly- who knew what he might do now?-, "the car just overheated. It'll be fine once it cools down... I think..."

"You think? You... THINK!" After downing three packs of pixie stix- although with Joey, Tristan and Serenity- Duke didn't mind if the girl of his dreams saw him bury his face in his hands and start 'crying.' Serenity Wheeler placed an awkward hand on the teen's shoulder, opened her mouth to say something comforting... only to find herself being bear hugged. "Oh Serenity, you are so... so... NICE AND-"

"GERROFF MY SISTER, DUKE!" Joey half growled, half shouted as he wrestled the offender to the ground. The pummeling commenced, even as Serenity made her slow, dazed way out of the rising dust cloud.

She turned around momentarily. "Be careful, Joey!" she called once before moving towards the car. The girl made it- barely. She flopped down on one of the upholstered seats, trying to get her breath back.

Yugi sighed once, his instincts telling him to go stop the fight... yet also saying that brushing his teeth right now would get the dust off of his tongue. Besides- it'd be a wasted effort; Joey wouldn't stop throttling Duke Devlin until the latter started to turn blue.

Out of the corner of his eyes, another rising dirt cloud appeared, easily getting his attention. "Hey guys... looks like we're gonna get some company..."

"What kind of company?" Tea asked warily, absentmindedly giving Serenity a comforting pat over the head... if such said 'pat' didn't include the girl slumping down in a faint. "I'm not sure... I mean- how can you tell if one dust cloud signals good company and another dust cloud signals bad company?"

Joey paused in throttling Duke for a precious two seconds. Just enough time to answer his best bud's question. "If there's evil laughing, bad yet 'frightening' music or one of Tea's friendship speech's bein' said over a megaphone, than bad. If the biker's are ridin' pink motorcycles and the biker's are chanting anti-Tea Friendship speeches, then good."

"Oh..," Yugi paused for a moment, cocking his head to one side to see if he could hear any bad music or friendship related speeches. "All I hear are loud motorcycle engines. Why can't they put mufflers on those things..?" He paused again, then added, "I think Joey would object to you holding his sister- even if she just fainted- Tristan."

The brunette glanced worriedly over at Joey and the slowly suffocating Duke then back to Yugi. "Hey- she fainted into my arms, 'kay Yug?"

The blond shrugged, opened his mouth to reply when a flying Joey Wheeler sailed through the air towards Tristan. "YOU GET YER GRUBBY HANDS _OFF_ OF _MY_ SISTER, TRISTAN!" The wrestling match continued, this time the wrestlers being Tristan and Joey instead of Duke Devlin and Joey.

Yugi sighed once more, wondering whether he'd have any better chance of stopping this fight than the other one. Tea cautiously removed Serenity out of the fray by one sneakered foot, hoping that Joey wouldn't turn on her. He thought his sister was such a saint. Puhleaze- if he had even listened to ONE of her secrets, he'd lock her up in a closet.

By the time Tristan was throttled to Joey's satisfaction, Duke and Serenity were conscious again and Yugi finally made up his mind that no matter what, there was no chance for him to stop the fight, the arriving company had arrived.

The first three slowed and stopped smoothly beside the red car, while the last ran right into the back- moving it forward about three feet. "Opps..," the last muttered after removing his helmet. "You have insurance right..?"

The lead biker whipped off his helmet and chucked it at the last one. "Can you drive without running into anything for two seconds!" With that done, he turned his glaring blue gaze on the silent group. "Hey! Wheeler! Ya wanna duel?"

"Valon," another biker removed his helmet, tucking his under his arm instead of hitting the groaning biker behind them, "Your new target is Kaiba and he is obviously not here right now. So put your helmet on and move it before I-"

"Hey, Alister," the biker 'Valon' turned around in his seat, happily ignoring the blond (and enjoying the furious expression on his face), "ya wanna switch targets? I get Wheeler... you get Kaiba?"

The last biker shrugged, nodded once. "Fine by- no. Never mind, not a good idea. Nope." If there was one thing scarier than Dartz's tries at different hair styles- pig tails... braids... etc.- than it was having the blond hulk glare at him like that. "So sorry- but I have to go now."

Valon rolled his eyes once and dismounted. "Right- well, exCUSE me, but I have to go find KAIBA since this PANSY won't switch targets. Rex, give me my helmet, would you?"

Tea snapped her jaw closed, suddenly recognizing the brunette. "Ohmigod! The cashier is in a gang!"

Receiving his helmet from the dazed Rex, the Australian rolled his eyes and walked back to his motorcycle. He pointed once at Joey, "You're mine once this pansy loses his duel and I win mine," but got back on his motorcycle and took off, with Rafeal in pursuit.

Alister removed his helmet, running a hand through his hair to make sure it was okay. "You're Wheeler, right? Good- I challenge you to a duel for your soul. Let's make this quick, okay? I have to go beat Kaiba before the Aussie does."

Behind the car and trying to find out how the new duel disk worked, Rex spotted the Pharaoh out of the group. "Oh, and I'm supposed to beat you, Yugi. Umm... Alister- how do these things open up again..?"

"You have to turn it on, dolt."

"Oh..."

Joey took his sweet time in finding his deck. He knew he'd seen the red head somewhere before... but where? Realization dawned into place as memories came back to him. "Hey... weren't you that mailman on that airplane? You went after Kaiba, didn't you? And then elbowed me when everyone ended up in a big pile."

"Uh... yeah... but thanks to Aussie I'm not a... mailman anymore. Idiot made me lose my job."

"Yeah. You called me a banana toting idiot, right?"

"No. That was Valon throwing voices again. He was laughing when you started that wrestling match over that 'insult.'"

Yugi glanced over at his opponent, who was still trying to find the 'on' button. Hmm... he had some time to kill apparently. "Did you ever get to mail all those letters and stuff?"

Tristan rolled his eyes, although that was somewhat difficult to do thanks to Joey's friend taps. "You four were held in airplane security for five hours, Yug. We had to practically take your Grandfather to the Hospital 'cuz he thought he was gonna have a heart attack if you had tried to bomb the plane."

Tea nodded solemnly. "But the question should be: Why did they let you and the cashier go?"

* * *

He thought he'd have to kill Valon if he asked that stupid question once more. Just once and the Australian was going to find himself in a fiery wreck at the edge of a desert road. Just once, Valon... just once...

"Hey, Raffy," almost as if the blond's thoughts had cued the teen into asking, Valon tried one last time, "what if, Dartz didn't find out that me and Alister switched targets. AND he wouldn't bother punishing us anyways if he brought in both of their souls. So... how 'bout I turn around right now and-"

"Valon, have you ever experienced being in a fiery wreck before?" Rafeal cut in with a growl.

"Uh... I saw one once on TV..," the Australian answered honestly, "but the special effects were cheap so it wasn't so much a fiery wreck as it was smoky. Besides, after the 'counselors' saw what we were allowed to watch back in... school... then they blocked all the channels accept for Barney, Looney Tunes- which they were trying to get rid of, but didn't in the end- and Sailor Moon. And let me tell you- after seeing one episode of Sailor Moon, I can't understand how Alister can watch that junk."

"Sailor Moon?"

"Yep."

"Then from watching Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes and Barney, that's why you are the way you are?" Rafeal asked. He found this a very likely explanation, considering the tortures he had to watch when his younger brothers and sisters stole the remote control from him.

Valon considered it for a minute. "I guess..."

"Ah."

Suddenly, an oddly shaped aircraft zoomed by overhead, roaring once. The two Doom Bikers watched after it, blinking a few times. Rafeal broke the silence, "Didn't that look like a Blue Eyes White Dragon?"

Valon nodded. "Yeah.. an' there's my target riding away. See ya later, Raffy!" Disregarding the use of roads and the dangers of not using them, he turned off onto the 'dirt' next to him, taking off right behind the aircraft. Or as close as he could come to 'right after it.'

With a shake of his head- sooner or later Valon was going to wind up performing a rather fancy trick over some canyon and find himself two weeks later in a hospital- Rafeal sped up. The sooner this embarrassing mission was over, the better.

* * *

"Are you ready yet, Rex?" Yugi- Yami, actually- asked, sounding, looking and completely bored. It didn't get worse than having an incompetent opponent trying to take your soul. After all, if you want some evil person trying to basically kill you, then it should be a genuine evil person- not stupid and incompetent.

The brunette smacked the duel disk, successfully getting it to light up. "Um... it should be ready now," he replied, awaiting for the usual metallic noises as the playing field slid out. Nothing. "Uh... I think my duel disk is rebelling, Alister- how do you open this again?"

Repressing the urge to yawn- that was just too insulting. Usually.- Yugi rolled his eyes and said, "How about this? If you can't get the duel disk working by the time their duel is over-" he gestured to where Joey and Alister were 'dueling' by way of shouting whether activating a trap card BEFORE your turn started was illegal or not- "then we duel some other time. I'd hate to say it... but this getting rather tiresome..."

"Yer on, pharaoh," Rex growled, giving the disk on his arm another smack. "But you better not fall asleep yet or else you'll lose your soul by forfeit!"

"Oh? How?"

"You can't duel and sleep at the same time."

Yugi's face erupted into a grin. "Try me."

The brunette took one step backward at the psychotic grin on the usually docile and goody-goody two shoes Yugi Mouto. He always KNEW there was an evil side to that kid... "Fine- go ahead and nap. THEN we'll see if you can duel while yer asleep."

"Okay." Getting a more comfortable position against the cold metal of the tire, Yugi obediently closed his eyes and fell asleep, much to the alarm of the real Yugi Mouto and his friends.

The vapor that could only be seen by Yami tried to roughly shake the sleeping form awake, and found the task impossible as his misty hands sank right through his head. Which, he discovered, was quite disturbing. _WAKE UP, YAMI, YOU BAFFOON! THERE IS NO WAY I'M GONNA LOSE MY SOUL TO SAVE YOURS WHEN YOU'RE BEING STUPID!_

Nothing.

_Sigh... _

* * *

The heated argument slowly washed away, leaving the two duelists with bad headaches and tempers to match. The redhead resisted the urge to rub his temples, growling out, "Look. Once you set a trap card down in an earlier turn, you can ACTIVATE AT ANY TIME DURING THE REST OF THE DUEL. Look it up if you don't believe me."

Joey Wheeler crossed his arms, stubbornly shaking his head. "No. You look it up in da rule book and prove that you ken do dat. Till then... I'm not going."

"Then you lose by forfeit as I'm not standing around waiting for you because you feel like being an idiot," Alister replied, snapping his hand on top of his deck in the slot. "So long, been good ta know ya."

"We didn't agree on a time limit, so I don't forfeit. Look it up if ya don't believe me."

The redhead's eyes narrowed to slits, making the world look as though it was all horizon and nothing over two centimeters tall existed. "For someone who claims to despise Valon, you act amazingly like him."

Well. That got his attention. "I do not!"

"I'm the one who has to live with that Aussie. Trust me- you do."

"Do not."

"Too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Snot."

"Stoo."

"Snot."

"Stoo."

"PROVE IT!"

Alister shrugged, and began counting off the similar behaviors on his hand. "One- you are as stubborn as he is, although he's less babyish about it. Two- you have an accent that is distinct among the rest of your group of friends. Just like Valon is the only Australian in ours. Three- you both like fist fights and try to bait your rival into a fight at any time. Appropriate or not. Four- you both annoy me for the same reasons. Five-"

"That last one shouldn't count, since your listing how we're similar," Joey pointed out for lack of anything else to do. "And you didn't explain the reason well enough."

"That's one reason why you two bug me- you both insist on ridiculous and hypocritical... stuff. Five- you both like that... girl... Mai Valentine. Six- you both are willing to practically throw yourselves over the edge of a cliff for her. Seven- neither of you has managed to capture her heart, which only makes the whole rivalry between you two more... stupid. Face it: she hates both of you, so why not go after a more likely target?"

"Like who?"

Another shrug. "Why not her?"

Joey glanced over his shoulder to see who his opponent was pointing to and felt his blood boil. "That's my SISTER, you FREAK!"

"Oh... Sorry, Wheeler's sister. Well then, why not her?"

"Umm... Duke's a guy."

Alister felt his face get hot and it took almost all of his willpower to keep from- a- running off in embarrassment to only be humiliated later for his mistake or- b- punch the infuriating blond in the face and be done with it all ready. "Uh- I'm- uh- sorry..," he stammered out, wincing the slightest bit from the teen's rock melting glare.

Joey, meanwhile, was rolling around on the ground in glee, laughing his heart out.

* * *

"Wait, they're in Los Angeles right now, aren't they?" Serena asked in a whisper to her group of giggling friends- with the exception of Amy. She received various looks and glares, but got the message. 'Yes.' "We need five tickets to Los Angeles, California in U.S. of A," she said to the person on the other end of the phone.

"All right. That comes to... 545 dollars."

The blond mouthed the sum off to her friends, who, in turn, gaped but nodded silently. If they're 'fund raising' plan went as planned, they should have enough. "Thank you; we'll be paying in cash. This plane is for tomorrow, right? Ah, okay- eight thirty am tomorrow. Okay. Right. Williams. Yep. No, that's okay. Uh-huh... right... okay... OKAY, I GET THE POINT ALREADY! BUT I HAPPEN TO HAVE A LIFE OF MY OWN AND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE THIS SALES PITCH BE ABSENT FROM IT! Oh? Sorry... yes, thank you. Bye!"

Amy marked her place in her latest book with her bookmark. "Well... that probably could have gone better," she said, referring to the shouting.

Serena shrugged it off. "We have work to do gang; now, let's get Operation: Bake and Sell Cookies underway!" She snatched up a carefully wrapped up package of chocolate chip cookies up and ran out of her room, followed closely by the others, each holding they're own packages of cookies themselves.

* * *

That had been yesterday and far behind them now. Serena Usagi looked eagerly out the window of the bus, eyes taking in everything- shops, people, shops, cute guys, shops and, of course, shops- in one swoop. She turned to Raye, who had by vote been voted to sit with the blond throughout the bus ride. "Do you think we'll see them before we have to leave again?" she asked all in a rush.

Raye Hino shrugged noncommittally. Back in Serena's house in Tokyo, this had seemed totally plausible. Roam around the Los Angeles City for three guys- or the others, the 'good' guys-, hopefully get their phone numbers or addresses or whatever people in America did, then ride a three hour ride back home. Hopefully before the weekend back home went by and their parents realized they weren't on a school trip.

"I hope so, Serena," she finally replied. "And if we do, which one do you think we'll meet first?"

Serena took another glance outside the window, hoping that one of them would be there- no luck there- and replied, "I hope it's that cutie with the Australian accent... Whathisname... Valon? Yeah..."

Mina leaned over from her aisle seat across from them, whispering, "I hope we see Duke first- then that whole feud between him and Tristan over Serenity would be over!"

Next to her, Lita checked her hair for the umpteenth time in a pocket mirror. "And then he'll also have a certain blond for his boyfriend, right, Mina?" She giggled good naturedly as the blond threatened to tickle or punch her.

"Well what about you, Miss Is My Hair Okay?" Mina asked dryly, sneaking a glance through the mirror to check her own hair.

Lita giggled again. "Oh, I hope it's one of the taller guys... It'd just be weird to suddenly run into Weevil or Rex. Even Yugi for that matter... They're all so short! I'd probably step on them at least a dozen times..."

One row in front of the four and trying to keep up with her studies as always, Amy winced again at the sudden string of giggles from her friends. If those poor fellows knew who was joining their fan clubs, they'd be running for cover in a nuclear bomb shelter. She turned around to tell them to keep it down a bit- who knew if they're targets were even on the bus?- only to be faced with the same question.

"Who do you want to run into first, Amy?"

The blue haired teen considered this carefully, seriously. She knew they probably wouldn't consider to be a potential girlfriend since she lived in Tokyo and they in America... "I don't really care. I know already that they're probably not going to ask us out or anything-" the statement received good hearted boos, which she ignored, "and considering that, I'd have to say Kaiba or Dartz. Just for the conversation, you see."

"You want to talk to a ten thousand year old, Amy?" Serena asked slowly. "Or a snotty eighteen-year-old who would probably ignore you..? I think you have some self esteem issues, Amy..."

* * *

The girls departed from the bus at the last stop. The scene here on a street corner to a large market place was oddly thinly populated compared to the bustling streets and sidewalks of the other roads. Giggling as always they marched into the crowd, spotting up every now and again to the observer off the edge of the fray.

There... that blond right there. Was that her? Rafeal dug the now disfigured picture he had gotten from his boss- Alister really didn't want to let go for whatever reason- and checked it. Yep, that's the one. Too bad he had to find her in this busy area. Could be worse though; it could be raining.

He left his motorcycle parked on the other side of the street, trying to ignore the glances he got from some market goers. Honestly, you'd think they had never seen a guy in a black trench coat riding a motorcycle in Los Angeles before. Despite his outwardly 'strange' appearance- to everyone else, that is- he melted easily into the crowd, slowly and steadily closing the gap between him and the target.

Her group had foolishly decided to split up, leaving her alone to browse the stalls and practically started crying every time she found something she really, really, really liked. Supposedly. She paused in front of another street, where the market branched off to other venders and stalls. Taking a look around and shrugging, she walked down that way. He started after her, pausing only as someone else he had sometimes seen out of the corner of his eye beat him to her.

Frowning just the slightest bit- why the beep did this person always show up!- he followed, keeping a wary eye on the new factor in this. The girl slung a friendly arm around the blond- does that mean they know each other? How?- and steered her down an- what?- alleyway.

Not caring now how much he stood out, Rafeal sped up his pace, slowing down only when he came to the entrance of the alleyway where his target and the other one had gone down. The two were talking, one in a high-pitched school girl's voice, the other had a deeper, more persuasive voice.

"You said there was a stall down here, uh... what was your name again?" the school girl asked, wary.

The other one chuckled, freaking- in a sense- Rafeal out a little. There was something rather... evil in that voice, but just somber enough not to be noticed. Until it was too late of course. "You are one stupid girl for believing everything I said," the second one replied smoothly. "There is a lesson for you to learn- don't be so trusting. Not like you'll get to use your new knowledge anymore... not in this world, that is."

"Hey! Let me... GO!" There was a sound of a punch and then that small chuckle again. Rafeal edged slowly to the corner, unsure of whether to continue around and -gag- 'help' his target from the psycho... or... well...

Before he could have possibly done anything, though, there was suddenly a sickening crunching noise and a something heavy fell to the paved ground. No one around on the street apparently noticed.

"Nighty-night, Sailor Moon," the evil voice said softly, followed shortly by the sound of boot heels tapping on the ground. Rafeal waited for the owner of the boots to come out, but they never did. Frowning in puzzlement and no longer caring who saw him now, he moved into action, quickly entering the alleyway.

Only the crumpled form of the blond- her neck twisted unnaturally, eyes glazed and unseeing- was there.

Knowing full well that cops liked to question any witnesses- and even more when they realized their witness had the smallest connection to the victim; he did, after all, have a mission to steal her soul- he took a quick glance around the alleyway for the killer, predictably spotting nothing. He turned quickly on his heels, and was taken completely by surprise when a girl at least two heads shorter than him grabbed his neck and pushed him hard against the wall. Conveniently out of sight of the street beyond.

"How long were you standing there?" the girl hissed, her dark eyes narrowed and filled with anger. And nothing beyond that. "Well?"

Shock slowly dissipating away, Rafeal took hold of her arm, meaning to force her to let go. And if she got her arm broken in the process, too bad for her. "Let go of me, girl." Getting a good grip, he tried to pull her hand off.

And was even more surprised to find black dots on the edge of his vision when his head smacked against the brick wall of the building. The girl's hand only clenched harder around his throat, and her growl fell on close to panicking ears. "Wrong answer, bud."

The dots didn't disappear, only multiplied.

* * *

"So, huh.., how am I like Valon again..?"

Alister fetched a long sigh. After twenty long minutes of waiting for the kid to make his move and continue the duel, he had smoothly evaded all other questions the blond had asked to slow the whole duel down. Now he had his target down to one thousand life points, his barely scratched. (6500 to be exact.) It was the blond's turn and he had just drawn his card, which was 'going to save himself and win the duel.'

Right.

After a muttered curse and another five minutes of feigning to look at his hand more closely, Wheeler had finally given up. "Well? You said you had plenty of 'em, but you only told me about... six? Or five?"

The redhead glanced over at the still struggling Rex Raptor and figured simply that giving him more time to get his duel disk open so he could win that stupid 'bet' of his wouldn't hurt. Certainly not with Wheeler in a situation where he'd lose in one more turn. "I'm not telling you. Did you draw the card you needed?"

"Uh... maybe..."

"Uh-huh. Well, then, play it. GET THIS BLEEPIN' DUEL OVER WITH ALREADY!"

Wheeler blinked once at the sudden change in volume. "Don't you want a turn to play the Orichalchos Card thingy?"

"No. I just want to finish this duel and find Kaiba and kick his butt. Andcapture his soul while I'm at it."

"Oh."

Alister nodded once. "Yeah, unlike Valon, I don't have a reason to hate you andcapture your soul. But he does. Supposedly."

"But you want to go beat Kaiba?" Joey asked for clarification of facts. Call him paranoid, but with the way bad guys with diabolical plans to rule/ destroy the world had almost given him the impression that everyone- or at least half- were after him. "Well why the heck didn't you say so! I hate that bleep!"

"You too? Why?"

Joey lifted up one hand, fitting his card hand into his mouth, and tried to say around it- counting off reasons with his fingers-, "Onfth: He'th a slimeball. Twoth: He drivth meth up the wall allllth the time. Three: He keepth calling me a mutt and an ametuer. Not matteth whaf I doth."

"Ah... okay," Alister replied, struggling not to smile. Discussions concerning Kaiba were a serious matter, no matter how ridiculous your opponent looks while trying to talk and not get his cards splattered with drool. "Then do you want to end this right now, go find the jerk and kill him? More or less considering he won't be able to move once he loses his soul?"

"What, you mean join you guys? The bad guys?"

"The good guys. Yeah. For one duel anyways. I can share the satisfaction of getting rid of him with someone else who also dislikes him."

"Okay."

On the edge of the duel, the brunette's mouth gaped open, her blue eyes bugging out comically. "Joey!" she cried.

The blond turned around halfway and shrugged sheepishly at her. "It's only one duel, Tea. Besides, don't you want ta see that jerk go down?"

"Who's going to take care of Mokuba, you creep?"

Serenity waved a dazed hand at Tea. She was still seeing double from the bear hug Duke had given her before and it was confusing trying to identify people. "I will. Go get 'im, big brother!"

"Thanks Serenity."

"SERENITY!"

Alister snapped the rest of his cards back into the deck slot and slid the playing field back up. "Shall we get going then?" he asked as Joey followed suit in taking cards off his duel disc and with his deck.

"Yeah, okay. Hey Rex, I'm gonna borrow yer motorbike, 'kay?" Without waiting for an answer, he followed the redhead as he had already started away.

The brunette did a double take as he found his ride being driven away. "Hmm... okay- BUT IT'S A MOTORCYCLE!" he called after Wheeler for lack of anything else more threatening to say.

From his comfortable position leaning against the car tire, Yami uttered one tiny snore.

* * *

Valon saw the aircraft land smoothly down the stretch of land in front of him. About fifty yards away, that is. And closing. This was the last time he would ever cross an open patch of bumpy, sometimes sandy and all around undrivable land.

A figure jumped out and moved over directly over to one of the wing engines, checking it out. Some hatch or another opened and ugly black smoke spilled out, right into the face of the figure.

Valon couldn't help but smile as the figure stumbled backwards, waving his arms in front of his face to clear the smoke. He was close enough to be easily tell that the figure was indeed Seto Kaiba, looking more than a tiny bit agitated as more and more smoke poured out.

A smaller head poked out of the aircraft, asking or saying something. Kaiba apparently told the boy to bleep off- or just to leave if it was Mokuba he was talking to- and the kid did. By then the smoke had started to thin into black to gray wisps. Unfortunately Kaiba wouldn't get the chance to fix the engine- if there was one thing in life Valon knew well enough on, it was mechanics and that engine did not look healthy if it was pouring out black smoke like that- as he had just arrived.

He performed what he thought to be a sweet stop in a patch of sandy dirt- leaving a skid trail of about six feet- flipping his helmet off as the motorcycle came to a stop. He saw the taller teen roll his eyes and say something under his breath- yet another curse for young Mokuba to never hear.

"What in bleepin'- I mean- what in the world are you doing here?" Kaiba growled, shooting his curious brother a glare.

"Hey Seto, what did that word mean?" the boy asked sweetly, oblivious to the whole 'situation.'

"Nothing. You're not allowed to use it. Go back inside."

Valon slung a leg over his motorcycle, making no effort to actually get off the motorcycle. His entrance ruined, he merely got Kaiba's attention with a growled out, "I'm supposed to duel you."

Mokuba's head popped out again. "What happened to Alister? Is he out delivering mail again?"

"Nah- our boss made us switch targets an' I got stuck with yer older brother."

"Could you ask him what he meant when he called Seto a, 'bleepin'-"

"Mokuba!"

"I'm sure yer brother can tell you what it means, kid," Valon cut in before a full fledged sibling fight could break out- clearly he knew very little about Seto and Mokuba Kaiba-, "but I'd like to capture yer brother's soul and get on to beating Wheeler, if you don't mind."

Impatiently waving at his brother to get him to go back inside, Kaiba turned his full attention back to the Aussie only after Mokuba had completely left. "Why don't you goons just leave us alone?"

"It's just one duel."

"Riiiiiiiiiight."

"Look, let's just get this little duel over with so I can go kick Wheeler's can, okay? Do you reeeaaally think I want to beat you? It's Alister with the anger issue, not me!"

"Then why don't you tell that cross dressing carrot top to come duel me!"

Valon rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "Did you not hear the reassignment part earlier? Clean yer ears out, mate."

"If you want to get Wheeler's soul so badly, why don't you go after him? How the heck is your boss going to find out who dueled the wrong person?"

"He just... can."

"Uh-huh. Well, what is he going to do about it anyways? Hit you with a lightning bolt?"

Valon considered that for a moment. "Actually, it won't be so much lightning as it'll be some sort of ancient super power bolt thingy..."

"Have you ever talked to a psychiatrist?"

"No, why?"

* * *

He thought he must be dreaming. There was no way Dartz could be there, telling the girl- Naomi- to let him go, NOW. Or to face the consequences if she didn't.

He must still be dreaming, since the grip over his neck lessened and he found he could breathe again. Strange, he never heard that people 'dreamed' when they were choking to death- not that there was any real chance of such a thing being told of, but still...

Even stranger, his vision cleared of dots and sharpened back into focus. The girl had tucked the side of her straight dark brown hair behind her ear, revealing a small com link fitted into her ear. He could hear his boss's voice as he continued on, "I'll explain everything when you get back. Tell Rafeal that he'll get a new target soon enough. Got that, Naomi?"

"Yes, 'sir,'" the girl growled in reply. Dartz muttered another warning and was off, leaving them more or less alone. Her glare was fixed back on him. "Why the bleep didn't you tell me you worked for Dartz! Did you really want to die, you idiot!"

Fixing a glare of his own back at her, Rafeal got shakily back onto his feet. This girl... Naomi- whoever!- was not going to see the next light of day if she continued on like this. "How the heck was I supposed to know you worked for him too, girly? You don't exactly go around broadcasting to the whole world who you work for." He paused there, meaning to say more, but his throat had really started to hurt.

"Whatever. But here's a little word of advice for you," she had started to walk away towards the street, but turned around for the moment to finish, "next time don't try to sneak up on an assassin during work hours. You won't get the chance to identify yourself next time." And with a flick of her hair she melted out into a passing crowd of teenagers.

Biting back the reply that just begged to be growled out, Rafeal followed after her, trying to spot her again. Surely it wouldn't be too hard; she was wearing all black- black tank, pants and boots, as far as he could remember- and would surely stand out in the crowd as he and the others do.

But he didn't see her. Mumbling a curse- he really didn't want her changing her mind and deciding to kill him anyways, Dartz order or not- he started walking briskly back to his motorcycle. He heard a sudden harsh sound of an engine revving up, the kind of engine that only belonged to a motorcycle. _Does she even have a license?_ he thought, thinking that she had hardly looked any older than sixteen- eighteen was close to pushing it.

Apparently she did.

And apparently she also had a talent for 'hot wiring' motorcycles.

Or so he found out, once he got to where he left his motorcycle. His frown set deeper into his face, Rafeal started walking in the direction of the 'hide out'- it was right in the middle of the city, for crying out loud!-, quickly deciding that that girl was going to pay for all of this... She. Was. Going. To. Pay...

* * *

Valon chucked another rock out towards empty wasteland, fetching a sigh in boredom. He looked down at his feet and found there was no more weighty rocks left to throw. Too bad- now he wouldn't be able to see if he can out throw his longest one- right past the cactus. He turned back towards where Kaiba had gotten to fixing the engine after ignoring all further comments Valon had to say after he told where Kaiba to get off for the psychiatric suggestion.

Pansy.

"Are you done there, yet?" the Australian called over, even though he could see that most of the guts of the engine were spilled out onto the ground. "Or do you want a chain saw?"

Kaiba glared at him for a split second, unfortunately biting back any reply he had wanted to say.

Valon sighed again, vainly looking around for another rock. Nothing. But an hour ago there was so many of them... sigh... "How 'bout we duel and then get back to guttin' the engine?"

"How about drowning in a lake, Valon?"

"There's no lakes around here, if you hadn't noticed, Kai-ba."

"Go stick yer head in a tomato can."

"Don't have one."

"Are you always this literal?"

"Does Alister always has to argue this long to get you to duel? Or does he just keep insulting you till you duel? I'm getting really bored and I just want to get my mission over with. How 'bout this," For the first time since he had officially started dueling, Valon took a certain magic card out of his deck, showed it to Kaiba and stuck it into his pocket, "I won't use the Orichalchos card. One quick duel. No soul snatching. Ya know ya want ta..."

Kaiba wiped his hands on the bottom of his pants- despite his best efforts earlier in the engine gutting process, he had found no other way to get the disgusting grease off- and finally turned back to face Valon. "Will you leave us alone after this 'one quick duel?'"

"Yeah. Dartz can't complain that I didn't duel you."

"Fine. Let's get this over with so you. can. LEAVE!"

Valon shuffled his deck for a brief three seconds and slid it back into the deck slot. "Ya know... you and Alister have the same kind of temper; deceivingly explosive."

"'Deceivingly explosive'?"

"Yeah; you're both really quiet until you have ta shout. Then you usually kill the hearing of the person right next ta ya. For Alister- it's usually me. Raffy's too tall."

"Uh-huh..."

The Australian nodded once, his attention momentarily diverted by a growing dust cloud off in the distance. "Were you expecting company?" He asked Kaiba, nodding slightly towards the cloud.

"No, I wasn't. You?"

"Nope."

* * *

Only so far away now... only so far... only so far... For Alister, that was just close enough. Behind him and trying to dodge the numerous plant life and rocks that were constantly in their paths rode Joey Wheeler on Mai's motorcycle. "Ya do know that this is illegal driving! Or at least bad driving?" the blond shouted up at him. He could deal with chasing Valon around on a motorcycle and running into fruit stands, but not this!

"Consider this practice for your driving test, then!" Alister shouted back over his shoulder. "Ready to pound some Kaiba bleep?"

"Definitely."

"What!"

"DEFINITELY!"

"Thought you said something along those lines..," the redhead muttered. By that time, the aircraft had gotten much larger, and he could see that both Kaiba and Valon- ha, he actually managed to find Kaiba- were watching they're arrival with identical expressions of surprise. He put on the brakes, skidding a little bit. "You're going down, Kaiba!"

Kaiba gave Valon a sour look. "Didn't you say you switched assignments, aussie?"

Valon opened his mouth to reply- along with a snip about telling him to wipe that smile off his face- when he spotted Wheeler getting off the other motorcycle. Mai's motorcycle. "Sorry Kaiba- but now we're switching again! YOU'RE MINE, WHEELER!" Taking little time to consider what he was going to do, Joey found himself tackled to the ground by the insane brunette that had been following him around since practically the end of Battle City Tournament.

"GERROFF ME, YOU BIG LOUT!" Joey managed out before the wind was knocked out of him. "How much do you weigh! Nine hundred pounds!"

"No... only- never mind. DUEL ME!" Valon demanded, wrestling the struggling target back down to the ground.

"Let me GO!"

"DUEL ME!"

Alister and Kaiba watched, amused, for a few minutes before acknowledging each other. The redhead shook his head. Poor Wheeler... stuck with an obviously bored and slowly going mega hyper Valon. Oh well. Back to business.

"I challenge you to a-"

"Let me guess," Kaiba cut in suddenly, "a duel?"

"Yeah."

The target rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Who would've thought? And guess what my answer is- no. Now excuse me while I try to fix this damn en- hey!" Before he had any chance to respond, the redhead had tackled him to the ground like he had watched Valon do.

"DUEL ME!"

"GET OFF ME NOW BEFORE I-"

"DUEL ME!"

"NO!"

"Don't make me tickle you!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

By this time, Valon had somehow managed to get Joey attached to a nearby cactus and was smiling wickedly as his victim struggled to get loose. "Are ya goin' ta duel me now, bloke?"

Wheeler thanked his lucky stars for remembering to bring his denim jacket- who knows what those thorns would have done by now?- and growled back, "NO. I hav'ta kill Kaiba first. THEN I'll duel you. And kick yer bleep."

"Duel me or I'll... I'll... uh... I'll prick you with cactus thorns!"

Joey's eyes widened a bit. Ever since having been stung by a rather huge wasp- huge only because he had been five at the time- he had a phobia to sharp pointy things that hurt you when they pricked one's skin. "Don't you mean ya'll stick thorns in me if I don't duel you..? And isn't that a bad business practice?"

The Australian ripped a thorn off a branch, testing the end with a light tap. Ouch. "Nah. I'm bored- and do you really think Dartz actually made us sign any contract?" He tapped Joey once on the nose with the thorn.

"Uh... Well- is he paying you guys to duel people and capture their souls?"

"I wouldn't count what he 'pays' us a real 'salary.' There's a reason we were stuck doing other embarrassing part time jobs."

* * *

Safely inside the Blue-Eyes White Dragon aircraft, Mokuba watched silently as one of his friends and his older brother were more or less tortured. Hmm... this wouldn't do at all. Seto needed to work on his wrestling. And Joey- jeez, you'd think he was taken by surprise the way he was trying to escape!

With a long sigh, the boy nodded once as he agreed with himself again that this wouldn't do at all. He turned around his seat and found his back pack conveniently within reach. He flipped the top flap open and dug around for his favorite summer time toy.

His smile stretched to his ears, Mokuba hopped out of the aircraft, easily landing on his feet, toy in hand. He decided to go rescue Joey first- Seto really did need to learn how to wrestle better, and this is good practice for him- and started off towards him.

"Hey Vally," he called sweetly, hiding the toy behind his back. He got the Australian's attention easily, and only smiled more as he let loose on the teen. "TAKE THAT, AUSSIE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ah!" Valon stumbled back as stream after stream of water hit him. He lost his balance and toppled over, the cactus thorn jarred out of his grip. The poor brunette could only blink as the demon kid advanced, still firing shot after shot of cold water.

A water gun, of course... The one thing he could never dodge in time when he was kid back in Australia... Only the kids who owned them back there in that 'school' liked to throw the heavy plastic after they ran out of water and had you on the run.

The horror... oh the horror...

"AHHHH!" He tried to roll out of the way, only to get water striking his face. Ugh, the water was FREEZING! "All right, all right! I'm leaving! JEEZ!" One last stream of water hit him in the back of his head as he turned to dutifully leave.

Next time, though- he was coming armed with a water gun of his own.

* * *

Joey blinked, still trying to get the order of events to make sense in his mind. Mokuba walked past him, evil smile stretched on his face, water gun hidden behind his back again. "Hey, Mokuba... any chance you can help me down?" he asked groggily, trying yet again to wiggle his arms out of the material used to tie his wrists together.

The kid didn't turn to help. No, he only continued over to where Alister and his brother were wrestling. He called the redhead's just as sweetly as he had with Valon's. The first shot got the unsuspecting teen in the face and Joey saw the expression go from mild shock to full out surprise.

After that first shot, Alister did no better than Valon under fire. Shouting a promise to come back and capture Kaiba's soul FOR GOOD- and getting another shot of freezing water on the back of his neck for it- he was off in a flash. Valon's dust cloud was already tiny in the horizon.

Kaiba shook his head to clear his vision. Mokuba helped out, by firing one shot in his brother's face. That surely helped.

"Mokuba- back in the aircraft. NOW!" he ordered with a snarl. Completely ignoring Joey, he stalked over to the engine, kicked it once and commenced the 'fixing.'

Mokuba sighed once, evil sugar high slowly dwindling away. He glanced over towards where Joey was still trying to wiggle his way off of the cactus and then to his older brother. Hmm... this wouldn't do- these two idiots couldn't do ANYTHING right without him. Hmm... wait... there's a way to fix that...

"MOKUBA! PUT THAT WATER GUN AWA- AHHHHHH!"

"Oh, hey Mokuba. Can you help- AHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Rex gave up as soon as he remembered the terms of the bet. It was hard to ignore the fact that the redhead's and Wheeler's duel had finished, especially when all of the group kept reminding him of what it was.

"Can I get a ride with you guys back to the, uh... hide-out?" he asked sheepishly, just as Yami was kicked- by Tea, who else was in such a mood- awake.

The brunette girl gave him a cold glare. "We would- maybe- if the car was working. Unfortunately, it ain't. So it looks like yer walking. Sorry."

"Ya know, there might be a reason that Valon didn't get yer order right," the dinosaur fanatic snarled. He narrowly missed her reply- Yami's duel disc- and started off on a brisk pace back. Hopefully he was headed the right way.

Hopefully.

* * *

Did I mention that I'm sooooooo, so, so, so, so, soooooooo, so, so, so, sorry that I took so long? No? Well- I am sooooooo, so, so, so ,so, soooooooo, so, so, so, sorry that I took so long. Thank you all for hanging in for me and waiting it out. I think this'll be the last Sailor Moon and YGO mix, since I killed the girls' leader off. Oh well, I think she had it coming. THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING AND PLEASE FORGIVE ME! 


	10. Kingpin Blues

* * *

Thank you all once again. I lied. Looks like I'm updating before I submit another story. Anyways... Read, enjoy and review. Those are the requirements. j/k 

Disclaimer: Nothing out of YGO is mine. Not even Kingpin. Naomi is, though. So sorry.

Chapter Ten: Kingpin Blues

* * *

"Let's play Kingpin!" the comment was completely out of the blue and with no relevance to the previous conversation. How would Shakespeare relate to a game purely for entertaining the inner animal in us?

Barely taking time to look up over the edge of his book- Romeo and Juliet, of course- Dartz asked, "What's Kingpin and how does it relate to Shakespeare?"

Valon shrugged, landing back into his seat with a heavy thump. "Oh- sorry Raffy." Ignoring the glare- or completely oblivious of it- the brunette slid off the blond to the side of the unoccupied couch. "Kingpin is a game where ya throw soft, squishy dodge balls at the other team, tryin' ta knock their teeth out. Oh- and yer supposed ta hit the pins, too."

"And how does that relate to Shakespeare?"

"Um... well, Romeo probably wanted ta hit Tybalt with a dodge ball and knock his teeth out," Valon guessed with another shrug. "Only not so soft and squishy."

From his position completely out of Dartz's immediate reach, Alister added, "And we don't have to listen to you read it."

"Especially the falsetto for Juliet..," Rafeal muttered. It had been a painful morning for them all as this was their boss's new idea for a 'punishment.' Wouldn't lowering their 'salaries' be enough for this fiendish fiend? Of course not- duh.

With a growl, Dartz smacked the blond upside the head with the book. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't quite so out of reach. "How do you play this... Kingpin game? Are there any ancient beasts to be resurrected to destroy the world?"

"Well... first ya need at least four dodge balls and four pins for each team. And for a good game, at least four players to a team," the brunette started excitedly. After hearing the punishment they were going to receive the night before, he had more or less decided to stay under the influence of sugar to survive. And to accomplish this- had downed at least two whole bags of pixie stix that were hidden away in one of the kitchen drawers. "Ya line the balls up in the middle and the pins further back and spaced out. In a line- not on drugs or anything."

"Then the gym teacher forces to line up behind the pins with one foot and one hand on the wall. Then they shout 'Go!' and you run forward at a maniacal speed, rushing to get one of the balls before you're pegged in the face," Alister concluded, ignoring the glare from the Aussie. "And then they laugh while people are being pegged."

"Ya win by pegging all of the other team's players so they're out or by knocking all the pins over- AN' JUST CAUSE YA DON'T LIKE THE GAME DOESN'T MEAN YA HAVE TA BE SO CYNICAL!" A glaring match- at least from one end- continued before the brunette finally calmed down long enough to finish with: "And there's no beast of Kingpin."

Dartz nodded, sorting the important statements from the others. For example: THERE WAS NO BEAST WORTHY ENOUGH TO RESURRECT. "What's... 'out?'"

"It's when you can't play in the game any longer," Rafeal answered this one before the other two could. If having to listen to the first three acts of Romeo and Juliet was the worst that could happen, then a game or two of Kingpin couldn't be all that bad. It at least put a rainy Saturday with a bored sugar high Valon and an annoyed Alister- plus an added dose of a miffed, annoyed AND sugar high Dartz- in perspective. "You can get out by being hit or by catching a thrown ball in the air."

"And if you're already holding a ball and bounce a throw up into the air and your teammate catches it, then the thrower's out. If the throw hits the ground and then hits you- you're safe." Valon paused a moment, then continued, "When you have one pin left then a player can kneel in front of it. If you have one last player and they catch the ball in the air... then the rest of their team comes back onto the field. Which really stinks if the other team has only a few people left..."

Alister nodded once in agreement; he had been on that specific team once too often and had learned the lessons of letting a poor thrower- coughhimcough- let the last player catch the ball. It. Had. Not. Been. Pretty. "And that's about it."

Dartz fingered the dent in the paperback book slowly, trying to make some more sense out of this new information. For example: No beast worthy enough to even MENTION the possibility of trying to resurrect it. Then again... maybe Valon has it wrong... Hold on a minute. "So... there's no beast to resurrect..?" he asked slowly. Maybe... juuuuuust maybe...

"No..," Valon replied just as slowly. He blinked once and the sugar from last night's bingeing brought him back up to regular speed. "Butdoyouwanttoplay! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!"

"...Is there anyway to capture the loser's souls..?"

Alister sighed and rolled his eyes. The brunette had begun to jump up and down in his seat in a speed that could only be acquired in a video game or under the influence of red, blue, orange, green or purple sugar. "No, but I think Valon's going to explode if you don't answer. Hint: please say no- let's see if he'll sky rocket through the roof."

"And have to pay repairs?" Dartz scoffed with a shake of his head. "No way! But- we'll play a game and see if you three are telling the truth about the beasts and souls an' all that."

Unfortunately, Alister and Rafeal barely heard him, as Valon had leaped further up than before, yelling triumphantly. His cry was beaten only by the blond's cry of pain as he had landed directly on Rafeal's foot.

* * *

"Ya know, there's only four of us," Alister started. He waited for any reaction out of the brunette and received only a curious glance. "So there'd be only two people on a team."

Another glance- those shoe laces were still giving him trouble.

"So how in heck is this going to work out?" the redhead finally asked point blank. "Or were you just planning to forget about all of that?" He wouldn't have been too surprised if that was the case- Valon usually forgets to think things through sometimes.

"I aws gonna ask Mai to join us," Valon finally replied, just finishing up with strangling his sneakers. "Jeez- what do they make these stupid things out of!"

"Polyester, usually. Anyways, that would work out pretty well..."

"Uh-huh... well polyester annoys me."

"Of course it does- that's why they're made out of the stuff. So, first she'd punch you and then she'd peg you in the game. That actually works out quite well."

Valon grunted again. "I was also going to ask Raffy's new friend- whatever her name is- to come too. Just to even up the teams." Growling, he stuffed the ends of the shoelaces into either side of his ankles. He'd get to them later. "Ya know, I feel like a sail for a ship with this tee-shirt on. Is it made out of polyester bleep too?" They had all changed out of their usual biker gear into tee-shirts and shorts; partly so they'd be able to move around easier, and also because Dartz had wanted to punish them some more.

"Probably not- most likely it's cotton," the redhead answered. "Have you learned anything new about this girl? I haven't heard of her before and according to Rafeal, she's been under Dartzy's employment for about as long as you."

The Aussie flapped his arms once, still annoyed at the shirt. "Course I haven't heard anything about her- and Raffy hasn't been talking."

"As though he'd want to."

"Good point..," Valon agreed reluctantly. Sighing, he lowered his arms to his sides again- ugh... for now on, all baggy shirts that he could find were going to be burned with incense so it would take a longer time to be destroyed completely- he continued, "I'm gonna go find Mai and ask her to come with us. You can go ask whatever her name is. Buh-bye!" He left before Alister could argue. There had been one too many arguments where the carrot top had won from sheer logic.

* * *

What once had been carefully manicured nails were now torn and completely without nail polish. They scratched against the door, drawing out one more line next to another one. Three. Three... days...

The blond growled deeply in her throat, eyes narrowing to slits. When she got her hands on any one of those blokes, they were going to DIE. Wait- blokes..? AIIIIEEEE! SHE'S STARTING TO THINK LIKE THAT STUPID BRUNETTE WHO CAN'T STOP TRYING TO ASK HER OUT! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

The light that filtered through at the bottom was suddenly blocked out. Not hesitating in the slightest- not even to shout 'Hallelujah'- she started pounding on the door. "GET ME OUT OF HERE, WHOMEVER YOU ARE!" she screamed as loudly as she could, her words punctuated by the bangs her fists created.

Whomever was outside in the sane world didn't continue on their way like so many others had. Instead, the rescuer opened the door, making her lose her balance and fall onto the ground at their feet. Suddenly feeling very happy and not so angry, she grabbed the nearest foot, forgetting all about a little word called 'dignity' and began to cry out her practiced 'thank you' speech.

The person nearly lost his own balance at her... embrace... but managed to keep to his feet by whaling his arms around like a lunatic. "M-Mai?" he asked, clearly startled out of his little mind. "What were you doing in there!"

Mai Valentine paused in her speech, glancing up at the foot's owner.

Oh boy... She'd been saved by the Rescuer Down Under.

Valon knelt down carefully so he wouldn't hit her. "Were you stuck in there for the past three days?" he asked, voice pratically dripping with heartfelt, Australian concern. "Why didn't you try calling out fer help or anything? We could've gotten you out sooner."

She blinked her usually very carefully eyeliner rimmed eyes. This was so wrong. Why couldn't her real Prince Charming come and save her instead of Aussie?

"Uh... Mai- are you okay?"

Another blink. Wait... didn't she have revenge plans earlier..? How did they start again..?

"Do you want ta get something to eat- ya must be hungry," Valon paused for a minute, blushing just the slightest, "Want some help up? Uh- we can finish talking downstairs an' all... Heh..."

Mai frowned the slightest bit. Ah- wait a minute. Yes... that was how the plans started out like... With a ferocious growl, she got to her feet, knocking the unsuspecting Aussie over. "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! I'M GONNA PLANT YOUR BROKEN AND BLOODY BODY IN A NONEXISTENT FLOWER GARDEN CALLED YOUR GRAVE! THEN I'LL LET WARMS EAT YOUR FLESH! AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT- THEY'D HAVE EATEN YOUR EAR LOBES OFF! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Valon blinked dazedly up at his true love, feeling uncharacteristically confused. Was she actually going to kill him? WHY! What did he ever do! _It must have been the kitchen remark,_ he thought to himself as he was being slowly dragged away. _Yeah- had to be that. Why wouldn't she want ta talk to me? Oh! I forgot to ask her about the game... Huh... maybe over second breakfast... okay then... Hey... where is she taking me..?_

* * *

Alister bounced one of the 'dodge balls' onto the ground. The taped up baseball bounced back up a foot than back down. They shouldn't have used so much duct tape- who knew when they were going to need it again? "Where did Valon go?" he asked to no one in particular. There was only him and Rafeal in the room, so there wasn't much of any choice who to ask.

"I wouldn't know," Rafeal answered, flipping a page in the latest Motorcycle Week edition. "He probably found Mai by now and is trying to talk her into joining us. Or to join him for a stroll or something along those lines."

"Of course..," the redhead agreed, picking up the baseball in one smooth move. He tested the weight and figured that one could get a mild concussion. "But you still haven't answered whether your new 'partner' would like to come hit people with heavy objects or not. Knowing your luck in finding girls- she probably would."

"That would be Valon's luck and he has to stop giving it to me," the blond replied with a grunt. Unfortunately for him, the redhead had a point. "And I don't really know her, so I can't answer for her. And besides, she'd prefer to throw knives than those 'dodge balls.'"

"Ah... so she's kinda've like Mai?"

"Except that she'd aim to kill everyone instead of just Valon. More or less."

Alister was silent for a minute, letting the baseball drop back to the ground. Maybe Mai would punch Valon in the head and knock him unconcious and stop this madness before it even started. "Is she a duelist like us? Or she some psycho secretary?"

"She tried to kill me- she's no secretary."

"Uh-huh... Then what does she do?"

"Kill people."

"Besides that."

"She does that for a living- it's her job," Rafeal said slowly, wincing again as the baseball hitting the floor made another heavy 'thud.' Nothing right now was helping his migraine- not even the advil and tylenol he had recently taken. Together. "She's an... asassin..."

"Rrrriiiiigggghhhhtttt."

"I mean it."

"Uh- huh," the redhead replied again. He flung the baseball next to the other substitutes for the dodge balls: two wrapped up tennis balls and also a volley ball. "Why haven't we met her before now?"

"Probably because Dartz doesn't want us to tell the police about her- they might find out that she's his employee and will haul him into jail too."

"What's her name?"

Rafeal sighed. Yesterday, Dartz had only introduced them, explained the mistake, their separate jobs... and had then decided to make them partners. Just so they could get to know each other better and stay out of his hair- ahem... to get her introduced to the others more easily. "Her name is Naomi Ryozaki. I think. She kind of mumbled it several times until Dartz gave up on trying to get her to talk."

"Uh-huh... What else do you know about her?"

"I didn't know that this was Twenty Questions- and you can ask her any questions yourself. She's right over there. Or right behind you, depending on your point of view."

Alister glanced over his shoulder, and nearly jumped out of his shoes. She was more than just 'right behind him.' More like: 'stepping on the back of his shoes.'

The girl smiled, making it look more like she was baring her teeth than actually smiling. "Hullo, stranger. You must be the freaky tall, wears-the-belly-shirt, Alister." She whipped a loose lock of brown hair out of her face; the rest of it she had tied back in a pony tail that barely brushed her shoulders. "Hey Raffy- where's the game gonna be played at?" Ignoring the look on the redhead's face- and him entirely- Naomi waltzed over in front of the blond.

Rafeal shrugged. "Wherever Valon decides to end his game of 'Catch the Aussie.' Usually after a few jumps over people and around alleyways."

"Uh-huh... and whose team do I get to be on? Vally's or yours?" She leaned into his line of sight, forcing him to look her straight in the eye. "And where is Vally?"

Alister laughed shakily, leaning against a nearby wall. Having one person sneak up on him was enough for the day. "That's how this whole conversation got started!"

Naomi nodded once. "Yes, I know. And you better go stop Mai from killing him- they're on the second floor by a window. I believe she's planning on throwing him out of it... Or tying him upside down in the wind."

Rafeal and Alister exchanged glances. What was the probability that she was right...?

Too good, they decided almost simultaneously, jumping out of their places and rushing out of the room. Naomi watched them leave, a small mischievious smile on her face.

* * *

Mai knocked about the drawers and containers in the room, trying to find some rope. She didn't want to actually kill anyone and leave fingerprints behind, oh no... She'd prefer to see him terrified out of his wits before he died. Oh yes...

And speaking about the victim...

She glanced over her shoulder at where she had duct-taped the brunette to a chair, finding him still stuck there. She was going to have to thank Alister before he, too, died a terrifying but uncriminating death for keeping an extra roll of the gray binds under his pillow. The Aussie struggled weakly in the chair, muffled noises coming around from his heavily duct-taped mouth. Poor guy- it almost looked like he wanted to leave.

Ignoring the noises, she turned back to her search, moving faster through the closet. Ugh. Where did this idiot find these outfits..? With another grunt she flung aside another fashion dead item, resolving to show the idiot where to get good clothes before he died a terrifying but incriminating death.

The door to the room busted open and in came the cavalry. The redhead took a look around his once neat and orderly room and cried, "What in bleepin' bleep did you bleepin' DO!" The blond that Mai recognized as the crazed one from three days ago immediately moved to help the Aussie out of the duct-tape. He grabbed the other's attention by whirling an item at him and barking- 'Get over here and help me get Valon out before she throws him out the window!'

Mai let them try. With another grunt she went back to her search, moving faster than before. Her hand came across the item she was looking for and she cried out triumphantly, bringing silence into the room. She turned around slowly, holding the item aloft in the air.

"You... all... will... DIE!" she cried out, advancing slowly. The brunette's eyes widened beyond belief and he began to struggle more. The other two blinked a few times and started to move out of the way far too late.

She had 'em right where she wanted 'em.

* * *

Naomi flung the baseball against the wall, enjoying the deeper dent it made and the sound it made as it hit the wall. For various reasons, Dartz had 'temporarily' lowered her salary to absolutely nothing from nothing, so it wasn't like she had to PAY for any repairs...

The brunette sighed, growing tired of the game. She hadn't heard of anything else since Mai had probably jumped them, wrapping them all together with the rope. Poor Raffy- taken down by another girl a third his size.

"HA!" She flung the volley ball at the wall, catching it nimbly in the air on the rebound. "Poor Raffy indeed. Serves him right for running into me like that, the idiot... Although he is better than those other two... Huh."

There was a loud thump from upstairs, as though a heavy chair weighted down by an Australian teen had fell over in an attempt to get away. So Mai had yet to tie him to the end..? "You moron- you're supposed to hang him first so there'd be more strain on the rope before it snaps! Than no one can lift them back up..."

Another thud. Some yells. Naomi turned her head towards the noises, waiting for anything else. Nothing. Ah... and there's her cue to turn up. She flung the two tennis balls at the wall, dodging the return. Poor, poor Raffy... First he was taken down not once, but twice by girls a third his side... Then he gets flung out of a window, tied to his two idiot friends by a flimsy rope.

And then, thirdly- he gets saved by his worst nightmare.

"Me!"

* * *

"Mmphff! Phfff!"

Alister glanced upwards to where Valon was hanging by a chair leg, and up where Rafeal was above him. He found the view much more welcoming than the spinning ground below them. "What did he say?" he called upwards to the blond, who hopefully understood what the Aussie said.

"I don't know!" Rafeal answered, taking a quick glance downwards. His fear of heights was getting a hold of him again. He was going to have to get over that soon... "I think something along the lines of 'Help' or Cheese Muffins!"

"Why would he be talking about Cheese Muffins!" the redhead asked back. "He's dim, but not that dim!"

Rafeal rolled his eyes. Why would he know what was going on through the brunette's head? It wasn't like he wanted to visit there anytime soon... He was about to open his mouth to reply when a rather unwanted but familiar face appeared at the window sill.

"Hey, Raffy! How's the weather?" the fiend asked with another of her huge smiles. "You guys want some help out of there?"

"Mmmppppphhhhfffffff!"

One of Naomi's eyebrows arched up. "I wouldn't know about cheese muffins- but yer girlfriend is taking a little nap. She hit her head against the door frame- you may want to get around to fixing that soon, Ally."

"You hit her head against the door frame! Naomi!"

"Oh calm down, Raffy- I already told you. She ran into the door frame. Anyways- you guys want to get up?"

"That would be nice. How are you going to do that? Cut the rope?" the blond growled, not liking the way the rope was spinning them around. It didn't help that at any second it was going to rain as far as the clouds were looking.

Much to his surprise, she shook her head. "I can't kill you guys- whether I like it or not, you three are my coworkers. I can pull you three up, though, if ya want."

"Rafeal, if you don't say 'yes!' then I'm going to kill you!"

"Alister- shut up!" the blond barked downwards, catching an unwanted glimpse of the ground below him. To Naomi he replied, "There's no way you can pull us all up by yourself."

Naomi shrugged. "Some would say that it'd be impossible for me to throw you down a hallway, but since I can pick you up with one hand, I think I could toss you around a bit."

"Uh-huh... Well- if it's at all possible, could you get us out of this?"

"Yeah, sure. On one condition, that is."

"..what..?"

The brunette considered for a second and then shrugged. "I'll tell ya later," she replied, grabbing hold of the rope. "Hold on." Ignoring all the protests from the teens she disappeared from view, bringing handful of rope after handful of rope in.

Rafeal grabbed hold of the window sill gratefully, taking some of the slack off. After he got in and untangled himself from the rope he helped out silently. There was one too many questions to ask her and not one answer was he looking forward to finding out. Valon came in next, his eyes squinched shut. Alister swung himself in, not looking over at Naomi at all.

Naomi joined them, taking a pocketknife from her pocket and cutting the duct-tape off of Valon. The Australian wriggled his way out of the remaining bonds- masking tape, scotch tape, all purpose tape, and rubber cement- and rushed over to Mai. The blond was leaning against the wall, snoring softly. Alister mumbled something about needing a broom to clean this all up and disappeared from the room in search for such the object.

Thus, more or less alone, Rafeal found himself once again in her debt for not killing him. "Thanks, Naomi. When you find yourself hanging outside a window, we'll help you out. Now... what was it you were talking about?"

"I'm going with you on your mission tomorrow- so see you then! Buh-bye!" Naomi replied in a rush. She walked off, not letting him or that annoying Aussie see her amused smile. Oh... she was going to have SO much fun annoying him tomorrow... Especially with driving poor Raffy up the wall...

* * *

Sorry it took me awhile again and also that this isn't up to usual standards. However- I'll try updating again quicker, and it'll be funnier. Hopefully. Anyways... thank you everyone for reviewing, as always- you all make this sooooo much more enjoyable. 


	11. Chapter 11

I would like to thank JoeysLoveSlave for this suggestion. Thank you for the idea- I hope I put justice to it. And sorry for not updating sooner.

Chapter 11: Taking A Break To Bring You All The Usual Stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 'cept Naomi. Do I have to keep saying this every single chapter?

* * *

On one side of a highly polished, yet obviously stew-ruined wooden table sat none other the best Doom Bikers Reporters- Say That You Love Me Valon, wearing instead of his usual goggles with his biker gear, a bright yellow snorkel. Next to him was the third best Doom Biker Reporter- Cry Me A River Rafeal. Along with his usual outfit, he had also donned a tie-died headband and a pair of murky green sunglasses. Plus one earring in the shape of a peace sign.

In their hands they held a few papers with nothing whatsoever on them, which every so often Say That You Love Me Valon ruffled in impatience. "We can get on with the report if the second best Doom Biker Reporter would show up..," he muttered, his voice muffled from the snorkel. "Young Girl Alister said he'd be here, right..?"

"That's what he said," Cry Me A River Rafeal answered, leaning even further back in his chair almost to the point of being practically parallel to the ground. "Ah... here comes Young Girl Alister now..."

Unfortunately for them, it was only the regular Alister that came through the door, carrying a large supply of duct tape and pixie stix. He hadn't even bothered to put on any eye liner or the yellow barrette that was only a small part of his Doom Biker Report uniform. "Don't call me that- I have other, more important business to take care of than to talk to a fake camcorder dressed up as a girl. And whoever put it in my fake contract that I had to dress up as a girl for these ridiculous occasions ought to be shot. With bird seed. Then a cannon."

Just Say You Love Me Valon gasped, dropping the papers on the table and placing his hands over either sides of the shoe box that was the 'camcorder.' "He didn't mean that, Suzy."

"Valon- you're talking to a shoe box," the redhead informed him, moving around the table. "And you're wearing a snorkel even though you hate them. Raffy- you look like a steroid abusing hippie that also enjoys getting his head cracked on the carpet floor. Now, I must be going."

Cry Me A River Rafeal shrugged the comment off, unlike his coworker who only tried to get out coherent curses around the snorkel. "What's this 'important' business?"

Alister kicked open the less used, but still serviceable door to the living room, struggling to keep all of his items in his arms. "I am NOT missing anymore episodes of my show. So go conduct your 'shows' with that 'girl' Valon likes. Have her dress up to be a guy if ya really want."

"This one is important."

"Raffy... the last one you said was important included having to learn how to knit and talking to turtles to find out the meaning of life," the redhead dropped everything on the ground in the more sane room. "Plus, you passed out halfway into the 'show' from the fumes coming from Valon's shoes. In case neither of you can remember that, it was also the day that Dartz finally forced the Aussie to actually WASH his shoes. It was either that or he'd be sleeping in a dog house out on Fifth Avenue."

Just Say You Love Me Valon shuddered. Fifth Avenue was the worst street in the entire world in EVERY city- every time he went there, some dog ended up chasing him, thinking he was a cute dog chick and Mai usually tried to dump him... not that she'd be going out with him in the first place...

"See- he remembers. Now... I'm going to tape myself to the television set so I won't miss my show. Good day- enjoy talking to Suzy the Shoe Box." And with that, Alister shut the door, leaving one still very relaxed Cry Me A River Rafeal and another, shuddering Just Say That You Love Me Valon.

The latter quickly shook the feeling off, picking his papers back up again. "Let's get this over with... And now, Ladies and Gentlemen-! You're show, We Don't Know Why We're Doing This Because We Never Found Out Who Put It In Our Contracts, is back on after a two week break! Your host, Just Say That You Love Me Valon, and co-anchor, Cry Me A River Rafeal! Our story today- We Will Finally Break A Stupid Pattern Of Being Forced Into Stupid Things Because Our Boss Is Crazy And Has The Mysterious Contract Writer Put Stupid Stuff Into Our Contracts!"

Cry Me A River Rafeal nodded in agreement. "Right on, man... Today we're taking a short break from the 'plot'. We'll be trying to drive our boss- Dead Skunk In The Middle Of The Road Dartz- crazy. Than, we're going to find that Mysterious Person who likes to put strange things into our contracts that DON'T EXIST. So once we find him, her, it, we will tell them off in a 'peaceful' way, then enjoy a good time of riding horses and giving Protest Speeches in the Fake Park. Also known as Fifth Avenue, where Just Say That You Love Me Valon will probably faint in his twenty eight mile dash from that gender confused Jack Russell Terrier and after nearly being dumped by the Fourth Best Dressed Doom Biker Reporter who is also rarely talked about in two out of the three circles, Janie's Got A Gun Mai Valentine. Ironically, she is also the only one who has a last name."

"Which I find to be a beautiful last name..," Just Say That You Love Me Valon smiled dreamily, eyes temporarily glazing over. "Anyways... Today we shall put first tacks and then rubber cement on our boss's chair. Then, we shall set a squirrel upon him and-"

"No, no, no... We had to drop that, remember? Squirrels are pets, not pests?"

"That's pests, not pets. Anyways... you're right. So instead of that, we shall drain ALLLLLL computer printer's cartridges dry and then refuse to get off the internet. Whereas, we shall finally demand to know who writes our fake contracts. Hopefully, he won't find a shot gun of his own or try to shot us with a lightening bolt thingy..."

Cry Me A River Rafeal nodded again. "And that will be our show, Ladies and Gentlemen. And Gentlemen- so sorry that Young Girl Alister couldn't be here today, but he had to tape himself to a television set in a futile attempt to not miss his show, as one other part of our plot is to keep all TV sets busy when Dead Skunk In The Middle Of The Road Dartz decides to give up on getting onto the internet. So... Uh... yeah... Well, man- enjoy the show! AND PEACE OUT!"

"Okay, that's a wrap," Valon whipped off the snorkel, happily becoming his less ridiculous self. Why wouldn't Alister like doing this? This is the one time where they can let their immaturity have fun! "Shall we unwrap Alister from the TV now... or later..?"

Rafeal discarded his Reporter accessories as well, glad to be rid of them. He had missed the seventies by a good ten years and he sure didn't want that changed any time soon. "Later. It'll hurt him more after he put more layers of tape on. Let's go accomplish Phase One in the mean time, though."

Valon tossed the snorkel into the corner- its usual place- and picked up a large cardboard box from under the table. "Right behind ya, Raffy."

* * *

On the other side of the wall, the redhead contemplated the how's of his plan. Such as: how was he going to tape himself to the TV set under the influence of sugar? And how was he going to get more when he ran out..?

He heard a hollow thunk! as Valon tossed the yellow snorkel into the corner and than the other door to that room open and close. For once they didn't need his help in their stupid ideas for the day. Good riddance and one hopes that Jack Russell chases good ol' Vally around for FORTY miles. HA!

Alister picked up one of the many rolls of duct-tape, weighing it carefully. Hmm... how was he going to get it around the back of the TV set..? Hmm... this problem required another pixie stix... or two... So thinking, he grabbed the nearest open bag, taking one of the nonalcoholic, non nicotine, non-drug-anything-that-the-government-would-consider-'bad', life saving sugar packets.

Hmm... yes... there were a few problems to this plan... Like how badly it would hurt if he had to take the tape out of his hair..?

* * *

"Look- could you maybe help me with this..? It isn't exactly as light as it appears to be," Valon grunted out. What had first seemed to him to be a rather lightweight box had become what felt like a million pounds over a period of close to fifteen minutes. Or maybe five. It sure felt more like fifteen. "Raffy?"

Rafeal shrugged, easily taking the box out of the brunette's arms. "You big baby," He muttered, continuing forward towards their destination. "Now... where has our target gone to..? He couldn't have gone far from the coffee machine yet... it's not even nine thirty and there's no way he could be thinking of dealing with us without a sufficient dose of coffee..."

"How much caffeine is considered sufficient?"

"At least twenty cups. Sometimes more depending on how long we're here for the day or what happened the day before."

"The record?"

"Forty two cups in one time slot."

"And when are we going to try and break it?"

"Today."

"Good," Valon nodded to himself, moving ahead of Rafeal to check around the corner himself. "I wonder if we can make him look like a lemming in that old computer game... Ya know- when they explode, they shake like crazy, smoke coming out of their ears and then they just... explode..."

Rafeal shifted the box from one arm to the other. Although he'd rather not admit it- this was heavier than it looked... "C'mon, let's get phase one over with." He moved recklessly into the room- if Dartz didn't know they were there now, then he was beyond blind and deaf- placing the box down next to their boss's favorite chair. "Here's the tacks and the rubber cement... which should we put on first?"

"Tacks. Duh," the brunette replied, taking the rather large box of pointy metal out of the other's hand. "Before the group meeting we'll rubber cement his chair- or we can rubber cement the tacks to the chair."

"Hmm... that's a tempting thought..."

"Yeah- he'd get stuck to the chair and the tacks!"

"Hmm... okay, we'll do that."

It took them an astonishing five seconds to first rubber cement the chair- pouring a gigantic metal container that was close to two gallons- and placing/throwing/dumping the tacks onto the chair. Hopefully Dartz wouldn't notice... and that there was enough ends pointing upwards.

Valon wiped off to get rid of some of the rubber cement, only to spread it further. Hmm... this wasn't part of the plans. "Okay, so now that that is down, should we go to Phase Two or see if he's near the coffee machine still?"

"Let's go see how he's doing," Rafeal decided, lifting the lighter box back up. "Maybe we can catch him talking to it again..."

"So he really does talk to it? That's not just a rumor?"

"Nope, it's true. Usually it happens after the third cup. After the fifth he stops 'cause he's jumping up and down to much to be able to talk properly."

"Is that when he's 'speaking a different language?'"

"Yep."

* * *

The sunlight streamed through the window brightly, glinting off the newly washed linoleum floor. The pleasant sunlight rays mocked him terribly. Yes, he was locked in this prison, but not from an actual lock. No... by water... and soap...

Weevil glared down at the linoleum floor, his hand gripping the handle of the bucket so tightly that if it had a voice- it would have been screaming for mercy. Or at least for the teen to take a chill pill, it IS just a bit of water.

This was insulting. How could he have been so stupid as to wash himself into a corner ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM FROM THE DOOR! Of course, he could just walk across it... but not after having to wash the floors of the entire building ALL OF LAST NIGHT. Why couldn't the idiots in this building learn NOT to walk across WET floors? No... it would be too HARD for their tiny MINDS to think of that...

So. To prove his point and teach them all a lesson, he was going to be patient and show them how NOT to walk across FRESH, CLEAN floors. Especially when he'd have to wash them all over again.

Weevil tapped his foot in such a way that some would call impatient, waiting for the sun to dry the floor off. Then he was going to get a large latte at the nearest Dunkin' Donuts- or even the watered down coffee beans down in the 'coffee room/break room/ leave-Dartz-alone-he-needs-his-caffeine room'- and sit down with the latest insect book he had and read the rest of the day away about the beautiful praying mantis...

* * *

"Now, Leviathan," Dartz swished his coffee mug back and forth in his hand. In front of him was the large serpent he knew to be Leviathan from ten thousand years ago, instead of the coffee machine that Rafeal and Valon knew it to be from two hours ago. "These two idiots are supposed to be getting you more scrumptious souls... but THEY INSIST ON TORTURING ME WITH THESE STUPID RIDDLES INSTEAD!" A stream of high-pitched giggles erupted from him, making the other two wince.

The coffee machine burbled once and the red light came back on.

"Oh, Leviathan, you are so right. I should just duel them and take their souls instead, but there's little choice in other employees... except for the Pharaoh, but having him as an employee would just be wrong."

Rafeal and Valon exchanged looks. "Hey, Dartz," Valon started, settling further back into his chair, "why did the chicken cross the road?"

"And why was the broom late?" Rafeal added, repeating the one joke he knew again. Not that Dartz cared- he had heard that joke a million times during these last two hours and hadn't said anything about it yet.

"See, Leviathan! They don't even ask GOOD riddles... just stupid ones..." Unexpectedly, he almost went into a crying frenzy, but the hiccups got into the way and became a hiccuping frenzy instead. "Once you come back, I'm gonna teach you some good riddles... like, 'What walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three in the evening?'"

"Man!" Valon cried out, draining his cup of lukewarm coffee in one gulp. He winced at the bitter taste again, and resolved to actually change the filter once in a while.

Dartz glared at him and then turned back to the coffee machine. "I hate them," he growled out. "Promise me you'll bite off their heads, Leviathan. I need you to promise me that!"

The coffee machine burbled again, the red light fading out as the heater went on the fritz.

"THANK YOU LEVIATHAN!"

* * *

Rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiippppppp!

Alister carefully applied the newly ripped- check out the word overhead- piece of duct-tape over his ear to the television set. It hadn't been easy to do, but he had managed to find a way to tape his head to the screen. All it had taken was determination, duct-tape... and a whoooole lot of Pixie Stix.

Now, though, he was almost done. The last thing he needed was another Pixie Stix. Then, he'd turn on the TV and NEVER MISS ANOTHER SAILOR MOON EPISODE AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

"Did you hear that, Raffy?"

"I wish I hadn't."

Valon paused a minute in his internet surfing, head cocked to one side. He could've sworn he heard someone laughing in a high-pitched way... kinda've like Dartz did after the thirtieth cup. Shortly after the next he realized they were there- and listening in on his suddenly private conversation that he had started to shout out loud- and told them both where to get off. Separately.

Rafeal, meanwhile, wasted no time and clicked the 'print' button. The printer began to print out another picture of a beautifully painted Orange County Choppers motorcycle, next to at least twelve others. Once he got done with printing out these babies, then he planned to look for pictures of squirrels. Then he could share them with Fluffy and show him that the world of squirrels was much bigger than the acorn tree.

"Well... I guess it doesn't matter," the brunette finally said. His eyes went back to scanning the computer screen, looking for just the perfect picture... "Do you think Mai would prefer a picture of a jungle cat... or a domestic cat..?"

"What kind of message are you trying to give her?"

"Uh..."

The blond looked over at him briefly and then back to the screen. "A jungle cat on a motorcycle."

"Why a motorbike?"

"Motorcycles are cool."

"Yeah... but..."

"Trust me: jungle cat- preferably with a leather jacket on it- on or near a motorcycle. Oh, and the jungle cat should be a jaguar or a panther, and the motorcycle should match it. Got that?"

Valon nodded. "What about a domestic cat with a leather jacket on- with studs, even- on a motorcycle that matches its fluffy white fur?"

The blond considered for a second. "Print it out- at least it will drain the cartridge some more."

"Okay. But what does that picture say to a girl?"

"Valon- you're the one who's supposed to know more about girls. You're talking to the sociopath here. You called me that yourself."

"No... that was Alister. In reply, you called him an anorexic girly-man. With the perfect Shwarzinagger accent."

"Then you started to laugh... and he called you a backwards earthworm intent on finding one thing- a mate."

Valon nodded in agreement, remembering the event all too clearly. "Yeah, and then Mai heard that and threatened to claw his eyes out. And also called him a cross-dressing, gender confused- and confusing to other people- orthodontist. What she has against orthodontics I will never know... unless if the subject is raised on one of our soon-to-be dates... And I don't understand the 'backwards' part... I sure don't feel backwards..."

"It's just one of your gifts."

"I guess..."

* * *

The door opened, and he could hear footsteps enter. He wished he was able to twist around to see who it was, but the duct tape prevented that. Instead, he listened closely to the voice. "What," it asked with a sharp tone, "are you doing?"

Alister blinked a few times. He should have figured that the newcomer would ask that. Fortunately, it wasn't Dartz or Mai... thank goodness. "I'm not going to miss another episode of my show again," he answered. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Like you're attempting a Hundini escape."

The redhead muttered a curse under his breath, wishing he could shoot one of his death glares at Naomi. Unable to do so, he merely asked, "What do you want?"

Naomi moved around him so they could literally see eye-to-eye, not bothering to hide the smile on her face. He realized that the more and more he saw her, the more and more she seemed to have that look on her face. "Just wanted to know whether you wanted to eat lunch with everybody else... or should a plate be brought out to you."

"That depends- what is it and who made it?"

"Mac-'n'-Cheese and I did."

"No thanks... I'm... not hungry..."

Naomi shrugged and walked back towards the door again. "That's exactly what Raffy and Vally said, too. Honestly- I'm not that bad of cook!" She slammed the door angrily behind her, making Alister wince a bit. One side effect never really mentioned about going on a pixie stix induced sugar rush was the headache that came with it as it slowly- very slowly- left.

* * *

"Ugh... I ha'e caffiene-indu'e' 'eada'hes..," the Atlantean moaned into the table, since his head was currently buried in his arms. The words came to his two employees' ears muffled, sounding more like 'uff... I haf cuffene anduu hadak..' The coffee binge had ended shortly after the printer's cartridges had died completely.

Valon and Rafeal exchanged mischievous glances. The rest of the computer paper they had colored in green and red with markers and cut them up into shapes of squirrels and bunnies after a good-natured, completely gore-free wrestling match. After that, the two had taped the miniature mammals onto the walls of the entire building with scotch-tape. Not as good as duct-tape, but Alister had managed to snatch all the available rolls.

"Hey, sir," Valon started, leaning forward onto Dartz's desk, "remember when you first hired me all those loooooong years back..? About... six, seven years?"

"You've been stuck here for that long?" Rafeal asked, shocked. "How did you manage to survive?"

"You don't want to know..."

Dartz moaned, obviously not liking the loud noises hitting his brain and bouncing out again. Slowly, he lifted his head up, pushing his long silver bangs out of his cloudy vision. "Wha' 'bout it?"

"Who wrote the contract? I'm just wondering, 'cause I've never ran into the bloke an' I'd really like to ask a few questions."

"..wha' contra't.?"

"The one all employees sign and all that..?"

Dartz blinked slowly. "The'e wasn't no contra't... so wha' in Atlan'a 'r' 'ou tal'ing 'bout?"

Rafeal nudged Valon in the side, gaining the brunette's attention. "I didn't know you could get drunk from drinking too much coffee," he whispered. "In fact... I think the next time you and Alister choose to drink, drink the coffee."

"Coffee tastes like chalk," the brunette whispered back. "Besides, I tried once an' all it gave me was a caffeine high. And I couldn't get the taste of chalk out of my mouth for two weeks."

"Hmm... well, then I guess it only works on Dartz then..."

"Wha' on'y wor's on me?"

"Nothing," Valon replied quickly, shooting a glare at the blond. "But wasn't there a contract about salary and all that stuff?"

Dartz buried his head again, ignoring the question. "I nee' A'vil..." he muttered, the words further impeded by his hair and arms. "Ra'eal- go ge' some a'vil... pwease..."

"Yes, sir," Rafeal sighed, getting up from his chair. This stunk- now he wouldn't get to see the torture commencing... and all because out of the four of them, he was the only one without a record of speeding or, strangely enough, an inability to parallel park.

Valon waved the blond off, making a mental noncommitable promise to not start torturing the contract-writer before he got back. "Now, Dartzy... there SHOULD be a contract for each of us SOMEWHERE. How else do you keep files?"

"Fi'es? Wha're they..?"

"Bits of paper saying we- Mai, Raffy, Ally, even Naomi, and myself- were under your employment during such and such a time... and what we did wrong/good/whatever, all of that sort of stuff."

"Nao'i wouldn' 'ave one o' those... 'ou 'ouldn' 'ant to 'eep a re'ord o' 'er work..."

Valon blinked, his mind still trying to unravel the last bit of syllables. "..What.?"

"W'eres the a'vil?"

The door opened again and Rafeal stepped inside, placing the bottle of advil next to Dartz's elbow. Valon glanced up at him, saying, "That was fast? Did you teleport down to the pharmacy an' back?"

Rafeal gave him a look as he settled back into his chair. "No. Naomi practically stuffed the bottle into my throat after shouting something. And don't ask where she went, I have no idea. She just stalked off."

"I didn't 'practically stuff' it down your throat," the girl growled from behind them. "I either did or didn't. Besides, you had your stinkin' helmet on already and couldn't hear my telling you that there already was a bottle of advil in the cupboard, if you had just taken a second to look."

"How did you get in here? Without us hearing you!"

"Don't question my powers. And if you three don't hurry up, your lunch is gonna get cold," Naomi growled over her shoulder as yet again, she walked out through the door, slamming it behind her. "AND DON'T THINK THAT THE MICROWAVE IS GONNA HELP- CAUSE I'M PLANNING ON FRYING IT!"

Valon and Rafeal exchanged glances. "How is she gonna fry a microwave? It's connected to the wall, ain't it?" the brunette asked.

"And when did we agree to eat lunch?" the blond replied back.

Dartz moaned into the table. "I 'anna a'vil..."

* * *

Mai glared over her perfectly safe, non poisoned sandwich, at the concoction that was being practically spilt into her lap. "That... doesn't look safe. Besides- shouldn't you be bugging Rafeal?"

The brunette fiend nudged the bowl closer towards her. "I followed the directions on the box, and I refuse to eat the whole thing myself- it's unhealthy to eat that much of pasta. Besides... that chicken could have salmonella bacteria in it. It wouldn't surprise me- we are 'living' with four males."

The blond pushed the bowl as far away from her as her arms could reach. "It would be unhealthy to eat anything an 'assassin' cooked. That's just something my mother taught me." She turned back to her book, figuring the conversation would be over with that.

No such luck. Naomi took the bowl and placed next to some others, but turned back to continue. "I didn't know you had a mom. Did she teach you to be such a bleep, too?"

Mai smiled, taking precious little time to reply, "Yep. Did yours teach you how, too?"

"Yep."

"Thought so. Go bug Rafeal, please- he rarely gets bugged. And before you ask, my plague happens to be that Aussie called 'Valon.' He is always trying to get me to go out on a date with him. Ugh..."

Naomi shrugged, leaning further back into her chair. "At least you're not stuck with a sociopath. Of course, it makes killing nameless people much more easier..."

"Huh-uh... Tell me," Mai snapped her book shut, knowing full well that- just like with Valon- there was no way to keep her mouth shut short of a muzzle, "how do you like killing people? Poison? Snapping their necks..? Sticking poisonous lizards in their boots?"

"Not everyone wears boots- and where did you get the idea with the lizards? I haven't thought of what to do with the six poisonous ones I have in my closet. But thanks to you, now I do."

The door opened, admitting their tall, staggering boss into the room. He stumbled towards the sink, nearly toppling over in the process. He slumped to the floor, curled up in a little ball and fell asleep. Mai and Naomi watched him for a minute and shook their heads. Poor guy.

"Now where were we?"

"Something about lizards."

"Ah... yes, that..."

* * *

What time is it..? Where the heck is the clock in this room..? And more importantly- WHERE IS THE REMOTE CONTROLLER! Or at least the buttons on the T.V.

Amid his mental rantings and wishes that he had thought of bringing the whole of his collection of pixie stix down with him, the door to the living room opened again and the foot steps of a very miffed Aussie pounded to him. Alister could tell that Valon was beyond annoyed due to the particularly loud stomps he made as he made his way to the couch and literally crashed.

Rafeal followed him, shuffling papers in his hands constantly. He crashed into the arm chair, though, as Valon had stretched out over the entire sofa. "At least we have these neat pictures from the internet," the blond muttered, skimming through the dozens of pictures they had printed out. "And you'd think the print cartridges would have more ink in them..."

Valon grunted, kicking his boots off onto the floor. The redhead winced and gagged as the stench overpowered all other senses. "But we still don't know who it is that wrote up our contracts- and I honestly want to know. I mean, Dartz once told me that it was in my contract to dress up as a maid and clean the dishes in the sink. It was humiliating!"

"Hmph- I'd personally would like to know who thought up the sum of our salaries. Hey, who's coughing?"

"I don't know... Do ya want a pixie stix?" He waved a new bag at the blond, one of the intoxicating sugar packets- or three- in his hand already.

Rafeal inwardly shuddered. Thanks to all of the other males in the building, he had learned three precious lessons- Don't drink more than ten mugs of coffee at a single sitting, Never get drunk while trying to pull off a prank, and DON'T EVER, NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, **EVER** EAT PIXIE STIX IF YOU WISH TO KEEP YOUR BRAIN FROM EXPLODING. "No thanks," he replied. "You okay over there, Alister?"

"Ah, he's just faking it," Valon dismissed, throwing an already empty pixie stix towards the garbage can. "Oh, and Alister- thanks for the Pixie Stix. I found 'em in yer room."

"Cough... cough... stench... cough... bad..."

"Yeah- you ought ta air out yer room now and again, Ally."

* * *

Their conversation trailed off shortly after the Atlantean started snoring. Naomi sipped her newly poured mug of tea. "Maybe..," she started, placing the half-empty cup onto the table.

"What?"

"We should cut off his hair- it's too long in my opinion," the brunette finished. "Or at least we should spike it using some of your boyfriend's hair gel- he wouldn't mind, would he?"

Mai chuckled softly, envisioning the annoyed look on her 'boyfriend's' face when he realized his supply of hair gel had once again ran out. "Of course he would, but who cares? I'll go get the jar, you make sure Dartzy doesn't wake up."

Naomi nodded in agreement, keeping a close eye on the snoring form.

"Oh- and should we dye his hair too?" the blond paused in her retrieving mission to ask. "I've got Sparklin' Purple and Passion Pink in my room. Well?"

"Purrrrrrrfect."

"Please don't do that again."

* * *

Valon glanced at the rapidly emptying bag and groaned. Why him..? And only five sticks left, too... Whine. "Hey, Raffy," he started, choosing not to ask for more sugar high problems than he will probably have, "I'm bored... Raffy?"

The brunette twisted his head so he could see where Rafeal had been last. The blond was slumped in the chair, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. "Raffy... did you fall asleep on me! How could you! I'M SO BLEEPIN' BORED!" Valon checked on Alister, and groaned as he realized that even the redhead was asleep. Dang it.

Neither of them budged.

Valon rolled off onto the floor, ignoring the heavy thump he made as he landed. He found his boots and slipped them on. For the first time since forever, Alister budged- or breathed, actually. Either way, he still wasn't going anywhere for a while. With another 'hmph,' Valon stood up and walked over to Rafeal on the looping way out of the room. "I'm gonna go find our contract writer while you snooze. Have a nice time SLEEPIN'! Ahem..."

Rafeal muttered something and rolled over onto his side. Thoroughly disappointed, Valon left the room, slamming the door behind them. Unbeknownst to him, but neither of the two budged.

* * *

"You tied him to the chair? Nice thought," Mai approved, softly shutting the kitchen door behind her. She placed the hair gel and dye on the table, arranging them all in a neat, and orderly fashion. Meaning, in a fashion only discernible to her.

Naomi checked the notes to the rope for the fifth time. Nothing in the world was going to get Dartz out of this one- or help his blood circulation. "You're the hair expert here, so do we dye his hair first or spike it?"

"Ya know... He looks kinda funny with his hair out of the ponytail..."

"He looks like a bleepin' Barbie doll, now dye or spike?"

Still giggling, Mai picked up one of her dyes and threw it over towards Naomi. The brunette caught it smoothly and turned it over to look for directions. Mai opened the refrigerator and took out a half full jar of applesauce. "It's faster to use applesauce instead of water for this- don't give me that look, I mean it."

"So we're dousing his head in applesauce... and then dying and spiking it?" Naomi asked, her face starting to stretch into a smile. "Where's the camera when you need it..?"

"Probably stuck in Valon's room somewhere. Most likely in his closet."

"Hmph. Well let's get started before he wakes up," Naomi took off the top on the dye jar, placing it back onto the table. "And we're shaving his hair off if he wakes up before we're done, got it?"

"Got it."

* * *

Valon shuffled around for the umpteenth time around the second floor, mumbling to himself. He came to the staircase again, and immediately turned around to walk back down the hallway again. Wait. The staircase.

He turned around again, looking closer at the set of deceptively ordinary stairs. Too deceptive. Valon raced up the stairs, soon coming upon a door. Hmmm... a deceptively ordinary door at that... if it wasn't completely OUT OF THE ORDINARY! Ahem. A totally ordinary, unlocked door, at the top of a staircase.

Bingo.

Smiling evilly, the brunette opened the door and entered the room. He was going to bet everything that this was where the stinkin' guy stayed, laughing away while his victims had to practically do things meant only for suicidal stunt doubles... And he was going down... today.

"Bwahahahahaha... Now I have FOUND YOU!" His evil laugh was choked off as he realized who was also in the room with him, currently playing a game of Pac-man on the out-of-date Mac computer.

The one observing the game adjusted his glasses, sending rays of light cascading towards the aussie. Valon ducked, glad he wasn't wearing sunglasses. The bespectacled person snorted, and said, "For crying out loud, Rex, you can't run into the stinkin' ghosts! Are you crazy!"

The other one, who was holding the mouse, sent a glare the other teen's way. "Well I can't play this game with you insect brain shouting in my ear the entire time!"

Valon stumbled across the room towards them, taking only a mild interest in the game. "What.. what are you two doing up here!" he asked, drawing their attention easily. "And you're playing that game wrong, idiot."

Rex snorted and clicked again on the mouse. A ghost snagged the Pac-man for the umpteenth time and he snorted again, just for good measure. "Everyone's a critic. Well then, how DO you play this stinkin' game?"

"Better than you are, dimwit," Weevil replied. "And what are YOU doing up here? We were finishing up some errand Dartz sent us to do."

Valon blinked. "He sent you two up here to play Pac-man? Why the heck couldn't he have done that earlier!"

The door to the room opened again, and in stepped the strangest mohawk beheaded guy that ever lived. The three teens jaws dropped almost literally to the floor, even though the person looked rather... unhappy, in the least.

"Umm... s-sir? What h-happened to your... h-h-head?" stammered out Valon amid tangled up bits of laughter. "I-i-i-it l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-looks like a-"

"Valon, shut up right now. Mr. Underwood and Mr. Raptor- you may go now. YOU TOO, Valon," Dartz hissed, painfully aware that his redone hair hit the ceiling at times. "Tell Ms. Valentine and Ms. Ryuzaki that-"

"That they've outdone themselves? Will do." Ducking around his boss, laughter coming easily, Valon raced back down the staircase out onto the hallway below. From there he half stumbled, half walked down the hall. Rex and Weevil shut the program down, both trying to keep a straight face- which they quite obviously didn't do- and left after Valon.

Growling deep in his throat, the Atlantean slammed the door behind them. He went over to the computer and entered a password to get a file that was securely off limits to the entire work force. "Now where is Valon's... ah, there we go..." Smiling, Dartz added one last tiny bit to the file, saved it and closed out of it. "Now on to Rafeal... bwahahaha!"

Up high in the corner of the rather small room, a snake roughly the size of a tiny horse slithered further down onto the floor. It's forked tongue slivered in and out, it's dark eyes watching it's owner carefully. The snake moved its head to the side, almost blinking at the speed and furiousity that the Atlantean was typing at.

From that speed and maniacal laughter, it seemed that those idiots were in for a special treat tomorrow...

I'll leave that to your imagination. Oh, and Shirlanka-San, I personally love the Queen Mab speech from Romeo and Juliet. Did you have to read that for school this year too? I still loathe Romeo and Juliet with great intensity, but the play as a whole wasn't too bad. Anyways... Sorry about not updating any sooner. I kinda forgot to keep writing for a stretch of time, but I'll try not to let that happen again.

* * *

Anyways... THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL OF THOSE REVIEWS, I LOOOOOVE THEM! You guys are so nice to me... sniff... sniff. I think I'm gonna cry... sniff... THANK YOU! Oh, and enjoy, as always. 


	12. Anger Issues

Yeesh- sorry I took so long. If anyone is still thinking about staying put with me, than enjoy and THANK YOU AS ALWAYS!

Chapter 12: Anger Issues Are High Today, With a Low Chance of Revenge

Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint you, but nope. None of its mine except the crazed Naomi.

* * *

The door to the meeting room creaked open slowly, just wide enough for him to peak through. Was she...? Oh no... Naomi was already there, waiting for both Dartz and him. She was leaning all the way back as far as she could in a chair, feet holding her in one place by being wedged under the table. She tossed a dagger into the air and caught its hilt as it spun down again.

She wasn't really going to bring a weapon with her... right..?

Well, she can go right on and keep tossing that knife up in the air all day if she wanted to; he knew who was his target and he sure didn't need Dartz telling him all over again.

So decided, Rafeal slowly inched the door shut again, intent on leaving her behind... and nearly jumped straight out of his boots as he received the surprise of his life.

"Ya know, someone's gonna hav'ta get Alister off- literally- of the T.V. set," the 'surprise' said in its usual heavy Australian accent. "Don't suppose you could...?"

Mentally cursing the brunette out- why did he have to be so loud!- Rafeal reluctantly replied in a low voice, "No, I can't. Unlike you, I actually have a target to go after, so if you'll excuse me, now..."

"Rafeal- Valon? For once you two are on time?" It was a day for guessing who's voice was who's apparently, and the two didn't need three guesses to know who it was now. In fact, they didn't even have to bother, as the newcomer made himself present as he waltzed his way between the two and opening the door all the way.

Naomi looked up as the door opened, neatly catching the dagger without even looking at it. "Ah... so there you are. And Vally too? Interesting... I thought he was more of a loner... Oh- and I see you managed to get the dye and glitter out. Sir."

The brunette sent a glare her way, but didn't bother with replying- she'd have a field day in annoying him further. "Dartz, can I pleeeaaassse leave? I know what my mission is... and I'm supposed to be off duty today anyways, so-"

Dartz cut off his whining with a glare as he seated himself down. "And let this golden opportunity go to waste? Never. You hardly get to mission briefing on time on any other day. Now... Rafeal... Naomi..." Keeping one eye on Valon so he couldn't just sneak off, their boss turned the rest of his attention to the other two. "I did manage to get the dye out, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. You two are to once again go after First Most Wanted Soul..."

"Who is?" Naomi interrupted.

Rafeal gave her an annoyed look- she claims she worked here for practically forever, yet she doesn't know which Wanted Soul was who?- and answered for their boss, "Yugi Mouto." He couldn't help but give in to his immature side and add a 'duh' in there.

"Enough," Dartz hissed, already growing annoyed at how the briefing was going. Technically they didn't need it after the countless times he handed it to the blond before but... it was just fun to make them come all the time. Especially when they found it annoying and said amusing things about it when they thought he wasn't listening. "I want Mr. Mouto's soul captured this time."

Rafeal nodded seriously- just like he did countless times before. "Will do." _Now can you get Naomi to stay here? She can torture Alister even better than Valon can._

The asassin leaned over the table, dagger momentarily forgotten so that it fell to the floor- or into it. "And where in this little duel am I coming in?" she asked.

"It's your own fault you're stuck on this one, my dear," Dartz answered, unable to keep the smile off of his face. It was very rare that he ever got Naomi back- just like how rare it was for Valon to show up for something on time. "As I can remember it, you more or less blackmailed Rafeal in letting you go. Although, with blackmail the term shouldn't be 'letting' you, would it?"

Naomi blinked the statement out of her concern. "Can I kill that annoying bleep?"

"Please let her- that girl is soooooooo stupidly annoying," Valon added. "Always going off on how 'friendship is soooooooo important and blah, blah, BLAH!'"

Dartz glanced from one brunette to the other, only mildly concerned that the thought of killing things personally in a rather grosteque fashion was starting to spread from the assassin to the rest of his employees. True... the ultimate mission was to destroy all humanity... but that wasn't murder- that's called saving the planet. "No." He finally answered.

The assassin frowned, obviously displeased with the answer. She leaned back in her chair though, hopefully intending to let the rest of the briefing go as planned. Valon, on the other hand, groaned and immediately opened his mouth to protest-

-but was cut off quite cleanly. "And you, Valon, can deliver a message for me. Tell Mr. Underwood and Mr. Raptor to get Alister off of the... 'television' set."

Valon frowned until he realized that the fool had left a loophole in there. "I know that I can, sir... but do I ha-"

"YES."

"Okie-dokie." There was not a chance in Hades' domain that he could have missed the intended threats hidden in that answer. The Australian left the room quickly, and the remaining occupants could hear him shouting loudly for the two midgets.

Rafeal shook his head absentmindedly- once upon a time people didn't have to deal with headaches, and now, thanks to Valon, everyone in this building had their own private bottle of Tylenol AND Advil. "Anything else sir?"

"Errr... no. Get going."

The brunette was up and out as soon as their boss had said 'no,'slamming the door behind her. Rafeal followed slowly after her- maybe she'd start off without him and get lost and never come back. That would be nice.

Unfortunately, as he entered the hallway- closing the door quietly closed behind him ( he really didn't need Dartz yelling at him for yet another migraine )- he could hear a cry of surprise/pain and a thud... somewhere's down towards the living room. Uh-oh.

* * *

That hurt... Blinking, Valon resisted the urge to rub at his head where his attacker had hit him. Wouldn't look too tough of him- and it was rather difficult to accomplish otherwise when laying right on the floor. "Wha' was that for!" he demanded with a frown.

His attacker- Naomi, who else?- raised her eyebrow, smiled and replied, "Oooohhhh... I felt like it. And also for the shouting... I have a headache, ya see."

Muttering obscenities, the Australian sat up. "Well, ya didn't have ta hit me! And you do a fair amount of shouting yourself!"

Two seconds later and he had yet another beautiful, clear view of the ceiling lights. "HEEEEYYYY!"

Before another hit could be landed, the door to the room slammed open, admitting a very tall, muscled blond. "What's going on?" he demanded, taking a cautious step into the room.

From behind the edge of the couch, Rex dived to try burrowing under it, crying, "AHH! Don't let it get me!"

Next to him- but standing and looking more annoyed than frightened- Weevil rolled his eyes. With not a drop of sarcasm left out of his voice, he replied, "Well what does it look like, blondie? Your crazy friend is trying to kill Valon- which I personally don't mind."

Rafeal frowned and opened his mouth to say something to Naomi- probably something nasty- but was shut up mercifully for this author in having to censor everything as the brunette flew past him, saying something along the lines of 'I have to get changed before we go- I'll be down in a minute.' So, instead of overworking my hands, he was left blinking and mouth moving... but nothing coming out... mostly. "Wha- what..?"

With a grunt, the Aussie got back to his feet, choosing to wipe the 'dust' off of his clothes instead of trying to find out what part of his back was broken thanks to the 'crazy' one. "Can I kill her now?"

Ignoring the wrestling fight that was Weevil trying to drag Rex out from under the couch- unsuccessfully- Rafeal shrugged and sank instead into his favorite armchair. "I didn't know you were going to apprentice under an assassin. Did she hit you that hard that you have to pretend you're not hurt?"

"You can tell?"

"Hmmm... the wincing and constant wiping at your clothes- yeah."

Choosing not to reply, Valon shuffled over till he was beside Weevil. He grabbed a hold of Rex's exposed sneaker and pulled once. Out came Rex. "Oof! Hey- I was hiding!"

The brunette dragged Rex across the carpet towards the... occupied TV set, grabbing Weevil by the collar of his shirt along the way. "You two get to work with those sissors and get 'im out of there. WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT!"

Alister turned off the flow of protests as quickly as though someone had turned off his vocal cords with a switch. It wasn't a wise idea to try protesting when it was two or three tempramental people cutting you out of duct tape. They might decide to leave some of it sticking it in your hair or worse... like cutting your hair off along WITH the tape... shudder...

Rafeal winced and got up quickly to leave. "I better go meet Naomi by the, uh, motorcycles... before she decides to leave by herself, ya know? Bye." He left the room before the growling Valon could say a thing.

* * *

Four, fifty-nine and counting... Five o' clock. Scowling, Rafeal glanced up from his wristwatch to scan the room again. Surely it didn't take girls more than five- ten minutes, tops- to change their outfit? And certainly not Naomi- she was almost wearing some sort of black shirt and the same color of pants.

And more importantly, why was she changing her outfit anyways..? THIS WAS NOT A DATE! Hmph, he should have said something earlier. True, it would have earned him an never ending stream of teasing from Valon for saying something- whether it was a compliment or not- about her clothes, but at least he wouldn't be waiting here now!

Well, too late now. Scowling, the blond shifted balance to one foot from the other, keeping both the motorcycle and him up- never mind the kickstand. He decided to give her just oooooonnnnnneeee last minute. Then he'd leave.

Fortunately for his health, she arrived safely within the parameters of five seconds to blast off. She didn't bother to check whose helmet she was grabbing, but just picked up the nearest one and placed it 'gracefully' over her hair... which was for once up in an intricate version of a ponytail.

And not only that was different- she was actually wearing a skirt! Fortunately for the nearly-having-a-heart-attack-from-the-shock Rafeal, she was still wearing her regular kind of black tank top... with a slightly lower cut... eep. Ack-! She's actually wearing makeup!

Glad she couldn't see him blinking in surprise at her choice of clothing due to the dark visor on his helmet, Rafeal growled, "This isn't a date or anything- it's a serious mission." Further comments were cut off as she slid onto the seat behind him and slung an arm around his waist.

"Don't tell me you're going to be jealous," just from the sound of her voice he could tell she was smiling slyly. "Besides, I was bored with just wearing my usual outfit all the time."

He grunted but didn't say anything.

"Are you going to drive or not?"

Blink. Oh. "Shut up," he growled, kicking the once ignored kickstand up and turning on the motorcycle in one smooth, practiced motion. He paused, quickly got over the embarrassment of the thought of actually saying this, and then said, "Hold on tight- it'd be bad if you fell off."

"Ahh... you're actually worried about me. How sweet." The last part sounded more like a curse than whatever that's supposed to sound like.

"No- I'd lose my job," he corrected just a little too quickly and little too harshly than intended.

The arm around him tightened. "Let's get this over with. Drive."

The motorcycle jolted forward and tore the asphalt up as though the faster it went, the more the driver could pretend he left the female brunette behind.

* * *

"Hmmm..."

"What?"

Duke blinked, jolted out of his thoughts- he was planning on voicing his thoughts out anyway, but then his companion wouldn't be interested. "Oh... I was just thinking..."

"What?" Tristan repeated, shoving his hands into his denim jacket pockets, sparing a glance at the slightly shorter boy. The two had become separated from the rest of the group on a shopping tour. The whole idea was Tea's- she figured that just because they were fighting evil to save the world from being destroyed didn't mean they couldn't enjoy their trip out of their home country and shop for souveniours. Serenity had unfortunately agreed with the idea.

"Weeeellll... if one of us managed to win fair Serenity-" he ignored the glare directed his way, "- then what would the other do? Go out with another girl..? That wouldn't seem right, somehow..."

Tristan snorted. "Not for you," he muttered, just loud enough for the other to hear.

"Hey!"

"C'mon- you got a fan club aching to win your heart."

"I like Sereni- hey! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING, YA LOON!" Duke shouted after the roaring motorcycle, forgetting that he had stepped off the sidewalk onto the street himself. As quickly as his anger came on it was gone and he was elbowing Tristan in the ribs, smiling. "Didja see that girl? Cuuuute."

Tristan rolled his eyes, obviously thinking 'see what I mean?'

His companion chose to ignore that, though, already barreling on with a goofy smile on his face. "I wonder if she likes duelists? Maybe she even duels! Maybe I'll actually meet her if she's dueling Yugi one day! Oh yeah- I can see it now..."

"Yeah- she's trying to steal someone's soul and you're slowly inching closer to her, asking for her phone number," the brunette said, bored. "You do realize these days that bikers generally like beating strangers up or stealing their souls?"

No comment.

Not that stopped him from smirking and saying, "And for all you know, that could've been Mai."

Duke scoffed at the idea. "Mai doesn't wear skirts like that- her's are longer."

"Skirts can't get any shorter than the one that girl was wearing!" Tristan proclaimed loudly, not seeing the curious glances from the nameless people on the sidewalk.

He was surprised as the other boy grabbed his arm and began pulling him along. "C'mon! Maybe we can catch up to her!"

"Them. THEM! THERE WAS A GUY WITH HER TOO!" Tristan was left running after Duke, dodging between groups of people.

* * *

"I THINK SOMEONE'S FOLLOWING US!" Naomi called up towards Rafeal over the roar of the engine. She couldn't get a good look at them- all that she saw as they drove away was two boys running after them... and one of them seemed to have a very goofy grin on his face.

Rafeal winced, making a mental note to tell her that she didn't need to shout that loudly over the engine- he and the whole road heard her quite clearly. "SIRENS OR FLASHING LIGHTS?"

Roll of the eyes. "NO."

"THAN FORGET ABOUT 'EM. Just the pharaoh's idiotic friends, probably," the blond muttered. Another note- tell her not to be so paranoid. "TELL ME IF YOU SEE THE PHARAOH, NOT ANYONE ELSE, GIRL!"

Naomi sniffed. "FINE, BUT I FIGURED YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GET JEALOUS AGAIN- OH! YOU JUST PASSED YOUR TARGET, BY THE WAY."

Muttering many curses, Rafeal snagged the first parking spot he could find- hearing many other curses from a fellow driver as he drove ahead of him- and was off his motorcycle and heading through the crowd to find the elusive boy.

Naomi slid off the seat much more gracefully and even remembered to see if the kickstand was up. Holding her helmet under her arm she followed 'swiftly' after him, actually taking the time to weave through the groups of people.

* * *

"Ahhh..., Serenity- do we have to..?" Joey whined, collapsing against the store window to show just how tired he was.

His sister smirked and nodded. "C'mon- you said Tristan and Duke wasn't too far behind... you can stay out here if you want."

"Nah... I'll go..." with obvious effort he managed to balance again. He really didn't want those two barnacle heads spotting them and catching up. If it hadn't been for his talent for throwing a good imitation of their voices, Yugi would've opened his eyes during his doze to see that both Tristan and Duke weren't there... not since they were separated during that be-U-tiful traffic light. YES!

Even now the poor, bored to sleep, blond was stumbling behind Tea, nearly running into the door. Joey quickly glanced down the street and followed after the others. There was no way those two goof balls were going to find them in here...

They all ignored the screech of tires and the screaming of car horns and people behind them.

* * *

Darting between the latest group of giggling window shoppers, Tristan couldn't help but cry out a triumphant 'GOT'CHA!' as he grabbed unto the dark haired boy's elbow. He was ready to keep hold as Duke tried to wiggle/wrestle/whatever his way out, but he was just standing there, letting all manner of bugs and whatnot fly in and out of his mouth, partying alllllll day long.

Tristan followed Duke's stare and merely grunted at the sight of the other's newest crush. As far as he could see, she looked like any other brunette with a skirt and tank-top back home. "All right- let's go catch up with SER-EN-I-TY and the others before Yugi has another guilt trip, thinking our souls were captured or somethin'." He blinked as the sun suddenly went out. "Wha-?"

"Where's the Pharaoh?" the large blond obstacle demanded, not only grabbing the brunette by the front of his shirt... but actually lifting him up so he was only about two inches away from his face. "NOW-, pencil sharpener head!"

Calmly and blissfully unaware of anything going on, Duke slid out of his companion's grip, sidestepped around the obstacle till he could see his 'crush' again. His face cracked into a smile. "Hullo..."

Naomi blinked. "Hi." She quickly stepped closer to Rafeal, clearly meaning to say 'I'm with him, so get that goofy grin off your face and leave before I alert my partner- who didn't want to be my partner in the first place, but never mind- to beat your brains out onto the ground.'

"Hullo."

Tristan winced. "Jeez, man- get a breath mint, wouldja!" He made a big show of breathing away from the blond's face.

Growling like a rabid dog driven too far into insanity- and isn't that a beautiful mental picture for anyone- Rafeal shook the boy, emphasizing each word he 'said.' "Tell. Me. Where. He. Is. If. You. Want. To. Stay. ALIVE! MY FRIEND IS AN ASSASSIN AND I WON'T HESITATE TO SIC HER ON YOU!"

Duke sidled closer to the girl. "You can sic her on me..."

"DUKE!"

Rafeal blinked, finally becoming aware of the growing situation behind him. Whatever- Naomi could easily take care of herself. She DID nearly choke him- HIM, practically a body builder- to death. "WHERE IS HE!"

Naomi smiled slightly, jokingly asking- he hoped- "May I?"

"YES! PLEASE DO, MY DEAREST!" He didn't wait for her to sic him- he grabbed her in a massive bear hug, nearly breaking her in half. He sighed, content.

Meanwhile, Tristan glanced around his captor's shoulder and rolled his eyes. Leave it to Duke to maul a stranger... reeeeaaaaaal smart. "Look- can I go grab my friend and leave? I have to find my friends before they think our souls were stolen." He blinked and frowned, looking at the blond more closely despite the bad breath. "Heeeeey... you look just like that blond bi...ker... oh."

* * *

Two blocks away, a girl who had once held the affections of two close friends squinted up at the shop's display. She ignored the moans from the boys standing behind her- only she and Tea could ever enjoy window shopping after three minutes. She blinked suddenly and squinted harder up at the display. "Hey... I thought I saw that dress down a few stores... right, Tea?"

The brunette next to her nodded slowly. "Yeah... you're right! Tch, I hate partnership's when it comes down to clothes shopping."

Serenity nodded in good natured annoyedness. If that's a word.

Behind them, Joey shifted weight from one foot to the other, not liking how they were both aching. If he ran into Valon now, he just might give u- noooo... He'd wager a good foot massage to whomever won the duel. "Uh, sis- can we, uh... get going..?" he asked hesitantly.

His sister and Tea exchanged glances and settled for some deep, inner thinking on the matter. Then, as one, they answered, "Nah! We loooove that dress!" They left the two boys with their moves gaping wide, crashing through the store's entrance to do some serious shopping.

"That was unexpected..."

Joey clicked his tongue and sighed. "I was so sure I had asked it the right way... the right time... everything!"

His remaining companion, Yugi, shrugged. "Girls are so hard to figure out. Hey- there's a bench!" They're conversation was momentarily forgotten as they practically mowed down other shoppers on the way there. "Hey... where's Tristan and Duke..?"

"Uhh... they're hiding... in the dark alley... to... spoke us. Umm... Remind me to warn Tea and Serenity before we, uh, get near it, 'kay?"

Yugi nodded sleepily. Boredom and too much relaxation almost always made him sleepy. "Oh... okay..."

* * *

"Duke- Duke! It's the soul stealing bikers again! I TOLD YOU SHE WAS BAD NEWS!" Tristan tried to shout at his still drooling friend, his struggles to be let loose getting more frantic. This guy had to be a robot from Terminater Three- HE WASN'T LETTING GO! "DDDDDUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKEEEEEE!"

Rafeal's frown became beyond pronounced. "That's it! We'll just find your Pharaoh friend TOGETHER!" Ignoring the shrieks from his captive, he dragged him all the way back to his motorcycle, whipped the parking ticket off and put in his back pocket and drove off.

"Just yooooouuuuu an' meeeee..."

Grunting, Naomi lurched after the blond, quickly gave up and shouted after the roar of the motorcycle, "ALL RIGHT! YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM... I'LL TAKE CARE OF... this guy..."

"Sweeetie pieeee..."

"Do you always hit on girls this way..?"

"Cuuuuuutttiiiiieeee..."

* * *

"Okay- this might hurt, so don't hesitate to tell me if it does," Valon stated to the redhead, "Because I wouldn't want to miss a minute of it." His hands clutched a bit of ductape that the idiot had taped around the back of his head. "Ready..? Good." Ignoring the marvelous dives his coworkers made to get behind the only safe haven in the room- the couch- he pulled sharply on the tape end.

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

The brunette tossed the last piece of duct tape into the garbage. That did the trick. "Okay- all done."

"YOU ARE GONNA DDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Ignoring the fact that he was going to leave the television set completely open for any one with time off to use past his show time, Alister stumbled to his feet and started after the other boy. He was usually faster than Valon- it shouldn't take long to catch him.

From behind the couch, Weevil and Rex merely watched, amused, as their ex-coworker succumbed to a wrestling death challenge from the shrieking redhead. "We warned you!" Rex called to him. "Ohhh... that had ta hurt..."

Once the redhead had his prey pinned- if you call sitting on the brunette's back, holding his arms down and ignoring the kicks pinned...- he directed his attention the two other teens. "You- get me some duct tape. Now." He made sure to leave little room for argument in the tone of his voice. "And you- get the biggest container of rubber cement we have. Also right now." Weevil snorted in annoyance but followed behind the over eager Rex.

* * *

Rex was the first to return, carrying a bundle of brand new duct tape that one of the three older and taller boys had bought recently. "Will these do?" he asked sarcastically, dumping the load near Valon's head.

"Hmmm... Yeah, that ought to be enough- Valon, quit struggling. Ready to wrap your very own mummy up?" Alister grinned wickedly. Rex blinked but nodded, first slowly and then faster till he looked more like a bobblehead doll than himself. "Good- legs first."

Valon grunted and continued kicking the air, determined not to give them the chance to even put an ounce of that diabolical stuff on him. "Gerroff me!"

"I- I can't! He's kicking too hard!" Rex cried, nearly getting chopped in half in one of his poor attempts.

The lag time to think of something only took one muttered, untypable curse word. "Take off yer shoes and put it near his face- he'll pass out soon enough." The redhead's words ended in a horrifying evil laugh.

Even Rex blinked again as he did what he was told, hoping to stay on Alister's good side long enough to not suffer the same fate as the poor Aussie. Five minutes later of crossing and uncrossing his toes, and just wiggling them inside his lime green socks, and Rex came to the 'swift' conclusion that his shoes just wasn't stinky enough to produce the same effect Valon's has on everyone else.

Of course, Alister realized the same exact thing. "Hmmm... are those new?"

"Ah-yup."

"Bleep. All right- Raffy's rain boats should be in the hall closet near the kitchen- hold your nose and bring 'em back. If those don't get him, nothing else will..." The redhead trailed off, leaving the already leaving brunette's imagination to supply his own conclusions.

* * *

For Weevil, the search for the 'largest container of rubber cement here' was not working out too well. This building was just too large for own small pint nerd to look through by himself! So... help was required. And who better to ask than one's own boss..?

"Hmm... sir?"

Dartz shut his eyes as his face squinched up from behind the protective shield of his magazine- for once, not Rafeal's. He knew just from the voice along that it was that annoying Weevil again... and if he came to whine over not getting to duel Yugi- well, he was ready for him! Two articles out of 'Torture Weekly'- a must read for any would-be world conquerer- would finally be put to the test!

And with that comforting thought, he managed to soothe his face back into it's usual unwrinkled self quickly enough as he lowered the magazine a bit. "What?" he asked sharply, aiming to get to the torturing part as soon as possible.

The teen calmly answered with his own question, "Where is the 'largest container of rubber cement' sir?"

Dartz's eyes narrowed. Rubber cement was another big item on the torture, things to keep away from employees and even the craft making lists everywhere. "Why?"

"Alister told me to get it, and I don't know where it is."

Eyes narrowed to slits. "You're following... Alister's directions..?"

Weevil frowned, but reluctantly nodded. Now that the whole of his sane and brilliant mind had come back, it had gotten annoyed that he had just left the room without a smart aleck retort- never mind the murderous look in the redhead's eyes! Retort! "Don't remind me," he mumbled.

With a well rehearsed, 'hmph,' Dartz laid his magazine down flat and flipped on the com link to where Alister was probably at- the Living/Wrestling Room. "Alister? Come in- now!"

There was a brief period of yelps of 'gerroff me!' and 'YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF!' before Alister replied to the summons, "Yes, sir?" as sweet as any devious employee can be.

"..Who are you torturing.? Rex.. or Valon..?"

"Valon."

"GEERRRRRROOOOOOOFFFFF MEEEEE!"

The two assembled in the room merely blinked at the very loud scream. "Right, well- what are you planning to do with the rubber cement?"

There was another pause. "Do you want the truth... or a well constructed lie?"

Dartz sighed and rolled his eyes. If there was one rule he learned in dealing with the redhead when he's in such moods, it was to just let everything go- cause if you don't, you're next. "Never mind. Just don't make a mess. Out." He flipped the link closed and quickly informed Weevil before his conscience- or lack thereof- could catch up, "Kitchen Junk Drawer."

The green haired teen turned around and left without a word, determined to get this humiliating journey over with. He paused at the doorway and asked in the passing chance, "May I duel Yu- the Pharaoh after this is all over? Sir?"

Dartz flipped through his magazine, already drawling his reply after the first two words, "Noooooooo."

Weevil sighed, but left, letting the door swing 'quietly' shut with a loud BAM all on it's own.

* * *

"Yugi! YUGI!" The blond snapped to attention just as his chin made hard contact with his chest in his 'friend's' attempt to wake him up... by shaking him. Hard. Verrrry hard. "Oh good! You're awake!"

Tea's all too bright and cheery voice bounded in through Yugi's ears to start ricocheting around inside his skull, happily doing a Riverdance number on his brain. He mumbled something along the lines of 'I was sleepin'... leav' me 'lone..' before he found his chin and chest were going to have an even bigger bruise thanks to the ever so helpful brunette.

Beside him, Joey was getting the same treatment thanks to his own sister. Fortunately for him, one head whack against the back of the bench woke him right up. "Yow!" He rolled off the bench to fall heavily onto the cement, forehead getting the same treatment as the back of his head. "Owwwww..."

Unfortunately for him, Serenity was there to pick him back up and was chattering away in her chipmunk-like voice a mile a minute. "AndanywaysTeaandIsawDukebutnotTristanandweweregettingalittleworriedsowecameouttowak-eyoutwouptohelpusfindhim...Oh-!andDukeiscurrentlyhangingoffofsomegirl...withskirtssuspiciou-slylikeMai's-Iwonderwheretheybuy'em,they'rekindacute,yaknow?"

Joey blinked and just yawned. "...what..?"

Next to him and still a bit drowsy, Yugi was having no luck picking out words from Tea's own gibbering. He just frowned and asked tiredly, "So... you two found some cool... skirts or shirts or... or... or whatever on your... shopping..?"

Tea nodded. "Yep. Look-!Isn'tthispinkshirtwiththellamaonitjustsmashing!"

"Uhhh... yeah... whatever you just said..."

* * *

Naomi lurched forward a few more steps, amazed that no one passing them by them asked what was going on... or told the idiot still hanging off of her to let go, or even spared them a glance. The last she had checked they were in Los Angeles, California- not New York City!

And the boy wasn't being much help. Between 'complimenting' her and asking for her phone number or address, he just held onto her like a leech. At least he wasn't a zombie anymore. "Soooo..." Oh no. "I didn't catch your name, dea- uh..."

"Are those your friends up there? Do they have a crowbar with them?" She paused and then asked sharply, "Can you walk now?"

Duke blinked but answered her question by getting his two feet onto the ground. He still didn't move his arm from her waist, although having it off from around her neck was an improvement. "Sooo...?"

"So?"

"My name's Duke Devlin... uh... heard o' me?"

Naomi shook her head, inwardly smiling. "No."

"Oh... well... maybe I've heard of you before... What's your name?"

"I think that girl's waving at you- I'm sure you've heard of her."

"Wha-?" Duke did a double take, mildly surprised to see Tea leading a part of the group- two of them merely stumbling behind them- and Serenity not too far behind her coming towards them. Hmmm... this could be awkward, introducing Honey Bunny to his two friends... "Well... yeah- they're my friends." He added quickly.

Naomi contemplated her chances of success of trying to pry his hand off of her and quickly gave up. If she wanted to keep her cover she would just have to endure this... and maybe even humiliate this 'Duke Devlin' to teach him a lesson. "Uh-huh... Well, they seem pretty excited to see you."

"Yeah, well... we, uh, I mean, we alllll got separated when they were, uh, shopping."

"Is Duke even your real first name?" She asked on a sudden whim. There were quite a few people she would like to ask that question.

Duke blinked but quickly recovered. "Yep- no lie. Is your name like that?"

"Goody..," Naomi muttered, ignoring the question. The girls finally came up to them and she changed her demeanor at once, becoming one of the type of girls she completely despised... a blond BLOND preppie... "Hi!" she greeted them brightly, enjoying the looks on their faces as they saw their 'friend' with his arm around her waist and her arm around him. "Devvy was just telling me about his friends..." she looked up at him, still smiling, "Or was it fan club?"

Yet again, the poor guy blinked in surprise but once again came back up like a blow-up clown. "Uhh... friends-" quick glance over at Serenity- "Friends." He repeated to solidify the statement... for now.

"Rrrriiiiiiigggghhhhht," Naomi drawled, looking over the two girls to assess weakness, and so on... all in the line of work of a killer.

The taller girl- the brunette- recovered sooner before the other and she turned to Duke. "Who is she..?" she asked warily, glncing her over herself. Hmmm... black on black- with black boots... good makeup job... hmmm... good choices.

By that time the two boys also caught up, though they immediately leaned against the nearest solid- a shop window- and merely yawned and blinked over the rest of the conversation.

"Oh... well, Tea.. Serenity... uh, this is... ummm..." He looked over to Naomi for the answer.

Not that he needed to. Naomi was all too willing to continue this little fun. She extended her hand like any well trained prep and shook hands eagerly with both of the girls. "My name's Heather Vivian Dersh. Though not all together- that'd be a mouthful to say everytime!" she laughed lightly.

Serenity glanced up at Tea but said politely, "Nice to meet you," although in a drab voice. This was waaaaay too weird.

Tea just nodded in reply before turning back to Duke. "Do you know where Tristan is?" she asked sharply.

Duke's mouth flopped open uselessly and he stammered a few incoherent syllables before 'Heather' came to the rescue... again. "Do you mean that brunette with the super-gelled hairdo?" she asked, taking the surprised glance from the brunette as a 'yes'. "Oh-! Well, after me and Devvy got to talkin', he said somethin' about going ahead to look for the rest of the group and left us back thataways." She went so far as to momentarily turn around and gesture vaguely behind them.

"Oh..."

"Yeah... Oh- and I think he also said somethin' about waiting for us in some cafe passed before meeting up with Devvy... whether he found you all or not- didn't he say he'd be there after, what, fifteen, twenty minutes of searching? Devvy?"

'Devvy' nodded absentmindedly, his mind trying to work it's groggy way back to that scant thirty minutes ago. That didn't sound like something Tristan would do... but when jealousy sents in over a guy winning a girl like Heather in a heartbeat, anyone would start acting goofy. "Uh, yeah. Yeah- that's what he said."

Tea pursed her lips but dind't say anything right away. "Oh... well, then... Uhh... care to join us... Heather..? We have to go find him- it's about time we got back to the hotel we're staying at."

"Hotel? You guys aren't from here?" 'Heather' turned back to Duke. "Then where'd you get your awesome tan? I've been dying to get a tan like that!"

"N-no. We're all from Domino City- in Japan."

"Japan! No way!"

"Yep."

Tea watched the exchange with a look of annoyance on her face. When it came clear they weren't going to stop anytime soon, she sighed and 'rudely' interrupted, "Well, look, Duke... Heather. We have to get going back, so if you'll excuse us- Duke, you can see her later, no... later- we have to find Tristan and go. Hmmm..."

Heather laughed lightly again, seemingly reluctant to let her 'tanned hunk' go. "Well, then- I'll let you go. Here, Devvy-" she whipped a pen from seemingly no wheres and grabbed his hand. "Here is my phone number- feel free to call me anytime. I'd like it."

"Wha-? Oh, yeah! Sure, I'll call, Heather!" Duke scanned the number eagerly, already committing to memory before even seeing it. Impossible? Not at all- you just have to concentrate hard enough, bang your head against something enough times that it's not thinking correctly and anything is possible!

"Good. Oh- and a warning! I live with my grump of a stepfather and like, three stepbrothers. Plus two brothers of my own, so if one of them gets the call... well- they're all grumps and they looooove playing games on people- one of them being, as they call it, 'Who are you calling for?' game. Stupid, right?"

Duke nodded, his mind banishing the memories of him, Tristan and Joey playing that sort of a game just days ago.

"Yeah... well, if they won't stop that then just say you're calling for 'Ryu.' For whatever reason, that's my nickname." Untrue- it was actually her code name, like 'Vale' was for Mai. But she obviously didn't mention that. "I'll see you later, Devvy..."

Duke held back a few tears as he said meaningfully, "I'll see you later too... Ryu."

And with a small laugh and big smile, 'Heather' was gone, expertly melting into the crowd.

Tea snorted and grabbed both Duke's and Serenity's elbow. She proceeded to drag them and push both Joey and Yugi along towards the nonexistent cafe. It wasn't long until everyone learned how to walk again just so the torture could end.

They obviously didn't find Tristan and instead they decided to check the hotel. Obviously they didn't find him there and spent the night talking over where he could be, trying to keep Duke from slipping off in a daydream and Joey and Yugi diving right into dreamland. And for the rest of the night that's what went on.

* * *

Meanwhile, Rex had surprised himself in his ability to withstand toxic fumes as he stumbled into the Living Room again, Rafeal's rain boots in one hand, the other pinching his nose. In a nasal voice like his companions, he asked, "'Dhere." He plopped them down by the poor Aussie's face, who gagged and instantly dropped out of conciousness.

Alister snorted, glad he had had enough experience with stinky things to withstand the effects of Rafeal's boots. Anyone that survived Valon's own stench could live through ANYTHING. "All right, let's make this amusing..."

Rex collapsed onto the ground, reduced to having to try crawling away since the stench sapped the strength out of him. "..'ow..?"

The redhead grinned wickedly again, moving off of the prone brunette. "Let's strip him and then mummify him!"

"...You call stripping him and then mummifying him amusing..?"

Blink. "No- just the thought of hearing the screams later as he tries to minimize the pain in taking off the blasted stuff. Oh- and humiliating him for forever appeals to me as well. Why do you ask..?"

Rex flopped his hands, panicked that the stench had now sapped him of the strength to even drag himself along. "Oh... nothing."

Alister's eyes narrowed, then widened considerably when realization dawned on him. "That is sick! I don't like him in any way resembling anything close to that! Actually... I hardly like him at all..."

"I never said that! Just... never mind."

The redhead grunted, choosing to get the worst over with and removed Valon's boots first, taking great care to throw them as far into a corner as possible. "And I was only planning on taking off his shirt and pants! Sicko!"

The door opened at exactly the wrong time and Weevil was left puzzling over the fragments of the sentence he had heard. "Take off his... shirt and pants..?" _SAY WHAT?_ "Is this something that's gonna change the rating on the fic?"

Alister growled and hurled Valon's bracelets- he didn't care what the brunette called them, they. were. BRACELETS!- at him. "NO! Do you have the bleeping rubber cement!"

"..Yeah- but do I want to know what you're going to do with it or not..?"

Rex erupted into a stream of giggles, not caring that he was in a prime position to be duct taped next- nude or not.

"I was going to glue him up on the ceiling, but if that's too much for you to handle then leave!" A pause. "But leave the glue behind."

The green haired teen shuffled further into the room and plopped the glue onto the ground next to the rolls upon rolls of duct tape. "I'll leave you to your... destruction." He ignored the glares and giggles as he left the room again.

By that time the clothing had been removed and the first wrapper to the first roll of duct tape was discarded neatly in the nearest garbage disposal unit. With a grunt and a glare sent at the giggling brunette, Alister all too happily carried on with his task, starting with tying Valon's ankles and wrists together. Just in case if he woke up...

* * *

Two hours later, he and Rex were staring up at the ceiling, a good distance away from the dripping rubber cement. Alister looked at the can of the glue and clucked his tongue. There wasn't enough left to glue another person up to the ceiling- just enough to make sure they couldn't set off of the floor or wall.

"I didn't know that glueing a person to the ceiling would actually work..," Rex muttered to himself, watching idly as the glue dripped to the ground. "He won't, ah... be too angry with me for helping you with this... right?"

"Ohhh... I'm sure he won't," Alister answered quietly, working over the math in his head. Yes, there was definitely enough in here to glue someone firmly to the wall.

"Good."

The redhead calmly replaced the lid on the container- it wouldn't do to have some of the stuff spill out!- and placed it aside, now ignoring the cacoon of duct tape above them. "In fact... he'll probably never figure it out since... since he has such a small mind in figuring such things out."

Rex blinkd. "Huh? Oh- well... that's still good ta know. Anyways... Err- I'm gonna go now... just in case he wakes up, ya know?"

"Right. Well- there is a slight problem." Just as calm as a plotting homicidal maniac, Alister kicked the door closed.

"..what?"

"You're a witness," the redhead informed him, easily pinning the brunette to the floor. "And I don't want any witnesses... mwhahahahahahahaha!" Ignoring the cries for help, he started his work on the newest mummy- first the boot, then away with the outer clothes, and finally with the tape!

As soon as his brief madness was gone, the neat freak gathered the clothes up and- whistling- threw the rubber cement container out along with the four used rolls of duct tape. At the doorway he looked over his exhibit, decided he liked it, and headed out, clothes and duct tape in hand.

* * *

The redhead broke his way into Rafeal's room, deftly opening the window and ripping some good sized pieces of duct tape. For proof of his victory, Alister taped Valon's shirt and Rex's pants onto the outside edge of Raffy's window sill thoroughly. Not even a class five hurricane could rip these clothes off!

And for the finishing touch, he made sure to leave the last bits of clothing in a pile next to one used up duct tape rule and three whole ones. That left four rolls for his own personal use.

And there was still one last victim- or witness, depending on your point of view- to take care of...

* * *

With one hand still over the boy's mouth, Rafeal finally gave up on the high speed search and pulled up to a stop in another fantastic display of driving skills in a teeny, tiny, not-really-there parking spot. "All right, kid-" He got a tighter grip on the boy, "You have one- ONE chance to tell me where the Pharaoh is. AND DON'T ACT INNOCENT ON ME!"

Long before he could get an answer, or rather, even let go of his mouth, a cop car rolled to a stop next to them and the window on the passenger side rolled down. "Is everything okay here?" the cop asked warily, eyes taking in the whole scene.

Rafeal blinked, instantly knowing how this looked. Fortunately, his mind worked quickly for once and he deftly answered, "Oh, yes, officer. My cousin here- Toby- is a... well... a little soft in the head. Pschizophrenic, see?"

The cop didn't look convinced. "Uh-huh?"

"Right, well, he rarely gets to ride on my motorcycle often... but uh, one of the rules his parents have over him- stupid, really, but they'd kill me if I didn't follow 'em- is not to let him have one of his little... episodes in public. Well- we were just starting to head bakc to his, uh, home, when one started coming on."

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah... And he started screaming about how I was gonna kidnap him or somethin'," he added a laugh, which sounded horribly fake to his ears, "and I couldn't get him to be quiet... so..."

"Oh," The cop nodded slowly. "Well, uh, he's turning blue."

Rafeal blinked, and glanced down at the squirming 'Toby'. He was definitely turning a bluish color. "Oh jeez... Umm... don't be too, uh... too shocked or anything at what he says- it's just cause of his uh... a-affliction, as people put it."

"Not at all, sir... not at all."

Reluctantly, the blond took his hand off of his mouth, and instantly Tristan was shouting. "Help! Help, officer! He's lying- he's gonna kill me or somethin'! Please believe me! HE'S STEALING SOULS!" He paused as the cop he was trying to appeal to merely exchanged looks and shrugs with the blond captor. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU'RE THE POLICE! HELP MEEEEEEE! HE'S GOT STINKY SOCKS! ISN'T THAT A CRIME!"

Rafeal shrugged again meekly and gripped tighter on the brunette. "Sad, really... I'm sorry for this, officer... Um, may we get going..?"

The cop nodded briskly, waving his hand in a farewell at the still screeching 'Toby.' The car pulled away. With a grunt, Rafeal placed his hand back on the boy's mouth. "All right- maybe Dartz can get ya to talk... or at least shut you up." And with that he pulled off again, heading finally for the 'hideout.'

* * *

Naomi got back first, in an even worse mood than before. She couldn't believe that she had stooped so low as to act like the exact opposite than she was just to worm her way out of that! It was almost like she hadn't humiliated him at all- just herself! She stomped into the kitchen, wisely heeding her senses into not entering the Living Room- bad vibes were coming from there.

She grunted at the poor display of food left in the fridge and promptly stomped off up to her room, not caring who heard her. Let someone try arguing with her! She'd be more than happy to get into a fight! And to pound something straight into the floor.

Just three doors away from her own... room, she spotted Alister breaking into Rafeal's room- again, but she didn't know that... or did she..?- and smiled. It was the first person she had seen so far... and new fighting experiences always helped.

Naomi leaned against the door way, 'calmly' watching the redhead as he flung Weevil's clothes beside Rex's and Valon's. His top half disappeared outside the window momentarily as he went to finish adding his latest trophy to his collection- the bug maniac's glasses. As soon as the window was closed again did she speak. "What are you doing?"

The redhead started slightly, but didn't immediately throw her a glare and shoot back a reply. Instead, he turned slowly on his heels- glaring, yes, but there was a maniacal glint in his gray eyes- and replied slowly, "How long were you standing there..?"

"Does it matter? Hey- back off, buddy! I am not that kind of girl!"

Alister's eyes narrowed and before she could move he had her in a restricting bear hug. The trip down to the living room was excruciatingly painful what with the punches and kicks, but worth it as she, too, fell unconcious from the mixture of poisonous fumes.

* * *

Humming softly to himself, Alister shut the window in Rafeal's room again, tossing aside the last of the duct tape aside. All of the rolls had been used, but it was worth it. Now there were four trophies outside good ol' Raffy's window- Valon's shirt, Rex's pants, Weevil's glasses... and Naomi's skirt.

Ahhh... this had definitely been a good day... mostly.

As he calmly let himself into his own room, his mind briefly wandered over what the consequences of his actions would bring... but quickly passed over it and went back to relishing the revenge of duct taping all four of them... Not only that- he had pictures for future blackmail.

Poor Raffy. He would never really understand why his coworkers' clothing was in his room... and maybe Dartz will even punish him for all of it... That would be a perfect ending to a perfect day...

Oh... yeah...

* * *

Rafeal and Tristan arrived at the headquarters a few minutes later after the redhead and Mai had fallen asleep. The blond dragged the boy in easily, all the way up to Dartz's office, not really caring whether his boss was awake or not.

Dartz looked vaguely surprised as they entered the room, and quickly hid the magazine he had been... looking at, before snapping, "What do you want? And who's the boy?"

"He's the Pharaoh's friend."

"He's turning blue."

The blond growled, once again not caring whether he'd be punished or not, "He is also very loud and annoying."

"So what is he doing here then?"

Rafeal paused. "Well... we could use him as a hostage.."

Dartz snorted. "And just let the Pharaoh try and stop us before we're ready? Bleep no." The Atlantian blinked, a little surprised to hear him say so vulgar a word. Father would wash his mouth out with soap- even though, at a modest age of Ten thousand and twenty six years old.

"Well... can we bring him to our side?" the blond suggested.

Tristan's eyes widened and he redoubled his efforts to get loose from the blond Hulk and to scream his voice raw.

"Hmmm... perhaps... Hold on-" he momentarily disappeared in the nearest closet. Both captor and captive could hear his muffled voice cry out, "This is a job for... SUPER DARTZ! PRIEST MODE!" When he reappeared again, he was in what looked like a monk's robe or dress- depending on your point of view- with his ever present amulet around his neck.

Rafeal squinted. "Isn't that a dress?"

"NO," the Atlantian growled, lifting the ends up slightly as he made his way closer to the two.

"Looks like a dress."

"SHUT UP! Now... as for you..," Dartz smiled lightly, enjoying the look on the kid's face. He placed his pointer finger on the boy's forehead and said in a chant like way:

" _By the power of the Orichalchos_

_Bring this person under my spell_

_And... and let him drink... er... Toltross-_

If that's even a beverage...

_And let him be... errrrr... no longer his usual self... in a... well._"

"Toltross..?" Rafeal repeated, ignoring the little tiny flash of blue light after the incantation. He also seemingly ignored the fact that the boy that had been squirming in his grasp moments before was now perfectly still. "And 'no longer his usual self in a well..?' What?"

"I forgot the stupid incantation, okay! It happens after ten thousand years!" Dartz growled in reply, fixing the blond in one of his most wilting glares. The effect generally quietened everyone in the room in a second flat. "Now... go throw him in a dungeon cell before he wakes up again." He turned away for the closet again, waving a hand in dismissal.

With a sigh, the blond dragged the boy off, not bothering to ask why they had a dungeon-or where, really- until he was practically in the basement of the building. Imagine his surprise when he found that there was yet another staircase leading further down, neatly labled in a sign on the wall, 'Dungeon- downstairs, room 13.'

_Whatever_, Rafeal thought to himself, swinging the 'Dungeon Room Door'- or so it was labeled on the glass square up at the top- closed behind the sprawled form of the brunette. Time for some sleep and to decide whether to kill the Pharaoh before dueling him... or afterwards as one of their souls gets taken away.

Afterward seemed like a pretty likely choice...

* * *

I apologize to anyone who was offended by the 'jokes' on the 'preps.' In fact, I'll apologize for anything that was found to be offensive... as long as it isn't a stupid thing that I can't imagine being offensive... ahem... I'm very sorry I let the summer laziness set into me. I didn't mean to keep anyone out there still waiting this long just to read a pretty mediocre chapter. Hmm... well, Thanks to anyone who's still reading this- I love you all! AND I'M SORRRRRRRRYYYYYYY! 


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